Judge — November 29, 1884 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

6 THE JUDGE. Journal of Young Sawbone's Bride. Wuen Edward came in, he brought me such a lovely birthday present that I quite forgot about asking him the important question I'd had on my mind all the after- noon. The present was the swectest, ¢ darlingest little English pug imaginable. First I embraced Edward, and then I hugged the pug. and then T embraced the pug and h ward until I didn’t know which of the two was t “What is its name?” I “I'm sure I don’t know,” “T never thought to ask “qPhen Vil call it N said, “T wouldn’t do that,” “ Why not,” Tas cause it isn’t that kin “Well, then, how will Edw quired, and I kept on sv bed time. After we had retired, I remembered that I'd not answer. the letters from the people who wrote to inquire about our rooms, but ward said never mind, one time was as good as another for that, and I was just fall- p, when that horrible dissection up before my mind. I suddenly exclaimed, and grabbed his arm in my nervousness. cious! what's the matte; out of bed, “tis it burglars “Why no,” said [ somewhat annoyed his starting up so sav “ Tonly was go- ing to ask you a qu “Well, for Heavens sake, don’t thunder your questions into a fellow’s ear like that when he’s sound asleep. I supposed it must be either fire or thieves at ie Well, he got after you,” I id he. id he replied, “be- na do?” T in- esting names till ’s the question,” he added, into bed. Did you ever d ward, tell the truth, for if you ever did, I don’t believe 1 could ct anybody? Now nd don t prevaricate, ever respect you again. Vell, then I never did,” he replied “What are you shaking for?” I asked, Shivering with the cold,” said he, ina suppressed voice, and I didn’t ask any more questions, My mind was so relieved that I soon fee! Nov. The dear pug is well. I started in to call it Minerva, because it always looked so wise, but Edward and all the family have takeu to calling it Nervy. Well, we have had several people here to look at rooms, and they all promised tocome back again and never did. How quecr people are, to be sure, old man just st at me instead of staring at the furniture as some of the people did, and finally went off muttering, ‘new at the business I guess.” Hereafter 1 think I shall let Mary show the rooms. . ov. 28th.—Mary says she has rented a room at last to a lady The price E ward and I had thought proper to ask for it was twelve dollars aweek, but Mary savs the lady said she wouldn't give but eight for it. She wants a fire in the grate, and ice water to drink, and six towels aday, and I don’t know what all. I hope she will be nice, but I havn't seen her. Mary says she asked her for references and she gave them on a slip of paper. Edward said he presumed they were all right. I told Edward that I'd often heard Papa cay never presume anything, always be certain “Well,” said Edward, getting cross, “what's the use of looking upieferences. Do One Masnen— Ah—h. Lapies—“ Certainly we're just going Permit me to escort you ladies?” 9 get some oysters.” you suppose anyboc one that will say anything bad about them Isaid, I supposed not. Ido wish Edward wouldn’t get so impatient, though, and I wish we could rent the other rooms. nxious to see the lady that’s coming. now I feel nervous about having a per- son in the house that we don’t know any- thing about. Well, Mary says she’s a lady, and I’m sure I hope she is, y is going to refer toany- T's nothing but a poor old maid, And yet, I make one claim Of late, L always, when I write, Add" D. M." to my name. And, if I'm asked the reason why L always answer th: And friends who beg me to prescribe For * Kitty,’ Tom,” or “Dick,” ‘ay I have earned that proud *D. Mf." * Doctor of Mew-sick.” Potitic1aN—a patriot for revenue only. A conroraTion is a body without a soul. | Prince Bismarck has no end of things to | look after, both at home and abroad, yet his | chief business, it seems, is watching the Ferry. Does the big German mean to cross the Rhine again one of these days? The Man With a Red Nose. Dentne the late political campaign I be- came suddenly aflicted with a most un- accountably red nose. It was an Italian sun-set nose, variegated by auroral streaks. M Cleveland illumination this year | been inferior in size and brillianey. ~ 1 could even read a paper on the darkest night by my nose, Society, which always turns from you when you are in trouble, then be simply a conglomeration of _perse Those that I had believed friends, greeted me with crucl taunts: “Hello, Nick! Low much did that cost? And how’ are noses running now? Why don’t you have it painted?” t something new,” I would furiously former friend Malt Whitms artist, suid one ¢ (Ly the way, | name when he w artist: should mpt to paint that, i wouldn't be believed, and the public would the picture, on the ground that it *t trne to nature—too highly colored.” The ball’s up,” said another quondam friend. “Yes, and hereafter you can go to the ‘three balls’ when you want money. Don’t come to me.” 1 was applied to for my pictnre to be necd asa terrible example. by the Woman's ©. 'T, Union, and the Sulvation Army always paused and saluted when they passed me on eee) comicbooks.com