Judge — June 28, 1884 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Domestic Happiness. Tue married man has m advantages over his brethren who advocate c y still he is not exempt from some very disa- grecable annoyances. After business hours he returns home to be greeted ra by his loving wife and crowing baby, and | finds to the joy of his heart that his coming has been anticipated with all sorts of agree- able surprises for him, His wife has studied naught but to please him: his slippers and meerschaum in readiness at the fireside, and while he is seeking the softest spot in the cushions to recline upon, she tells Nici chow od baby has been all day, what cute things it ha dand d nd asks him to feel the new tooth it has cut just five minutes ago: which reminds her of the and while gracefully arranging tl nd the baby ertain- can’t 1 n« that Mrs. Smith had a new bonnet and Mrs. Jones a new baby, and, by the way, ¢ mt look awfully sweet, seventeen dollars for loves of bonnets! they’re ju anything!—and baby ty some new bibs ribbons, sashes, shoes, have such lovely exquisite embroi—oh? and the they’re just fo0-too! I’m sure, Geo that’s a dear, you want baby to look distingw don’t you, d plumber man was here—such a muss! baby got to the paint- pot and I had to use benzine to remove the paint from its little y, hone wip: little nose y the fell into the well. in for something to him to chop some kindling, he said he was = not on the chop excapta metlon: hop to-day THEIR SUMMER VACATION. ‘The doctor was to see Mrs, Ferguson and Wire (in alarm)—** Great heavens! I've mislaid that little tie I always wear with said she wa: cing, and the boy is | ¢his dress, and 1 know it’s in some of these trunks, now do hurry and find it for me, doing well, and I think he looks just like | for /’m so afraid we'll miss that boat!” ° John, and he said to me when [ mentioned neuralgia that—now deary, your mustache | can’t afford to buy a new one just now, peaches. with your shaving-knife, but it wful sweet!—what do you think he sai sid with ten yards of broke, so I sent it to the blacksmiths ucan’t guess! Well, he told me the same | silk at two-ten a yard she can mend ittolera- | have it sharpened again, but he sai thing he told Mrs. Ellis—you know, darling, | bly respectably, so I sent to O'Dacy’s for the | not fixed for filing saws. What did he m she and the baby went to the seashore—don’t | material, the new buttons come ‘to eleven | deary? But [ forgot to tell you! just thin you think baby needs some—I mean—it I want to be saving, ‘cause, you know, it’s awful! Maria——” . ought to inhale some of those sanative sea- y ir. She says she can But the man blessed with domestic happi- breezes? The hotel rates are so low, only | make it by Friday noon so I can get it to ness rushes frantically from the room, down ay and, remember Lasy goes | make the seven P.M. train, she’s real kind, | the street, and around the corner where they ! Mrs, Wilson starts | isn't she? and she’s goifig to charge me only | dispens rts of liquid refreshments. next Friday, and we are such intimate | seventeen-dollars for making it. Sister Groncr. Dean. friends and it would be nt to go to- | Susie dropped in as she was going to old : oer ‘ gether. Now, deary, + baby needs | Clipperton’s funeral; she said that Mamie | ,Wio was that hero of the “ Antique some sea-air, and I'm sure Lam wi Clipperton looked real nice in mourning, and | W t knew how to win battles, but sacrifice a little comfort and undergo the | now she can marry Johnnie Fitzgibbons. | Was too stupid to play the fiddle? Well annoyance of Fr the sea-shore for | Frank Armstrong and Fannie Mills went | hever mind,—there was one Cromwell by the sake of baby th, our little, teasy. | out on the bay ina skiff last evening; he’s | me, a pretty successful warrior ; but when zy, geezy, sneezy, til-lil-lily-lee. ‘The | sweet on her, you know, and old Deacon | he undertook to drive a coach and six he girl spilled the mustard into your shaving- | Merriman says he fell in love and the river ne near breaking his neck. There was mug, and little doggy bow-wow tore up the | at the same time; the boat capsized and ; bible and your swallow-tail coat; justthink, | Fannie was picked up byatug, ‘To-morrow | talent for thrashing Austrians, Peter ‘on proposed to Sallie Snicker- | the Methodist Bible Class has an excursion | 2nd others, but when he undertook to teach son and now old Deacon Merriman wants to | to Rockaway Beach, and Mrs. Dalrimple | his Josephine how to turn a slapj know how two sons can marry one another! | asked me whether we were going. I told | Was itan omelet ? he spoilt the breakfast, ne? ‘The parson was here with | her I supposed so, and so I got four chickens burnt his fingers, and got mad. A later on collecting things for the flood- | and other things ready. ‘I go, won't | than Cromwell and Buonaparte brought to nd I gave him your opera-hat | we, deary? ‘The tickets are only six dollars | terms of surrender rather better fighting pair of my old rubbers, poor things! | a couple; I'm sure you need a fittle recrea- | men than the Old Guard and the Ironsides and when Mrs.” Jims, horrid thing, saw | tion, staying in your office allday long! The | ever encountered ; but when he undertook the shoes, next thing she did she called over | boat leaves at 3:30, What shall I” wear, | to fly a kite—— to Mrs. Williams’ and said that I was: | dear? my pink lawn, or would you like my =< giving something approp! landscape-pattern cheese-cloth, with parasol |“ Money still tight?” —Yes, was on a bust ers needed skills the ch? In case you wanted that, I sent | lately, or as our Pennsylvania Dutch friends mean, isn’t she? My silk dre: ry down-town to the milliner’s to get | would say, on a rausch. so I sent it to the dre: some ribbons to harmonize. I guess she'll be —— mended—we must be economical, you know; | here soon, She tried toZopen a TRAVELERS change guineas not characters. comicbooks.com