Judge — October 4, 1884 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. A Portrait. doubt you'll think it strange that she Id have so many striking features; Perhaps my parti Lends her such charms, that other creatures She may defy ity T find new beauties every day, In figure, face and conversation. A few I'll tell you—if L may— The rest your own imagination Must then supply Beginning at the top- purer gold than gol her tresses f self, With every breeze a curl care A cheek and brow that ne'er an elf Would dare disown For eyes she has two shooting stars, ‘That in their flight were stayed and ravished, Those dimples are the blind god's sears To spoil the charms that ha On her alone been lavished Her neck, you'd swear, was made of kid Her hands would ‘knock you out’ completely, And yet, they are entirely hid In gloves that fit a baby neatly; Just think of that! Her feet are so extremely small That they are hardly worth the mention, And how she ever walks at all Is past the bounds of my invention— It knocks me flat Her speech in equal parts st With wit and wi By sighs that take me una And pierce my bosom, lacerated By herd But wounds like these she quickly cures, I know they’re only made to ‘And my opinion’s I'm sure she no whit more could please me If she were twins! me. yours?) Pree Mrs. Madison's A-wake-ning. Mr. and Mrs, Madison are the owners of a brown-stone mansion, situated in this city on an avenue that bears their family name. Mrs. Madison is a lady of wealth ‘and re- finement, and her house is farnished ex- pensively as well as wsthetically. When she and Mr. M. started out on their summer campaign last July, she remarked to her husband that it was worth everything to have an old and trusted servant like Marguret, to leave in charge of their abode. Margaret was so reliable and so conscientious that Mrs. M. left nearly all her house-hold adorn- | ments in their ustial place, only covering up the furniture, carpets, etc. Now it happened that Mr. Madison was unexpectedly called to the city in the latter part of August, and Mrs. Madison concluded she would accompany him, and see how old Margaret and the house were getting along. The train the travelers came on was delayed several hours by some break in the machin- | ery, and when they drove up in front of their door, Mrs, M’s chatelaine watch-handa | pointed to the witching hour of midnight. | Great was their surprise to find the house | ablaze with lights, but Mr. Madison had his latch key with him, and entered quite noise- | lessly, Mra. M. creeping timidly behind | him. . As they opened the hall door, they found | the house filled with tobacco smoke and the odor of vile whiskey, and from the region | whimpering and tr IN POWER AND OUT. Two pages from the life of Reformer " Schurz. 1.— 1876. Debasing the high office of Secretary of the Interior, and driving poor settlers from their homes, in the interest of the Northern Pacific Railroad Company. of the dining room extension came a soun:! of revelry by night. Not exactly revelry Jeither, but a crooning and murmuring of mixed voices. Mr. Madison left open the outside door, for fresh air, and Mrs. Madison held her husband’s coat-tails, and pressed her handkerchief to her nose, as he made his way to the parlor door. On entering the room he grasped the situation and a heavy chair at one and the same time. It took Mrs. M. longer to realize what it all meant, but when once she discovered that the long object with all the candles and the people around it in the back parlor, was a corpse, she, with customary promptitude, fainted away. Not so Mr. Madison; wielding aloft the plush antique chair, he dashed among the mourners with such alacrity, that they quic ly dispersed, some of them shooting out of the front door, others jumping from the back windows, or scampering down the basement stairs, In less time than it takes to tell it, the gentleman of the house found himself alone in the presence of a corpse, an unconscious wife, and the faithful servant who was ing to hide behind an Our hero was by this racted, but before he ran to easel in the corne time half di and rang for the police. | Atleast, that was what he intended to ring | for, but in his excitement he rang too many , | one brief period. | pick up his wife, he flew to the alarm bell, | na ys. pen times and the first arrival was the fire brigade. Finally, about the time Mrs. Madison resumed consciousness, the police appeared, and in- formed Mr. Madison that the corpse could not be taken away that night. The faithful servant was dragged from her hiding place, and finally confixsed that she had taken ad- vantage of her mistress’s parlors to hold a first class wake over the remains of her second cousin once removed.” Mr, and Mrs. Madison betook themselves to “The Windsor” for the remainder of the night, leaving the police in charge of the corpse and of the house until morning. The faithful Margaret went when the dead man did, and Mrs. Madison is still at work superintending rep on her premises. Not until the parlors had been thoroughly renovated, and some of the furniture re- upholstered, did the vile smell of whiskey and tobacco disappe: ‘The best china and cut glass are a total wreck. Candle-grease has nearly destroyed the largest ‘Turkish rug, and even the sleeping rooms were in a state of confusion and disorder. Mrs. Madison hopes she may never again 3 on the reliable and ‘conscientious Margaret. Mr. Madison, on the contrary, wishes he could get her inside the house for He says, if he ever does find her, he’ll send for Boucicault, and give him a few new points for the wake-scene in “The Shaughran.” comicbooks.com