Judge — May 24, 1884 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

mand it, I ider it my duty to sacrifice ny own personal inclinations and preferences, and a the nomination, if offered me. It is not yet too late to rectify Y great wrong of 1876. Mr. Tilden,” I said, ** that 1 the newspapers abont your taland physical wreck are unmiti- ughed the old gentle- man, merrily, ‘the newspapers would have hilled me lon. yif they could. Does this look much like a corps As he spoke he spran jumped nimbly over the turned three somersaults in landed deftly on his feet. “How's that for high?” exclaimed the old gentleman, as he resumed his seat, ap- parently n all blown by his exerti You'll do,” [T remarke patting yon the back. up from his seat, rk of the chair, the air, and him “TP rather think [ will.” t eighteen or twenty pretty girls who called to sce me this mornin They are all for me, And when the women are for u ny know—eh?” and the old gentleman gave sly poke in the ribs, and winked know- at me. “And is this your final and sion?” T asked. he replied in a firm and decisive shall accept the nomination, should yrove to be the choice of the convention. In fact, Iam now engaged upon the prepan tion of a letter that effect.” I remained a few minutes longer, partook old rye in a friendly and. social way with him, and then he walked briskly to the door with me, and bid me good-bye. Lleft him with the firm persuasion that it would be stark sy in the Democratic party not t ate the only man who could carry them to a great and glorious victory, and who is not only sound enough for one term, but for a second one too. (As reported in the Chi “1 kissed some irrevocable ——) TH, xow wis along with feeble feet » seek the friendly sun But no kind eye his And not a single on Of all the crowd that pass alo Bend down to hear him sigh, plaintive Alas for thee, poor fly —Morning Journal, sten to the THEN He moves thro’ space at lightning speed, nd secks a He light 1p the hairless bead kicks up lots of fan How changed he irl or sun; s within a week, This friendless little bummer, ou saw the fly in weather bleak; This is the fly in summer. — Yonkers Statesman. sma. He flits above the sky-blue cream Unchid, unchecked by any, And later, in the sun’s warm beam, He dries his long antenne. Each breakfast dish in turn he tries With restless, graceful flutter, Till he like many other flies, “tangled in the butter. Pouiticat Measures.—Demijohns. Yes—you'll esaid ina proud | IS THIS A DYNAMITE EXPLOSION The Agricultural Novice Seeks Infor- mation and Finds it. SHovucp there not be a Department of culture at Washington, presided over by an eminent citizen taken fresh from the plow? Depends on which end of the plow you take the eminent citizen from. A long head and a sound hoof are a good outfit for residing over anything at Washington. But not too fresh. Is not the commercial fertilizer becoming a very bopulas crop, and what is it? Some- thing to fertilize commerce with, of course; but not a popular character—overdoes the perfumery business. How many acres to the bushel do think an enterprising farmer could rai Avast there! Our best agricultural authori- ties put it thus—‘*bushels to the acre.” But bushels of wh If you mean hay, you can’t come it too strong; if you mean wheat, don’t raise over five-hundred bushels to the acre—exhausts the soil when you go above t figure. What crop can be raised with the least trouble? Canada thistles; but don’t go into it. If a Democratic Congress should repeal the duty on Canada thistles they can be im- ported at a lower figure than you can afford to raise them. For a sugar crop would you advise one to raise cane or bect? Don’t attempt to raise Cain. Adam did it and got no good ont of it. Many of his descendants, who have tried it since, have brought up in the station- house. Is it true that the roots of the clover tree penetrate so deep into the soil? Strictly true that they penetrate exactly so deep. We may regret, but cannot prevent it. I presume the saying that the pen is mightier than the sword-fish does not apply to the pig-pen, and has no reference to the profits of porciculture? We presume not, too, and also that it has no reference to— but what, in the name of the coming eclipse, does porciculture mean? Something new in sausages, is it? A BANK BUSTED—AND THIS IS THE BUSTER, Is it true that Hungarian grass was intro- duced into this country by the illustrious Kossuth? Yes; after the ‘48, when the kaiserliks were at his heels, he had to | out with such haste that he had no time to ed out of his beard; hence when he reached the hospitable shores, ete If you had a mice house for the piggie: one of the little inmates should get out and wallow in the mire, how would you go about repairing the damage? We should goabout it, goddess, and about it, and never go near it at all. Is it advisable to hitch two unbroken colts ina plow? Very. Asa means of combining amusement with destruction, cannot be ex- celled. At present prices of bee eastern stock-raisers should compete with the Texas steers? No; unless the former are armed with shot-guns, or the latter have their horns sawed off. Where would you advise one to go toopen upafarm? Intothecountry. Ifyou should attempt it in the city, you will have markets and taxes convenient, to be sure, but the police would be apt to interfere should you attempt to express yourself ina traly bucolic manner. If it’s a stock-ri course you had better stick tothe city privileges and shearing — facilitie know, Who was the writer of the beautiful lines: “‘Man made the town; woman made the country,” and did he? Never mind about the writer. We have extraordinary facili- ties for knowing whether he did; but from motives of delicacy can only say, never mind about that, too. Is it true that going West young man and growing up with the country is one of the fundamental principals of Agriculture? We haven’t been down among the fundamentals lately, but this one has such a fundamental look that we dare say he is genuine. What is your view of the Bureau of Agri- culture as an institution? Only an outside view; hence would be qualified to give an elaborate description of its inside, which— do you think our comicbooks.com