Judge — October 11, 1884 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Tie Harpers th As nasty as Nast can be When he’s fully bent To thus represent they * thro’ Nast, as Nast can be, And show Just wha By stale old De-moe-ra-cy harp ‘The Harpers th As nasty as Nast When he’s for ‘That's not very / When he’s for De-moc ” thro’ Nast, “harp” thro’ Nast, ‘As nasty as Nast can be, And boldly do swear if There be no tariff ‘Twill be through De-moc-ra-cy. ‘The Harpers they As nasty as ) rp” thro’ N. st can be— To poor ‘To rich men more riches, The works of De-moc-ra-cy. en more ditches, The Harpers they As nasty as } Always wrongsided harp” thro’ Nast, ast can be, And always derided By all save Democ-ra-cy. The Harpers the ” thro’ Nast, Een fail to remember femini gender, In aiding De-moe-ra-ey ‘The Harpers they As nasty as Nast can But they've not the motors To draw many voters To dead old De thro’ Nast, But they “harp” ‘That never will pay Either them or De-moc-racy in a way The Harpers they “harp” thro’ Nast, As nasty as Nast can b I's a pity that Nast With a genius so vast Shoud draw for De-moe-ra-cy, The Harpers they “Sharp” ‘As nasty as Nast can be, But soon they will wonder, And cry, “* What in thunder! me of Democ-ra-cy?” thro’ Nast, Wuy was Miss Morosini, before her mar- riage, like a Lima bean? Because she wanted Schelling. After marriage ited heir? Schelling. why isshe like a disinher- Because she (is) cut off with a Tue expression ‘I don’t care a fig!” is supposed to have originated as follows: In the Garden of Eden our ancestress Eve had a little tiff with Adam, in which he used the expression, ‘I don’t care a fig leaf for you,” probably referring to her airy and simple costume. When peace was restored between our first parents, Madam Eve reminded him of his ungentlemanly remark. Subsequently the term was abbreviated, until it descended to the modern words “I don’t care a fig.” A HOME Pat—* Fuith, an’ Lam.” monopolists will rule, and cut down wages 2” A Faux Pas. Sur was an intelligent And crme of the elite; With eye-glass and with spinster curl She daily walked the street, She hada fright 1 girl, And does no lo: When smi her dearest beau She found her teeth were home. WIvz DATTLEAXE. No man is so lazy as to be unwilling to ’ but we have known a man to draw both a horse and wagon, or even a whole railway Drawing a cheque is the most pleasant in the way of draught work, and some of the laziest men are wil- ling to draw at poker all day. At a_boarding-house in Boston each boarder laid a rat-tailed file beside his plate, and on being asked for an explanation by the landlady, the spokesman answered, ‘We are dissatisfied, madam, with our portion of ancient steer, and our teeth having become dulled, we must succumb protest.” or file—our | THRUST. at, L understand you are going to vote for Blaine!” Emproyen—* Well, don’t you know that if Blaine is elected, Jay Gould and all the Pat—e If you thought so, you'd vote fur him yersilf.” | Intercepted Letter. Frrenp W ‘As you have not answered my last letter, I suppose that you are dead—but the spirit moves me to keep on writing as if you were | still in flesh. I have made my hands look like Herald \ war maps in the vain endeaver to secure a few unripe blackberries, and have dined on salt pork and stewed apples to such an alarm- ing extent that brine is actually dripping from mny corrugated brow, and young apple trees have commenced to sprout from my finger ends. I have talked ‘crops ” with our next door neighbor (about ten miuntes, across lots) with so much veneered vim and intuitive knowledge of weather reports and fancy farm- ing, that he has engaged me to remain away on a devilish small salary. I have fired myself out of bed at four in the morning to spot the rising sun, and gone back to the deserted feathers at five in the afternoon in the hopes of never seeing it rise again. I have written long and urgent letters to comicbooks.com