Judge — May 24, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Tragedy in One Act. ‘Ane you not glad, Angie dear, Ww in is to drive you to Newburg to-morrow “Glad? id the willowy maiden, while a dark shadow dover her Grecian fea- tures, ‘Glad? No, I hate him The ernel words were hissed from her ruby lips like flashes of from the black- ned jaws of an ext inct voleano. * You hate him? “T do. I loathe soul. And, Ethel, the hour of my vengeance “What would you do? Oh, Ar from my to. him inmost At 12,30 ['1——” You'll what? Oh, Angie, you make me tremble.‘ You'll—' Vil cat five of the biggest, rawest, rank- est, ruggedest onions money can buy in Cin- r—¢ cinnath, yamercial, Sowing Out Discords. A YOUNG man stopped in front of old Mose, who was sawing up a pile of wood on Harriot avenue yesterday afternoon, and— “How many éords can you saw in a day, uncle: “Doan, know, chile; nebber tried to do my bes’s I used to be a barbel **T sawed over a thousand cords to less than two hours, and “Gracious, chile; am dat a fac’? mus’ be wid de saw!” “Yes; [did it on a violin.” “Oh, oh! Isee; you sawed on a fiddle and made discords, an’ no money; but I Vv make free doll: you s: saw on dis corc all ’c n to how Oil City Derrick. Told Him Politically. RAGED CANDIDATE. ‘Thought you were going to vote for m “Who said so?” “You did.” “Oh, well, [told you so politically, Some time ago you slandered an opponent and ex- cused yourself on_ politic yTprouude Tn business you might re s honest, but in politics, my dear fellow, no man of sense exercises his hono: Give me ight, please?”—Arkansaw Traveler. rd my action as dis- Honesty the Best, Etc. Aw anecdote worth laughing over is told of a man who had an ‘*intirmit an appetite for fish, He was paying his bill at the fishmonger’s, and whilst the latte was making it receipted, with his back turned, the honest buyer slipped a codfish under his coat-tail. But the garments were too short to cover up the theft. ow.” said the customor, ‘‘ Mr. Salmon, and | Ihave traded with you a good deal, have paid you up promptly, havn't I was the reply; “1m ke no comy “Well,” says insisted that hone the rule to live x “That's so,” replied the fishmonge; the customer turned to de, “Hold on, fri “speaking of honesty, I have to give you. Whenever you come here again a had better wear a longer coat or steal a shorter fish.” the customer, and morning and then announc that he spend the THE JUDGE. “He Could Not | Visit Berlin. | Mr. Suitier five ate seven pieces of steak muffins for bre kfast the other tothe boarders | 1 his arrangements to immer in Europe. “Pity you won't be able to. visit remarked the audacious Bumble made Berlin,” “Why, Eawill be able. I propose spend- ing two weeks there,” answered Mr. Smithers. | Ob, no you wo retorted Bumble. “They won't allow an American hog to Germany.” ’s blood on the moon,— Hatchet. ente Th Music of the Future. “Do, Lnocene, keep away from the piano, please, Your attempted playing tires me. “Why, now, Clotilde, you said only week | before last that I playing remarkably | well.” ‘I know, Imogene, But my judgment was immature. You do play some of Liszt’s simple music quite well; but since I was in Boston my soul cries out for Wagner. 1 wonld learn the * Wedding March’ from Lohengrin if I were you. “Til learn my wedding house bef ‘ou willl of the distant futur march from this Your's will be music Conversation followed by true sisterly silenee—IMartford Post. Dean Jupee: J thought 1 would go to The Difference. Europe in the State of Florida, but did a 7 not. The State of New York is getting aid a young man; ** | very warm for me. The state of my stom- heavy liter ach is very’ restless of late. T wish you for I confess | reoutd make a statement in your paper as that Iam unable to determine? to how I can remedy these things. ours “Well, young man, a writer whose works | 4 Oirizes one reads is a producer of light liter St wontwork — There was Dickens, forinstance. His | fe ure. ; st Poll , uncle, but his works created great Honestyie the, BeatRolicy: urn i Nerimental steforas| oSamo,” suid the Judge, “you are i 5 : nie 1 with stealing two chickens from tell you, it is universally appre f ee Me ewe pay a eine: | your neighbor, Mr. Bowen. Are you guilty “What, then, is heavy literature?” or noe SME hs atl ; “Something whieh very few people re ia nigga nobbah stole nothin’, sah. mbo?” nt time, for instanc ally for his writings and they 1 no reform, ‘Therefore th constitute a feature of heavy literature, the world receives no benefit, only getting the view of one man. Light literature is nd is of interest to all in- sah.” one stole em, sah.” “Will you explain to the court then, how you got ther Yo! se h, dem chickens an A , wuz asettin’ on de fence wid nuffin? much hat’s the difference.” —Arkan- | 4 do, an’ I frowed some cawn outen de yahd — ’ tole ’em powahful particlah not to ‘tech Taffy by the Ton. hit, er I'd knock de thiebin heads offen ’em, — Den, , [sot down an’ watch dem chickins, ‘How many times did the clock strike, t pay no tenshun a tall; but lovey, the last. time sked the spoony yo" soul, Jedge, dey hop right inter de swain at the Sunday-night picnic. * begin fol to eait_my widout cawn ‘Two times, deary,” answered the fair awo'd. Den I done jis what I tole dove as she gathered herself closer to his ‘se boun’ to do, an’ 1 knockt ’em bofe paper shirt front his 37-cent diamond ways wid a pole solitaire. Why , Sambo, you took them into the house and had them cooked for your sup- y-bunch want | per.” “Tn cose I did, boss! Yo’ don’t ’spose I “Ohno, but every hour I imagine I hear | wuz gwine to let dem chickins lay im dat the manly tread of your choleric ing down the stairs? But he don’t come.” ‘Not yet, I know; but when it strikes 3 i must be off.” papa com- yahd an’ spile, an’ fill de whole neighbuhood wid a bad smell, did yer? I’se a chu’ch membah, I is, an’ 1 knows dat de good book says we mus’ lub ouah neighbahs, an’ treat quah; un’ I’se gwine to do hit, bress de Five dollars and ¢ and Sambo went out with Merchant Traveler. use I fear the ‘third term will be the charm,’ and I would avoid a meeting.” —The Hoosier. said the Judge, a constable. — comicbooks.com