Judge — October 4, 1884 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. 5 ‘The Ham From “* BY “JER Jost s isa ham from * Hambu . dark as pitch, je of which Was tied the ham from * Hamburg ced voter tre, Who bail te tad in his view Upon that «mol rk as pitch, Where on a nail el the han from sie of which Hamburg.” This is the trap of finest stor), Which caught se That colored v Hamburg.” lenjoyed myself at the ball we gave on the | 17th instant. | Major General) arrived, and just fan | when the clock struck twelve he appeared | ambling in, with his eye-glasses etc., and ,orclaret cup?” It was also my duty to in- When thievingly one night he flew Unto the smoke-house. Upon w nail inside Was tied the ham from dark as piteb Hamburg.” This is the man w mie with w chub Out in the morn, druly The darkey ¢ Anil held see the heel Until his back was black and blue, Who bad in his view Upon that » . dark as piteh, Where on a nail inside of which Was tied the ham from Hamburg.” Miss Macnagh Attends a Ball. Dear Crana:—You want to know how [ | The invitations were sent out for nine o'clock sharp, and would you believe it, several people came to the moment. Was itnot too horrid? Then [ was taking out m. curl papers (I kept them in two whole to have the right sit) just as the wheels of the first riage crunched the gravel. If you could have seen me! The rain had got into the box which had brought my fine frock from Slasher © scarlet satin sewn with sced pearls—and spoiled it all. I sat down and cried, but was interrupted by the waiter’s voice outside my door. “Come down quick; Mrs. Wm. Me Comb, the bride, has come these ten minutes and wondering why you're not down! I gasped something, but my flutter, as you may imagine, only mereased. There were no shops within. mi white lace could not be replaced, but I seized an em- broidered towel and wound it round my rtisticall, To add to my misfortune, the geraniums, as I was pinning them on my dress, all fell to pieces, not having been gummed. Of course, I upologized humbly to the bride for being lat She wore her wedding dress, and was as cross as two sticks because she did not think she was looking well. Semebudy had said to me, ‘You must not sit down til the principal guest (a great old cee waited for him three mortal hours, and hoped he was in time. “For supper,” I might have said, but I swallowed my pique for, you know dear, the dream of my life was to givea ball. It’s wonderful how your ideas ran away when you have to say the same thing five hundred and forty times—** Will you take tea, ice-cream, treduce partners to each other, preserve me from doing it again. I would say, * allow me, Miss Sparker, to introduce Capt. Fiddle- thwaite to you,” adding sotlo sa to him, “You dance?” * Yes, but for pity sake give me one hour to recover myself.” ‘The young lady, abashed, had to sit down and gaze at her fan and dress (unpaid for) with which she hoped to make a conquest. ‘The floor was too much waxed, the falls were awful, but the final contre-femps was the supper. \tone o'clock, precisely, it was announced. I sent off my guests by rule, thinking they will all become more jolly and companionable. But oh! imagine my chag- grin! just as I had seized the General’sarm (as guest of the evening) the commencement of the file returned, saying supper was not ready, the door was shut in their faee. I tried ‘to be good-tempered, and after a terrible interval once more we ascended, and the same trag occurred, meanwhile the dancers had gone back to the ball-room, and “ took us half an hour, hurrying up our in from their fair allies. upin Supper, take in Mrs. Harvey.” ‘” Theard him mutter, ‘stout party, ered silk and lilies of the valley, bother!” and the face of the girl left in the lurch sour enough to turn milk, and this was only one of the many instances. I’m sure I looked hideous, my nose felt getting red, and as I surveyed the whole company standing opposite the food T heard some of the remarks. One young lady near- ly made me faint by asking her partner, ‘Don’t you hate stand-up suppers?” Another mooted the question, ** Do you feel like a cow when you are eating strawberry ice and whipped cream,” udding, * any cow would know this cream is turned.” The supper was to be paid for by the head, and one of the waitors stood at the door and counted all present double, so we have the plasurs of paying him twice over for the ball. The guests leftat 5:50 a, 4. All said it was perfect, but I, picking up a shred of muslin, a programme, and a faded flower, thought we had payed dearly enough for our whistle; Believe me, dear Clara, Your disappointed ANGELINA, V. S, Some of the dresses were awfully short, the fashionable ecru predominating. Plenty of shoulders were visible, economical to any extent. There were hundreds of white satin bodies, and balloon skirts to show the shoes embroidered in gold; crinoline seems on the increase, and will be soon as much worn as in the days of the beautiful Empress Eugenie. Chacun @ son gout, to my mind it is detestable. Grover's Groan. Ox Hudson's stormy banks I stand, And cast a wistful eye Toward that fair and happy land Where Washington doth lie. ! the transporting rapturous scene That rises in my sight! ‘The White House with its lawns s0 green, And fountains playing bright. Though hoping I shall reach that place, And be forever blest.— (The Presidential Chair to grace), I feel a vague unrest For Jimmy Blaine may pain my soul On next election day; And Hudson's waves with angry roll, May bear me, drowned, aw comicbooks.com