Judge — March 22, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Ludlow Street Jail Etiquette. Curses for the moneyless. CHAPTER NUL Benoni Brings Down Two More Dildooleys. Then A. B. C. Dildooley, the tinker, and . E Dildooley, the blacksmith, rushed yon the scene. A.B. C. said he could ix almost anything,” could soon butcher. D. E. F. said he was a blacksmith, and he could hammer a butcher na sausage in less than five that butcher knew how to shoot, and he always voted as he shot! ‘Two more Dildooleys went down, one shot through the coat-tail “and the other through the collar button. CHAATER XII. Another Dildooley Goes Down with a Crash, There being but two more Dildool will be necessary to have them rush iy the scene. ‘They rushed. G. IL. 1, the carpenter, felt that he could ax the butcher out, saw his leg off, plane him down and finish him up in a short space of time. But G. H. I. followed the other Dildoo- leys and fell with a crash. Butterbowl Upset. “Well,” said J. K. L. Dildooley, «it ‘amily is fast. passing s will be wiped left to tell the weeks, now yon come to Hireling! ‘villain! bute this place, or you shall bite the d Then said Benoni: “Why do 5 e not for you—I care only M.N.O. She is willing to , and I mean to take her.” “ Tenoni Butterbown,” howled J. K. K., “leave this house instantly or I'll split your head ope er your brains to the four w aid Butterbowl; and ick Robin- out of his pocket and aimed it at Benoni. It went off with a fearful roar and Benoni fell majesti- cally into the dust of Opossum Hill. “He is a goner!” exclaimed Nackawana Olivebranchie. — * Yes, more than that,”” sa enough for me to put in sixteen alas (The ler will therefore consider sixteen alasses put in at this place.) Yes, he was dead. Benoni Butterbow] was no more. An awful ramrod had laid him low, CHAPTER XY. The End of the Tragedy. After Benoni had been dead awhile he got up and said he ed he had been dead long enough. M.N. 0. he guessed so t and they fell into e a terrific crash. J. KK. L, tore them asunder and inforn Benoni that he had been selling him inferior beef for six weeks a i in, Benoni seized a fizzbanger and stood ready for the fray. M,N. O. wep ly for ten minutes, then she stopped and wiped her yes on a White oak leaf. And the murder- ous work commenced again, J. K. L.’s ramrod went off with a fearful roar, just as it did before, and Benoni for the ‘second time in his life was a dead man. in; he gave it up. last. words were: ** Bury me in the mother, ‘neath the waving branche: onions and the peas.” Then M,N. O. wept and pined and of a broken shoe string; and J. K m , cut his head off ramrod. Opossum IIill still st wind sighs sadly every t THE END. A Bothered Barber. Ir was ina barber shop, and the barber was tendered a $2 bill by the man he had j The drawer had been emptied jonal currency and the barber turned Tean. Let mesce—yes; I’ve just nd ten cents for my shave will make Give me the bill and here one hand and the £2 bill in the oth as if uncertain which weighed the most. Then the n broke upon him “Great Scott! Do you want y you ten cents for the privilege of aving you? Here, take the $2 bill and owe me twenty cents.”—Lowell Citizen. « You had been drinking a Crimsonbe when he met his wife at t the next morning I must admit that I had,” replied the yand, meekly. You know as well as Ido that liquor is ur worst enemy.” So I do.” Why don’t you give it up then?” “Tt Wouldn't be scripts 1 “What!” screamed Mr en at her husband’s re} n't be seriptur ther decided! us to love enemies nd Crimsonbeak smacked his lips at the very thought of it.— Yonkers Statesman. ain last night, fired at him Kfast table True to Life. “You're not looking well this morni said Mrs. Yeast to her and when he down to breakfast. No; nor am I feeling well, cither,” was the gentleman’s reply. “Headache?” inquired the lady, cau- tiously. “No; but I dreamed last night that I was out to a large dinner party, and I must have eat too much, for this morning I awoke with violent attack of ind That's just like y exclaimed the unsympathetic woman, — Yonkers Statesman. “Tr is said that El Mahdi allows nobody to approach him who docs not come on all fours.” It may be inferred from this that he would treat the American hog with a little more respect than is shown by Prince Bismarck.—Norristown Herald, ~ A sear story of the late Baron Rothschild is told in the French papers. He was very busy one morning when the Vicompte admitted into his office. The ssorbed in his reading, said, without «his head, ‘Tam at your orders, sir, akeachair.” “ Pardon me,” was the a “Tam the Vicomptede L.P.” “Ah, the baron, now looking up, “take , then.”"— Yonkers Gazette. comicbooks.com = sae ace ee Se