Judge — May 31, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Her Favorite Instrument. “Is your wife Grimes to Mr, ( “Tam proud to say she is 4 was the reply vorite instrumen a musician?” ted beeame he in the | pect of Lar- vertise him so extensi the reputed political pr lead to anticipate the” Arthur and Bob Lincoln itial pall-bearers, not to mention Blaine’s delivery of a pani this imminent distin Mason & Hamlin “Her preference is the nis i » Why, what do you deceased at : Just what I say. self of the truth of my statement after Ho’clock by placing your asonable distance Washington Hatchet. at Ne shop door, t unpaid liquor bill; of Larry’s departure from. life, and shouted out, With maniac- voding over his Makes a Difference. pidity Skimp_ hitchec wer to O'Fudge’s door 4 flung ina freezer full of ice in on the sight of which ar beer pump in remarked a father, ‘ Fwelve dollars a box, ,and they are cheap at that. “Phot the divil an undhertakur id the old man, ‘* 1 ¢ to smoke such expensive cigs pelled to get alor 3 “Tam sorry, onded with some compassion, you have mother and me Philadelphia Call. Dinny kicking the young hopeful ammered the pallid under- T understood you to mean he v .T mint he was g , settles up yer . we'll dhrink tigethe , was a Chinaman, and he came for- Last geen of the "replied the challenger. trying in vain to bribe g : the freezer so nobody would steal he went to hunt up his runaway horse. ull boy to sit on can't vote here.” And he was voted. ked an old dark could yer loan an ¢ Ie was another Chinaman and his name town wide open, allee s “Thave you forgotton that fifty cents of me several years ago, and. have never returned it?” “TP habn’t forgot it, Dat debt | nb trang spi — Philidelphin pi | There was silence, and they allowed him the right of way of the street: amee Melican man.” There was silence. setemup dlinks. It Was the First Step. Hesnasp (airily, turned from their w not home from having just re- And he was bounced. ‘The Chinese must » club by—ah—10, — No More Advertising for Him. I'll come e for j d the reporter, Is advertisement in a morning paper for the owner of an umbrella left in your saloon to What Did She Mean, “That'll do. he suggestively 1 y at the reporter across the bar. at Jumping Joseph, will they never turning to the nd pou better were going out “until I go back | stop coming are the fortieth man who has called f erable old cotton ing the report- men here to-day umbrella who were never in my Blee | doctors, politicians, he added, addre *There have bee like to have something with me when I’m walking.” looked bothered but didn’t seek before—lawyers, another umbrella as long as I live,” to the bartender.—. Philadelphia Times. Effective Taffy. Ile was late, and be was not altogether as he ought to have been, — le saw by the light in the window that she was waiting for him and he trembled, knowing that he vere rebuke. As he entered the room she beg My dear,” he interruy | tell me what I was—hie—thinking of just now. Rather what you reminded me of as I came in. tting . minded n of th Matthew Arnold is the aj jamp—see! No, E don’t This is a nice—” “Well—hie—I'll show you. — Matthew Arnold is the ‘postle of sweetness and light. Well, you and the lamp fill the bill—sweet- ness and | The lamp i the light and you are the sweetness. *You foolish fellow,” she, with a smile; ‘what are you standing there for? Let me help you off with your coat.”—Somer- ville Journal. rited 1, ‘you can’t vthe table and you and the lamp’ re- ophy of which le—You and the With an Eye to Economy. “My pear,” he said e greeted him with the usual where m1 mels sort of expression, “do you know that all kinds of candy are now Iterated with fusel oil and people are dying every day from eating the po! MIT? “ “Gracious, no!” she said with a startled “T'll never eat another piece of the vile compound.” And his salary had been reduced to & a month and he visited her seven nights week her answer made his | unadulterated happiness. ald. e-ear phous lool vosom heave with vorristown Her- Wanted to Know What the Fashion Was. Mr Mvee, of Mu Pi her & Co., tells the story of bein dto a debtor in the country who had been in honest business for forty years and at last given out.“ Well, Mr. Creambow] di Mug n we do for you? Very bad tix? Mr. Mugg.” ** What can vou pay— No, not so much.” Well, how's £ “fy think not.” “Thirty-three, the: We want to be fair, you know, with a customer of so long standing.” | * Well, I don’t know ctly,”” said the debtor. “By the wa Mr. Mugg, about how much are they payi | onadollar now in Boston? —Hartford Post. No Mutuality. A coupe of darkies were traveling to- gether on horseback, in hot weather over sparsely settled country, where nothing ble or drinkable could be obtained. ‘About dinner time colored citizen No. 1 complains of hunger, and makes a proposition to go into executive session of whatever provisions they might have. “What has yer got ter bite?” “Tse got a flask ob ¢O be joyful!’ what's wuff four dollars a gallon What kind of perwishuns has you got? “fT hain’t got nuttin but a dried tongue.” “What does yer say to swappin’ off haf and haf? I gibs you haf de whisky, and you gibs me haf de dried tongue “Nuff sed. Hand ober de flask. The flask was handed over, and without drawing breath the party of the second part comicbooks.com