Judge — September 27, 1884 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Did it hurt the hat? It did not hurt the bat ‘The hat had a stone under it. is Uncle Sammy putt If he don’t; another patel Can you sce the other patches? hoop on his barrel? will have to put JUDGE'S” Will the Indian get g scalp on this year's warpath? No, the Indian will get a s all, braiuless seal} ‘This is the bachelor and the baby. Does the bachelor like the baby No, the bachelor doce not like the baby. POLITICAL PRIMMER. Will Benny catch ms He will eateh a few What kind of fish will he catch? He will catch a few disgusted Democratic fish Can you sce the two mei One man is filled with hay; ‘The other man is filled with wind, This is a great Independent “rally.” Mrs. Grubb at “Sarytogy” Mr. and Mr. Grubb have been married twe' Vaeir wedding anniversary took plice about two wecks ago, and Mrs, Grubb determine] to celebrate the event in | some She turned the subject over in her mind for \ lly informed her meck and humble partner, that she in- tended tak upon airth be * there for?” said aid she. “It’s nigh onto twenty years since old Domini Bartlett jined us two together in the holy bonds of matrimony, and I've Wa digging and a | ever since,” | said he. ‘I don’t sce what that’s got to do with you going to| Sarytogy.” “Weil, it's got a good deal to do with it,” | 1 she, ‘and you needn't say nothing Tam going to celebrate our nuptials, as it were, by taking a trip some- where and I've elected that Sarytogy will suit me best, We've got enough of money laid by to last a few days there anyway, and I'm agoing to see what rich folks look like, What | 2 and to drink some of the couling waters from | the springs.” | And the energetic farmer's wife had her way and to Saratoga they went, ‘The big hotels and the head waiters didn’t scare her one bit, but “Gilbert.” as she expressed it, “*went around lookin’ someachin that she was ashemed of him.” The hotel bills and the extras soon made big hole in her little pile of savings, and in two days time she was ready to retarn to her native heath, Atalmost the last minute she discovered that she had only tasted the | waters from one spring, In her anxiety to see all the Banervilts and other notables she forgot abont the ‘cooling waters,” an‘ so | she and Gilbert made a round of all the | springs and Mrs Grubb, like the thorough gving woman she was, took a copious draught | from each in succession. Gilbert could not be coaxed or bullied into drinking water that tasted ** forall the world like rotten eggs” and it was weil that for once in his life he had the moral courage to disobey his wife. The effect of all these | doses on Mrs.Grubb was what anybody but | the parties most interested might have expec- ted, and the misery the poor woman suffered ull the way home was beyord description. Gilbert drove her home from the etation in a lumber wagon that seemed to shake all the waters together again, and a sigh of relief esca) e] her when she found hereelf once more on her own feather bed. In a few days she wus uble to be up and about the house, but when the neighbors inquireabout their jour- ney, Mrs. Grubb turns white about her mouth, and can not be induced to converse on the subject at all, Gilbert, on the contrary, is always cloquent, and feels big to think he can out-talk his wife on one topic at least, hut when in the cource of his nura- tions he inadvertently mentions the eprings, Mra. Grubb squelches him by saying ** shut up your head, Gilbert, and don’t talk like » fool.” waspanica COTTER. Wuen the tax layer is a hard lot the tax- payer's lot is hard. (The N. Y. Tux-payer's lot is hard, beczuse tne N. Y. Aldermen are a hard lot.) “Tne attitude of the Independents is critical.” | More than eritical—it is hyper- critical. Lee eel ==" comicbooks.com