Judge — October 11, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WIKG WSS yy tity Z iy Hes VeppLen TO BANK PresipENt—* Ves sir; J yis got dish new stock of goods so ash to be up mit de dimes, me, and dees ish schplendid arms. my friends to come ontin order to view this beautiful summer resort for confirmed luna- tics, and thoughtfully neglected to state where I was unfortunately located. Credit for the invitation remains, though, I have procured a_ seventy-five pound watch dog--who watches faithfully every mouthful of fried doughnuts [ put in my mouth, and then st and thought- fully away and groans for dessert. T have built an air-tight do; around him to kee him up with tine. of iron codfish he shows unmistakable si and acts as if he was either going mad or to the happy hunting grounds. I have offered to sell him to any public minded countryman (who would like to obtain a bargain im dogilesh) but the kind of public minded country with don’t seem to live in the immediate vicinity Ih house a him together, and braced eof a thriple- terfield to every oping in an ac- breaste one passing, in hopes of s quaintance, but they continue to pass. Old euchre hands, I reckon. I have gone late at night to the village doctor—a dozen miles away (over the remains of bull-dogs) and reached his house in time to smell his fried pork at breakfast, and re- turned in time to find all hands well, and the doctor waiting for his pay I have made a putty-blower and fired at a mark for hours together, and yet the days seem long, and the nights longer. Thave gone hunting robins with the broom, and returned without the robins and with- out the broom. I have decorated the place with hanging | married my second wife's father.” nen that I want to negotiate | All de presidents batrinize I varents dem all, schure.” baskets, and then envied their superior The Charming Poke Bonnet. position, I have built grottos, and then wished I was under them. I have talked aloud to myself and growled because I had no better companion. I have loaned my books to those seeking knowledge on the installment plan, and had them returned without the covers, without the in nd without thanks. Thave looked longingly at the sky, wish- | ing it would rain, and then in the midst of an unusually wet shower fell on my knees and prased for it to clear off. I have rambled for hours through a rye field but was unable to conjure up any spirits, T have failed to convince my friends that [am really in the country, and am beginning to doubt that I exist. I have written to you again so that you may read it to the doubting Thomasses’ and send on their bodies by express. Please accompany their remains, and do your best to be in time to strew my lonely grave with Jadwin’s troches and the last new novels. Until that event takes place, I remain, Where I am, under protest E. S. Bispee. How much [admire the bewitchin, Which half hides t Why, Cupid, L know, hi e there upon Ce s tri lace ‘The style isn't new, for ou ke bonnet, roses that bloom in her facet his thro vealed in The charming poke bonnet that hides a sweet face; The ravishing bonnet, the exquisi pet Bewildering bonnet that shad The fair, shapely head is balf And part of the beautiful f How often I've kissed the lip The while the coarse fibres w Away with the hat with the feather upon Within my affection ‘twill ne'er vemethemull-trimmed, the a sweet face n within it, ypears— warm in it, weet face; The beautiful bonnet, the exquisite bonnet, Th ‘The heart-snaring bonnet that shades a hing bonnet that shades a sweet face —Smercille Journal, A good many children have been named after St. John—was named. P, S.—I ave finished. “I’m dog-gone-d if I can find him,” said a Fourth Avenue man, after an hour spent No Escape but Death. | in looking after a bull-pup. “Tsay, Sprat, I’m glad to hear you’re married again. It must be a relief to be out of the clutches of that mother-in-law.” “Yes, but your congratulations are not in order. I haven’t got rid of her.” «But I don’t understand you.” “It’s very plain, too plain. She has just | The Brightest of His Genius, tions I y specimen of “No, madam; in all my peregrir have never met a more widowhood than yourself.” “Pray, Mr. Fresh, what “A relic hunter, madam,” your business?” comicbooks.com