Judge — September 27, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Mutually Mistaken. Sur, stood upon That e And oft the Appeared 1 conducter u her face. cs were large und dreamy, len was her hair; Her crimson clocks were creamy And he was—passing fare. she leaned that morning Against the sliding de And. She eyed the sitters ull their glances there she » Was busily collecti th industry 1n his private pocket dimes he slipped that morn, And listless from each socket “Why de The modest mai While, fumbling He muttered, “1 jen thou ht, cash n ildly, m His stan ‘The mai And witha She sought the outer air. became so ri Why did her face burn hotter And why was he not cool? He took ber for She th a spotter— ught he was a foc n Gazette, Patriotism. Bartnotrowew Lagsox, an old well known in Arkansaw polities, v his oninion of the presidential campaign. “ Wall, sah,” said he, “ I’se thought ’bout dis matter er good ‘eal, an’ I is now forced ter de ‘clusion dat. somebody’s gwine ter get leat. It didnt look dis way at fust, but ez de campaign hab den pergressin’, dis fack hab come er trottin’ erlong, keepin’ right up wid de udder features 0’ de race.” “What do you think of Blaine?” “He's er mighty fine man, sah, de bes? man whut de ’publicans cou'der put up. ats er mighty fine head roun’ wid negro asked What do you think of Cleveland?” “ Well, san, he’s a monstrous fine man, do ’ one whut de demmercrats coulder put ‘Toats suthin’ mighty solid on his shoul- ders * Which do you think will be elected?” 2. heah, you needn't say dat I'se mentioned de subjeck, an’ gin de thing er- way, but dat’s de leadin’ pint inde whole thing.” “ Of course it is.” “Dat's whut I an’ one dat ain't ineter be settled sometime airter de “lection.” “Which one of the candidates is your choice?” *Sh-e-e, doan’ open yer mouf that way ergin. I’se got my eye on er post-office down hvah in de country. Jes’ tell me de man whut woul’ be de mos’ sp’ ter gin me de ofic 1’ I'll tell yer which one I’se fur.”— Arkansaw “ aveler. ow, It’s a leadin’ pint, till Tue hay fever snfferer is devout a individ- ual, becanse he is continually on his sneeze. — Whitehall- Timea. Very Probable. Mrs. poem!” Mr. Blank—* What is it!” “Ella Wheeler has written called “The story of an Overcoat.” der w it can be about?” was married recently, Brang—* What a funny title for a something | Won: he wasn’t she?” “Yea,” Then I suppose it must be a domestic tragedy.” “Why?” he probably traded the overcoat. of | for a plaster image.”— Philadelphia Call. At the Opera. Tuey were at the French ope nd as they seated themselves he remarked impa- tiently: ‘There! int” Oh, well,” said his wife soothingly, will get along nicely without it. “ Nonsence,” he replied. “1 will have an opera glass if I have to rent one.” “You didn’t muke such a fu pout for- getting the glass when we went to see Henry Irving in Hamlet,” she remarked, a little sternly, “Tknow didn’t, but Hamlet anda French opera are very different things. You don’t gine that a man cav appreciate fine—er music with out an ‘opera 3 do —Drak Ihave forgotten the opera glass we —e you Travelers’ Magazine. Hurt His Good Name. “Yer mout offer me er hundred dollars ter vote fua yer in de conwention an’ it wouldn’ hab ho ’fluence wid me,” said an old negro in reply toa candidate who had asked for his support. “Oh, I wouldn't offer you money,” re- joined the candidate. ** I believe in conduct- ing a campaign fairly and squ Cor- ruption in office-seeking has cast. a dark cloud. over our institutions I wouldn't think of offering you a hundred dollars. 1 haven’t that amonnt of money, anyway.” “Yer ain't? Well, den, dar ain’t no usen talkin’ ter me. How much is yer got, nolov?” “T've got five dollars.” “Uh, huh, no usen ain’t gwine ter sell m man. “Of course not.” “Look heah, whut you gwine ter do wid dat five dollars? “Tl make good use of it.” “Teah, lemme hab it. Dem folks thinks da’ I’se dun sold out, I ‘clare ter goodness, white man, it hurts er pusson’s good nume ter be seed er talkin ter yer.”—aArkansaw Traveler. kin’ ter me. I f ter no white “T say there!” exclaimed a wayfarer. addressing the only person in the sample room he hud just entered; ‘I say there, are | you the bartender?” ‘No I ain't,” replied the other; “no tender about me. I'm a saloon tough, I am.”—Joston Transcript. “The play's the thing, Wherein I'll reach the conscience of the kin, And equally true is it that Dr. Pierce’s “Pleasant Pargative Pellets” (the original | Little Liver Pills) are the most effectua means that can be used to reach the seat of disease, cleansing the bowels and system, and assisting nature in her recuperative work. By druggists. | tuckians 13 ‘he don’t know beans,” ipplied to a Bostonian. —Somer- Journal. THe expr is neve ville Sr. Jouy isa with Dr. Mary Walke 1 this can be true. —ar/ford Post- Wires a man intends to publish a journal in France one of the first things he does is to tuke fencing | Is crime as in horse-racing, the fast ones come under the string first, 1f the judges do their duty.—Merchant Trave Tue man who always speaks what is mp- permost in his mind should remember that the froth is alw at the top.—Boston Transcript. Kate Frecp says she would rather bea hired girl than the wife of a Mormon. Bat Kate always did want everything her own way.—Boston Post. A Kisestow girl jumped twelve fect in her sleep, recently. She probably dreamed that some one was proposing to her.—Lur- lington Free Press. Tuts is indeed a world of change. don’t believe it, count the number of dr the women wear in one short day at the side.— Boston Transcript, “Well, I declare,” wanted tu use that over for it. Much obliged, Pittsburg Chronicle Telgraph. Ifyou said the landlord, ‘1 nd hunted all stranger.” An Oakland cat succcedcd in partial ing the breath of an in had * wind on the sta grateful to the feline. oston Globe. At the rate they are slaughtering wood- chueks in New Hampshire for the bounty aveler won't. find re lamb on the bill of fare much long ton Post. st spring .— bos: Apvices from did g Louisville state that rain eat damages last Friday. The Ken- fust learning that there is some- thing else besides corn juice to swear by.— Brovklyn Times. “ Lanpiorp!” cried an irritated traveler, who had Leen cating dried apple pie at a railroad lunch house, as he held one hand to lus shattered jaw und produced a gimlet with the othe ‘look at this confounded gimlet I’ve found in your pie and broke half the teeth in my head out ou?” A Moral Paper. Aw editor deserves credit for attempting to keep up the moral tone of his paper. A man enters a newspaper offiice and hands to. acomunication. ‘The editor, after “lt tga. A paper that would publish such stuff is not fit for the household. We are pablishing a family paper.” “Well, Im gory, I wanted to see th ‘8 in print. Tl sign my name to it.” “That makes no difference, for the read- ing matter would be just ns obscene.” “Say, pat it in and I'll pay for it.” “‘In that event it can go. Let's see. | Cost you about ten dollare.”—Arkansaw Travelar. comicbooks.com