Judge — October 4, 1884 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. “Gypste, entering put de fare in de bor the children’s rooms and beds are kept thor- oughly aired. [may be wrong, but I do be- lieve if a child's bed on really damp, it can never be properly aired again. Th children all send hugs to ‘Aunt ‘Tabby. Coney is ont or would send kind regards with mine. Believe me, dear Tabith Your Sincere Friend, CLemestina Coney Wannen.” So I go every morning and sec if the little Warren's beds are aired, and wonder if there are many mothers in the world like theire, and whether, if I had ever been a mother, I shoul: have been such a one. Perhaps it is as well [ never was tried. This I know, that whether the result was good or bad, my mother adopted a very different system in the bringing up f her family, and [ often feel thankful tnat flannel and physic were left out of the childhood and youth of her daughter, Ir is almost as dangerous to kindle your thoughts with the help of whiskey kindle the kitchen fire with the assistance of kerosene.—Boston Transcript. AN old doctor said that people who were prompt in their payments always recovered from their sickness, as they were good customers and physicians could not afford to lose them.— “Tow are you coming on old boy?” “Bad. I've got a fearful headache, and an awful taste in my mouth, Don’t you know some remedy for the misery I'm sufferin from this morning?” “Y good cure for it. Don’t get drunk last night.”—Tezas Siftings. Tabitna Tourxiys. | I know a) av ur (to up-town dude)— Bless you, sir; blease hold dat baby *till I At Manhattan Beach. ‘Tuy drink their beer, \ ie bear Fron Her hand be y And lon In ways you ui ilmore’s awful band, sed carressed lerstand; She softly pat Her little foot on bis low cut shoe,— Perhaps to prove t her love She wore a Number Two. A happy thought The fellow ¢ He'd do it in return; But when he did, i— He'd squeezed her favorite corn. She yelled and s! Every fashionable girl lobster on her b: t, and the Lowell Citszen man, wha has evidently had some experience, says that it is the most comfortable way to wear a lobster. —Philadelphia Call. wears a small PLay-Gork (coming late)—Are there any seats left? Ticket-seller (offering diagram)—Oh, yes; er-goer (handing out thirty-five cents) —Thanks. ss I'll take an admission. — Boston Glob Berore ua French Police President. You here again as usual!” The accused—*‘ Mv President, itia all the fault of mydoctor. That eminet man_was consulted by me, and in order to the chol warned me that I mast not change my way of living. —Life (Lon- don.) Conrt—The d for theft | fence, and succulent gun lumber Our Bob on Mules. Tue mule is one of nature's ’arf-n-’arf productions; but he’s thoroughly mule for all that, If I had an African cook, of the female order, that ** kicked ” when I went into the kitchen, I'd set a mulatreand have a kicking match to umpire. This may seem to be a hybrid joke, but I can’t help it with the material at hand, mule and mu/atre being both hybrids. The mule never laughs like the Hyena does, but weeps instead, I've seen lots of mu The mule would su politician, being a good ** can pull wire as well as ¢: wouldn’t be any doubt of his suc I think. When you see a mule * buck,” buy him if you like Venision—he would be dear at any ceed, » mule has lots of judge so from bray ‘n qualities. It is in Brazil he brays illtuned melodies the loudest; yet Brazelwood not renounce the mule. The hick in a mule, and that of a Tammany politician left out in the cold, is about the «ame to the square inch, The mulet whatever they gave him in the Ark and hasn't grown fastidious already. During the war he thrived on jaicy Virginia washed nells” to brain matter—I down with shells, he prefering or coffee. he mule never surrenders and never dies. [can find a thousand men who never saw a mule die—I'll bet there's millions that never saw a mule die; and this ought to settle it. Don’t larrup a mule when be stops on the way. Use moral ’suasion and things such as an old boot, or other toothsome morsel, for him to chew upon, and you can be happy with the mule. ‘The tale of the mule is not a thing of beauty every muleot to know, It’s a xd enough tail for a mule though, and with it ends this tale of a mule, OBERT THE DEVIL. It was probably marked, * are hour: procrastinator who re- Lhavé met the enemy and they — Washington Hatchet. PatiENtT—Doctor, I want you to prescribe Doctor (after feeling of her pulse) ¢ is nothing the matter, madame. All you need is rest. Patient—Now aren't you mistaken, Doctor? Please study my case carefully. Just look at my ton Doctor— That needs rest, too.—£z. “So hot water is a great cure, is it? Well, I shan’t let any of my boarders get sick for want of that medicine. Just put another gallon of hot water in that oyster soup, Maria, and I guess you had better take out that ovster now—it might be too rich.” —Unidentified Exchange. What a Mississippi Pilot Says. Carr. D. M. Rigas, who is well khown at New Orleans and along the Mississippi river, s:ys ‘I have been suffering from if pepsin for the past five years, and from broken rest by severe pains in the bowels and kidneys. I tried every medicine recommended for these diseases, without success. At last 1 used a bottle of Brown’s Iron Bitters, which proved a perfect success in my caso.” Ii cures ull liver, kidney and malarial diseases. comicbooks.com