Judge — May 31, 1884 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

the line of the horizon several inches the equator, Then he banded it smacked his lips, aud remarked ecstat lowered below ich youd whisky I feels like whis of the task expected his trav to shell out that tongue, Je no effort to do so, al- No. 1 rolled his eyes an reproachful manner he around in Finally *s ver gwine to divide dat ar dried We you has got? Hain’t got none.” Yer said ig 1did hab dry n ob dat dried tongue, but it haint ¢ L wet hid wid de contents you is a deceitful niggah me mutuality about you, but Psee 1 has *"Tesas Sift “Love Me, Love My Dog.” rentleman to you've got er * was the sad reply, as he brought my wife's little pug dog.” you going to do with ewhere and drown him “1 wish T might,” the gentleman, fetehir am not going to drown. hin him? My g suit made to} she is pleased brute, and [am on im ore to match him for eof material.” wife mo! the « y way to a balf ing a new sp Nipped in the Bud. story is told of Sam Ha prominent in the some Catholic convention, meetin thing of the kind, and, as usual, think fate of the whole th pon him. Rising in his seat, who was « convention, seemed. to evolved he eloquently Chairman—My father and mother hairman ‘if that is the case we've heard quite enough from oung man subsided zard. GLASS SHINGLES are soon to supercede the old wooden kind, and parents ean just when to leave off spanking, without having to let up three or four times during opera: tion, —Burlington Free Press. A THOUSAND women. were recent Kentucky hanging. very few churches in Kentucky the only opportunity they h how their new spring bonnets.—Burlington Free Press. A CONVENTION of maple turers has just been held in Chica the chuirman’s desk was tacked a wreath made of maple leaves. ‘The leaves were examined with a great deal of curiosity.— Philadelphia Call. Now there abideth these things which every man can do better than any one else. Poke a fire, put on his own hat, edita news- pa tell a story—after another man has commenced it—and examine a railway time table.—Chicayo Sun. sugar manufac- OU City Bliz- | ever drank, THE JUDGE. Wires two poets read their rh each other itis “measure for m Washington Hatchet. psodies to Ds uwiy says there isa living pr ciple in fruit We suppose he refers to the worms al circles of the chicken-vard » very distinctly drawn, for —Merchant Traveler one thing about a he Is but never hurts th when it does —that is the rent Is the the lines hen has her own se THERE seldom A UTITUSVILLIAN sa dhe thought his wife was ‘a thing of eauty” and now he knows she is a ** jaw forever.”—Oil City Derrick. (aiuts in Montreal before he was m: wear nearly forty sof clothing. When a Montreal girl dude’s lap it is the dude that is mashed.—Philadelphia Call, *L worn die for y pillowing her h she . Oh, was the quick reply, “Tike re urlington Free Press A sew style of vented by a Burlin its peculiarity cons can talk joubted.— Burlington telephone hi on man, Iti ts in the fact that throug 8, however, Hawkeye. that Cain you is a base-ball “T shall be abond in the earth; and it that every one that findeth Boston: Transeript was , have you shooed th rden, as I told you?” r of her hopeful , and T shooed have done so if you "— Merchant Traveler, ~ chickens asked a Davip Davis says that if he should ever anything wrong he would not try to get out of it, but would throw himself on the merey of the court. If such a thing should happen the court would have our Baknuw’s greatest curiosity is said to be— not the white hant— but val umpire whose decisions last 4 tis- faction to both nines. He is claimed to be the only in the country, and is not whitewashed,— Norristown Herald. ‘Tue choir of a church in New Hampshire couldn't make out why the treble notes of the organ all of a sudden kept getting so much stronger than the bass, until they opened the thing and found a half starved cat in there.—Burlington Free Press. ‘Wuar sort of water do you have sked a stranger of Huddle. “First rate. If you put in whisky it will mak, ad a toddy as any was Huddle’s candid reply.— Texas Siftings. ele) about 3 frent, Katsen heard a man grumbling bad shave, and remarkes Mine dot shave was nix goot, shust g str You get shaved so di; don’t remember your mudder-in: ser is about right.—Brooklyn Times. Arter both parties have nominated their candidates for president we'll soon be able to tell which one made the treasonable utter- ance that the American Eagle was a pretty good bird, but not near good eating as roast turkey.—Philadelphia Chronicle Her- ald. | the o sheep busine mpathy, | Ir is the custom in a certain Hindoo caste for # woman about to marry to have her third and fourth tin; cut off at the joint ‘This accounts for the peculiar seratch marks observable upon the face of the Hindoo hus band. — Merchant Traveler “Pr is ground hog day again, | arked the red-he rder, « eye over the breakfast table. it isn’t,” contradicted a fly teleg: Then what is that sans: * rejoined the red-l Oil Ci 'y Derrick. doing ed boarder. — « AnovTone million bricks will be required for the Frank Jones's brew here should be no n, if « thoroug r of the consume made, — Boston difficulty in. procuring th canvass Mr. dk Transcript. “Say vor,” inquired a youthful democrat of anold man, “why do they call it the ‘horizontal bill ?"” “Well, my son, it is becats Morrison in a horizontal posit knee of the ypinion and gave sound s That's why."— Hartford Post. ‘Tue pub anking on is coming on when the young man on the train will try to open car window for a pretty girl, and after bu ing his eyes out and getting a lurid red in face without making it budge, will go forward to the smoking car and smoke cigarette after cigarette between his clenched teeth. —Philadelphia Call. nice + Fatien,” remarked a promising youth to an Ohio wool raiser, ‘1 guess you're gs ing to have opposition pretty soon.” old gentleman with a loo armer Hays is going into the + Who told you “No- body. [heard him talking to a friend this morning about introducing hydraulic rams on the farm.”— Brooklyn Eagle. arm, a boor that man usked one lady ‘Dip you notice what who sat next to you! nother as the pair stepped off a Wood enue car the other day. * How? he refused to pass up the fare for the y in lavender silk.” Oh, well, yc they were divorced only two weeks it couldn’t be expected he would recover his composure this soon, [tis ua mean trick in any divorced woman to expect her ex-hu band to pass alimony money up to the fare- Detroit Free Press. 100° per ping poultry. iso Columbia Bicycles THE POPULAK STEEDS OF TODAY Send Scent stamp for Mastrated Catalogue THE POPE MANUFACTURING CO., Wi Wasbiogtow St, Boston, Mass Branch House, 12 Warren street, New Yo D® FOOTE’ ORIGINAL METHODS OLD EYES*™ fe Xew without t doc. y RUPTURE (or a PHLMOSIS rd ’ ili CHRON rt a Address Dr. comicbooks.com