Judge — March 22, 1884 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

vo disfigured it. For a long time I have been at loss, but I have suddenly be- thought me that my portrait is the one thing needful to lend and refiement to your columns. I enclose it. Knowing, as you lo, how beautiful Lam, I need not expatiate on my charms. Print the picture, and let the world realize how fair I am. Yours, “Da.” Tue Jupce, ‘whether we must be, so let Dal go And now that the «l, we may look for s Dal’s picture, eh? idealized himself as much as the others. Wonder if artists can ever see them- selve: them. Wonder if Dal and Hamilton and Beard—why, here’s that boy again.” ‘Too tru Re-enter the office boy, with an and a block. 8 his picture in as well as the other gentlemen, Questioned as to his cla tistic ability, he hands over the note glanc “Well,” Dal be fair or not, in with the artistic a little p Tle haa others see again shows that it is almost as much idealized as those of the artists proper. Tue Jupor’ heart swells within him with pride. Why should he not go down to posterity as the possessor of the most beautiful office boy on record? He understands something of the feeling that inspired his illustrious contem- porary to publish portraits of its whole artistic statf, drinking very yellow beer out of very red goblets, with ai orange sky in the distanc nd suits and hair and com- pl xion: all the tints in the rainbow. So he reads the ollice boy’s note, with some difficulty it must be confessed: ep JuGe—i tak the libberte tu ask you to prent me pictur nowin it will be a prowd and hape momment to yerself and awl yer reders and throe oner and glore over yer kolims. as yu are prentin retis i thote you wud lik to hav me, as i stix up the juges on the boolitin bord, and sum- times grinds culers for the gens up stares. i tole mister beered to mak me hansum so i mite be an oner to your kolims wich i rev- rence. Iam onerd juge your atatshed offis boy JORGE WASHINTIN JINX. ONE And as Tne Jupoe sent this last letter and picture out to the printers, he owned that there is such a thing in existence as artisti otism, and that some people be- si 1 the Dutchman of the picto- rial waxy have it bad. A the far Hebrides Had a poodle much troubled with fleas; Aslam i She caught them at dinner And left them to drown at their ease. THE JUDGE. A dude | A dressy dud As Ido li The Lost Dude. ly Tacques I meta dude i the Bowery; n celskin-panted du food, I met a dude adudet Who strutted down the overcrowded street, And icked his steps haunts th mong the east side throng Bowery— tady morrow, dude,” quoth I quoth he; Call w e not dude ‘till heaven hath sent me Broad And then he drew a dial from his poke, And lookin it with lack Says, very wi ‘hus, we may sce how dudes tan hour ago I left the Bijo And after an hour more [ may regain it And so from hour to hour we dude Naught knowi Prithee what street, if you will be Leads to my kind and Broadw hear crawl on, Where we may bring up the next kind, When I did inned dude thus mourn himself as lost, ed him up with coffee be And set his Poor mis Intercepted Letters. SOPTKONISHA MULBERRY, NEW YORK, TO ALGUSTES GOSSMAT, NEW GUINEA, N.C. eN—Pears like its a mighty long time since I’ve heerd from anybody down in New Guinea, and though as I pr meditated to yer on a formah ‘casion, dat der place in my heart yer will heresomeafter occupy, is only a secondary one, still 1 thought it moight be bess for all consalined to let you know that Iam at present enjoyin tollable good health. Mudder’s been m My Dean Fr or less complainin ebber since de shock paw gub her by sud- denly appearin befoah her in company wid dat ornery cullud pusson, known all ober Norf Carliny and a paht ob Georgia, as cole black Rose. Yer see dey got der passage paid by some pooah white trash dat calls hisself an agent heah, and all dey had to do was to agree to give one monfs’ sarvices fur nothing. I reckon dey thought dey could "scape de penalty ob workin out de p fur dey were neider ob dem ebber oaaple erous fur der onesty, but dem Yankee agents are jess a little too sharp for any or- dinary Southern niggah to tackle in dat way. Wen he dat war my paw, I grieb to say, arribed, wid dat infamous woman for a companion, dat agent stood on de wharf ready to welcome ‘em, and nebber for an in- stant did he let dem out ob his sight, till he'd ced ’em in what he called a fust- class home. De quarest paht ob de hull parfohmance dough, am de fact dat de home happened to be jess tree oaks aboye: beat ou'de exmma block. Good Lor’, I dun thought maw hed gone crazy for suah, de fuss mornin she discubbed her ole man. Yer sce she went out ter trow somefin in de ash barl, an dah, close by, idin speakin distance, stood paw, engaged e same gratifyin occups Maw she into der house, jess like a spring- North riverw 1 Felskin’s the only weart chicken, widout its hed, and says she to me, “ Phronie, I’se seen yer ole ded fader’s gh an no mistake;” den she trew her apurn ober her hed and took on a lo-backed char, and went on for ter ery and rock her- self. She war so seared dat she left de arie open, an paw who hed scen her had follered her on inter de kitchin. I war so nm aba like, dat all I could murmur war, “he am a purty libely ghoss, dat’s all I've got ter say.” Den she pulled de apurn orf her hed, and saw him standin dar befo: her, and den tings began to look loively and de wool begun to fly. Dey commenced callin each odder all sohts ob names, and maw she ’manded her mule money ob him in such opprobious terms dat [ clar fo’ life I tought de m and de missus would heah de Me. Den as if ter a ncoal to der combus- tion, cole black I hed, an den maw she left paw an went for her. Dey tore each odder’s dresses an Rose loss some ob her back har, but paw got Rose off, an I held on to maw, an den de miss * bell began to ring like as if ole Guffy hisself had hole ob it, and dey had ter quit. RK paw depahted, but’ maw war in sech a ob moind dat she leff me ter git de whoile she went off ter Brudder White for spiritoral conserl: De misses dey wanted ter know w war about, an I had to tell ’em it war about de ashman—dat he drapped a whole barl ob and a coal scuttle ob coal in de basemen Missis didn’t s sh y nuffin moab, but I heerd de massa mumble ober sumfin about niggal dat I didn’t quite apprehend. Vowsomebber, maw she got home widout her absence bein foun out, but she war furrus still, an Brudder White dun tole her ter git a diborce, an I reckon as soon as she kin git de efficient amount ob money for de uurpose she am goin ter buy one. Brudder White he cum roun in de ebenin and tole me I need’n ery, dat he'd be a bet- comicbooks.com