Judge — July 12, 1884 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

One of the Fiends. Tle: first appeared in a tobacco store on Michigan avenue, Ie had something rolled up in tin foil, and he carefully: placed it on the counter and asked: Do you ever have any use for dyna- mite?” Dynamit ! Take the infernal thing away!” shouted the todacconist, as he jumped back,“ What on earth’ are you carrying the stuff Here —have a smoke I don’t ant any fooli ound this wiy nd take it awa gz around my store. The man lighted his cigar down the street and went into a when he had placed his little pack: bar observed: “L's just as safe a know how to hat “Whi they call dynamite? ‘The man grinned. “Now you get out of this pose to have my Pon the sugar as long as you ty, isn’t that the stuff I don’t pro- head blown off to humor your nonse Mere—come up to this end of the t id have a glass of beer, and then you pick up that stuff powerful careful and tip-toe out.” Down at the corner bought him off in the same w next block a grocer who w ther saloonist and on the ked to take the state agency turned as white as new pro- cess flour, and his very first jump measured The dynamite man asked him nd he stood in k: eight feet. how he sold plug t the alley door and calle : “If you want a plug cut it off and get out o’ thi When I get ready to e here 1 want to move in the regular w He was trying his persuader on another saloonist when w policeman overhauled him and sternly demanded the package. “There itis, and you can take your chances,” replied the man, as he placed the affur ona chair and walked out doors, It was five minutes before the officer picked it up, and then was all alone in the place. He phieed it on the bar, carefully removed the wrapping and when he reacheil the compound itself he stuck up his nose and walked out and pursued his way. It was a cake of compressed yeast.—Detroit Free Press. Never too Late to Take. Jnst after the had suspended, the ling on the steps when asked: * sadly replied the president. any more money out, I sup- No. “Well, I didnt want to draw any ont. Thought that ifthe bank wasn’t too far gone I would make a deposit.” * Certainly, sir, certainly” unlocking the door. Step right in and Ican accommodate you.—Arkansas Traveler. Ox of the pleasantest ways to reach Coney Island this her is to take one of the boats of the Y. and Sea Beach R. R. Co., and, after having been cooled by a de- lightful sail on the bay, to get into one of the company’s elegant cars and be whirled away into fresh air and invigorating breezes. Try it the nest hot day. “Tis shooting business don’t pay,” ex- claims « wife-murderer. They usually drop to the fact when it is too late,—Sostun Globe. (The Rev. Mr. Smythers has been told that it is the custom to humor the fancies of the inmates in the lunati Isaate—" Grant's murder at Chicago was a very sad affair, wasn’t it?” Mn, S.—* Ves, indeed ; very.” INMate— Mayes wus assassinated at Cincinnati, was he not?’ Mrs. $ «And was not Queen Victoria murdered in her palace?” —* 1 believe so.” “Well, your dress looks like that of a minister, but your'e the worst liar 1 ever talked with.” Worse than Dynamite. “These dynamite explosions over in Eng- land,” said the sleeping-car conductor, “ re- mind me of an old woman and her jug of yeast. She got on ata small station ont be- yond Steubenville, carrving a gallon jug in her hand, which she told me contained a fine quality of home-made yeast. It was well-corked and tied, and the old lady car- ried it to her berth with her, taking as much care of it as if it had been ababy. An hour or 0 later, when everybody’ was asleep, there was the most tremendous explosion ever heard in a sleeping-cur, and ull the ighbors of th ower bath of the frothy stuff from the shattered jug. It was dark and they thought they were cov- ered with their own bloc Such screaming you never heard, and the old woman her- self wasthe most frightened of the lot. The ng of the car had made the yeast livelier than dynamite, and an extra heavy larch had set it off. he bed-clothes of four sections had to be changed.” | sideways, aud sink pe Pronunciation. eorge,”’ said a south side girl to her beau the other night, ** here's a piece in the paper headed Kismet. What does Kismet mean?” “<The word must be pronounced with the “t’ silent, Nettie,” replied George. “Why, that would be ‘Kiss me,’” said Nettie. © “With the greatest pleasure,” replied George. And he did.—Oil City Derrick. “<Tlow will my love come back to me?” inquires a fair poet of the western lands, Well, if he’s been to. the lodge, or sitting up with a very ejck friend, he will probably come back at 2 A. M., informing the neighbors that he “wogomet’ mornin,” after which he will endeavor to pry open the front door with a toothpick, crawl up-st cefully to rest: with his boots on the pillow shams, aud his head in his hat. comicbooks.com