Judge — September 27, 1884 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THAT “OLD MOTHER Cocytrywax—-( know it is purty luk in the HUBBARD.” city, but T think thim city wimmin ought to have more modesty than to walk the streets in their night clothes.” ments, I need not say they both cam both saw, they were both conquered. became Orinoco’s object in life; Orinoco t came E, . They were solemnly t in the presence of good Mr. Saveall; muzh Orinoco would not hear of an immediate marriage, they went in for a re good time that winter, and they had it. Orin sorrow was dead enough now, She was as lively as a cricket and as happy as a bird. What could weary of life when she had diamonds like Or-noe: I did not see much of her dur that winter, tll she came one day and told me that she and Ernest had parted for e' nd that she wouhl nov happy no, never! never! never! She utterly declined to give me any particulars about their quarrel, what- ever it was, only saying he was the basest of | me nd I fearet it was a bad case, as she | sitively refused to try Mr. Saveall again. | However, she n provided herself with new adm a Mr, Barton, astout widower, with four small children, — It i tiful to sce how mothe she bec 5 She would take * Baby” the length of the day, and play ** Puss in the corner” with the little dears, and hold their Papa’s hand ‘vhile they danced round the gooseberry bush. She wou'd pull off their little shoes to feel whether their feet were damp, and stuff them | with unlimited candy. It is as well that old m: for the little Bartons were more than often left in my charge. When Orinoco and Mr. | Barton went ont, and when their nurse got the smallpox, I had to take the whole four in and grapple with them single-handed, as one of the feelings that Orinoco and Mr. Barton had in common was a morbid dread of smallpox. However, the children did not take it, and Orinoco soon broke off with Mr. Barton, and the children were removed. I confess I was not sorry, as I found them harder to manage than any children I had ever had to deal with, and I felt sure as long as the Barton star was in the ascendant ' nes 3 love children, | | that Orinoco would expect to act as head nurse to the small fry. Her next lover, fortunately for me, was a summer lover, and she met him at the sea- sid I managed to evade an introduction. There were a few others who followed each other in rapid n. ‘The present one is a favorite of mine, being ook humored and not his predecessors. He is quite satistied to conduct bis affairs in my little morning room, and I think, perhaps, if nothing better turns up, Orinoco will really marty him within the year. If that were so, she might, perhaps, escape the annual attack of blighted affection which she has suffered from so much. since she and I met. If she were thoroughly cured, it would save aworld of trouble and worry to a sympa- thetic old friend. Tanitna Tours: Practical Politics, “T wave the only book in America, Stephen,” remarked “Mr. Tilden, softly, “that can offset Mr. Blaine’s book as a cam- paign document. Mine is a pocket book, and,” he added more softly still, **it 18 go- ing to remain one.” And he buttoned his pocket so slowly, and so closely, and with such scrupulous atten- tion to every button, that Stephen Grover felt a cold chill wander up and down his back. ‘So that’s the kind of a reformer you are,” he sail bitterly. “Oh, no,” the old man replied, kindly, but with an air of pleasant coolness, ‘1 am not a reformer. Lama performer. Re—a thing; hence reformer, one who fixes things. Per—through; hence’ performer, one who has got through fixing things. See, Stephen?” And Stephen thought he could, as through asmoked glass, darkly.—Hawkeye. | on blue bandan A Card. Rivenstoe Pang, Aug. 20, 1884. To the Dear Publi As my veracity has been questioned, I take this means of ‘informing you that I am the only e : G. W., senior’s hatchet.’ iginal, to- gether with his last will and testament, is on | exhibition at the following first-class reliable firms Moses Dusseldorf & Co., No. 972 Dougy Street, the only strictly gentile pawnbroker in this state or another. atchem & Skinem, Back Avenue, largest goods house in the borough. Speciality pocket-handkerchiefs, of ull colors; fits guarantee Michael Mi Dermott, (rear basement), ¢ what he cannot steal, he can’t get on credit. Note. Mrs. Me. will manage the business until Michael gets out of jail. Coffee & Spice, No. 3 Centre street, full of family groceries at prices to defy com- petition; Cash paid for sugar, sand on the sly. John B. Jockey, jr., Alley at rear of River street. Persons having glandered horses to dispose of are recommended to put them in his ch Toot an nail over the bank Dentist and Chiropodist. False teeth inserted without pain, and warranted not toache fora year. I have many moro G. W., senior’s hatchets and last wills and testaments, but some narrow-minded, un— patrotic merchants refuse to appropriate their show windows to exhibiting it. take this means of denouncing them as frauds, and in every way unreliable, But wherever you see G. W. senior’s hatchet and lust will and testament exhibited, go in and spend your money with confidence. Some of them can lie, but won't, Last will and testament of G. W Know all men and women by those present that 1, G. W., eenior, being in sound mind and feeble body, do make this my last and only will and testament irst, I will that all my creditors shall be aid, if they can get it; second, I will to my dearly beloved, much esteemed, honest, industrious, efficient and distinguished- looking favorite namesake, Geo, Washington Gay, of Riverside Park, my little hatchet, which please find enclosed. Witness my handwriting, W., senior. Done’ at the City of w ‘chit State of Kansas, this 16th d. A st, 1884. and in the Independence of the U. the 107th, Rivenstor Pauw, Aug. 2 Messrs. Moses Dusseldorf & Co. pawnbrokers & Co.) Gexts.—Yours of the 18th asking for another G. W. senior’s hatchets, as the ono you had floated away on the flood, is at hand. Jt is too gauzy. Ihave heard of cats and dogs finding their way back to the land of their birth, but that hatchet was too heavy to float back to Michael McDermott’s junk shop, where it was originally purchased, without assistance. Ever Geo, WasHInGTon Gay. dry G7 Wichita Avenue reliable junk shop, buys and pays cash for what senior. , 1884 (Gentile Woo ever heard of an umpire who wasn’t a base bawler?—St. Paul Herald. Youtn.—You you aro in love with two girls, both t ntiful, one ‘divinely tall” and the other “+a perfect little fairy.” Marry the little one. She won't need so much stuff for a dress.—Philadelphia Call. comicbooks.com