Judge — June 7, 1884 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AND AKL ormn MORN ING Cuz ch all Neow, I yt but none on Me RTY From THE Country—“ and a like lo take some pay from Jupiter, or Saturn, or ing him that the Dutch had taken Holland, and to come home as soon as possible. My dispatch had the desired effect, for he came flying up town to see what was the matter, and I then learned that the chief of our distinguished visitors was my husband’s mother’s cousin, that he owned a farm in Massachusetts, and that although his name was Ephraim Huggins he was always called Deacon for short. His wife was Aunt Maria to everybody, and the girls were respectively Martha and Ann Eliza. Christophorus gave them a hearty welcome, and exerted himself to be agreeable. When I say that we treated them well and treated them often, I put it very mild, for they staid with us just ten days and ten nights, and if there was any sight or show they didn’t take in, I should like to know what it was. We toted them all to the theatre four times, took them driving to the Park twice. Went over Brooklyn Bridge with them, and Heaven knows what else we did for them. I loaned the girls my bonnets aud mantles for their's looked shabby and outlandish. I trimmed some summer hats for them to take home with them, and in return they spilt shoe blacking over my crazy quilt, and the yy yy say, lady, U'm just goin’ back to Bungtown that list suit. “I'd like to read a little news ‘ars, or some of them foreign parts.” Deacon took a nap one day on my antique lace and satin bedspread. But this was nothing to what he did the second day after his arrival. Without so much as saying, by your leave, he inserted an advertisement in a morning paper, stating that a few boarders could be accomodated at a farm house in Massachusetts, and that the proprietor could be seen at such a number such a street, giving, if you will believe me, our own pri ‘ate address, People kept coming all the next da: the janitor and the elev ‘The pretty little parlor was monopolized by the entire Huggins family, who interviewed all comers, agents, applicants for board, and for all I know, sneak thieves and_pick- pockets, within its precious walls. I never suffered as I did that day, assure you, but I consoled myself with the thought that ‘‘ twelve o’clock must come,” and it finally did. Christophorus was s0 annoyed that I didn’t complain much, but I can tell you I breathed more than one sigh of relief, when I saw the last of the Hugginses’ receding figures. Whether their visit was too much for my constitution or not I don’t know, but for several weeks after I was not well, and the tll er boy got furious. I can doctor fin: id T ought to have a change of air, and recommended me to go for a while to some quiet place in the country. “The very thing,” said Christophorus, “you can go right away up to the Deacon’s and I'll come up Saturday and stay over S day, and sce how you are getting sure they'll make you comfortable.” He telegraphed them to meet me a | station, and the next day but one [ sta Thad along, dusty journey on the cara, but the Deacon was on hand when the train arrived, and I found that I was expected to ride four miles to the farm in a milk wagon. This was pleasant to begin with. Four | miles in an old lumber wagon without springs to the music of a lot of rattling, empty milk cans! I may as well state here, that they sold ation and shipped for New York, and re careful not to use any more of the eal fluid at the house than was while I was there, little milk I dri As It was eight o’clock in the evening when we finally drove up to the door. At nine I was handed a smoky kerosene lamp and shown to my room. This a hot, stuffy little hole over the kitchen, and [ ward learned it was called the kitchen ¢ The bedstead was an old-fashioned four poster, with cords drawn across it in lieu of springs, and on this there was a straw mat- tress and on top of that feathers. Sleep I could not, and when I thought of the nice apartments and beds the family occupied while visiting me, my blood boiled in my veins. At some fiendish hour between darkness and daylight, preparations for the morning meal commenced. Of course I could h all that was said, and some remarks we made that were not very complimentary to myself. At six I was called to breakfast. I arose, performed a pantomime wash in a very small basin and with very little water, and descended to the dining room. Breakfast consisted of salt. pork, fried in gre some vile stuff they called coffee, and some apple pie. I asked if I might have an egg and a glass of milk, which was finally procured for me in a most ungracious manner b nn Eliza while Martha ‘ed indignantly at me. I discovered after break fa at there were several comfortable rooms in the hou at these had been prepared for summer boarders, who were expected to arrive in abouta week, and they didn’t want ‘the beds mus I thought of my crazy quilt and lac that they had ruined, and made my way to the barn where I found the Deacon. Lasked him if he could take mo back to the vill: in time to catch the morning train. Ile made a few feeble objections to my sudden departure, and finally said that they | were haying and the horses were so busy, he | guessed I'd have to wait ’till night and go over with the milk. ‘This, of course, I was obliged to do. | I lived through. the day somehow, the | women made themselves as disagreeable as possible, and I not only rode to the station im the milk wagon but [ was ctually obliged | to take the milk train to the city. | I reached home in an exhausted condition about seven o’clock A, s., to the no small | astonishment of my liege lord. After I’d fallen on his neck and wept about potatoes comicbooks.com