Judge — March 15, 1884 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Waar dire mi The wretch w should await just for fun, Will ruthlessly resuscitate The lenten joke Halifax the villain Therg let his lif not his umbrella lend forsooth, ‘tis lent —Sumercille Journal. Might Have Tried Yellow Fever. A New York youn caused the family physic After looking at pulse, ete., he said: J do not wish to your symptoms are fever.” Oh, surely not, not fecling well nto be summoned. her tongue, feeling her Miss B., those arm you, plainly but of searlet she Docte he said, enc al with scarlet fe “What shall I do "hat ehall Ido?” she moaned, in great distress. **Oh, Doctor. couldn't you throw it into some other kind of feve rlet is so trying to my com- plexion.""— Philadelphia Call. laimed in consternation; he are certainly threat- A Plain Case. A sor very handsome, ¢ | boring a young fellow explanation or other, Jerly maiden was with ome sort of | and he was crazy to talk to a pretty girl on the other side of the room. Finally she said: Do I make myself plain?” “Well, Miss Sarah, | believe you do. Be sure of it, because I want to do so.” Really, M rah, Idon't know whether it is you or the Lord, I should say yor pout us plain as any woman [ev hen he went over to the Merchant Traveler, Accordeon of tho Bible. other girl.— A TALL cle prical- ookin, g man walked into d and inquired: it a accordeon of the Bible iquired the clerk. A accordeon of the Bible,” respond The clerk rammaged over a pile of French novels, scratched his head, and then, as an idea collided with him, he fished out Pr den’s Concordance of the Bible and handed it to the ma “How much is this accord the purchaser. «Pune a half,” replied the clerk. Then the tall, clerical-looking gentleman handed over the lucre and departed with | his soul’s desire wrapped up in brown paper. —The Hatchet. * inquired Accidentally Overheard. ‘Wert, Bill, when's that your's coming off?” t isn’t coming “Tt isn’t! Why? “Well, last night about ten o'clock 1) thought I'd take a walk up past Jennie’s house, thinkin’ maybe I might see her up at the front window of her bedroom, as I often | done before, and throw a kiss at her. But | when I got there she wasn’ the window.” | “Ah! gone out, I suppose? | “No; she was in bed and asleep. _ Her | window was open and I heard her snoring— | and such asnore! That settled it. I wouldn't | marry a snoring woman if she was worth | millions.”—Kentucky State Journal. of wedding fat all.” THE JUDGE. The Crisis. A GENTLEMAN was sent for the doctor at avery carly hour in the morning, and on his return home was informed that a little hter h ded to the household. A dau, . ig ed the nurse, ‘fa sweet little tsy of a girl.” heaven,” replied the father, *¢ the has arrived.”—Carl Pretzel’'s Weekly. Loops come high; but it seems the un- happs Ohio people must have them.—.V. 0. Picayune. ‘Two big political conventions in Chica this year, and the ‘* devil take the hindmost.” —Hartford Post. A JAPANESE woman dre ice in four days. This gives the rest of the family an occasional chance at the mirror.— Bismarck Tribune. 3 her hair only A St. Louis girl travelling in Italy writes home “ that she has just had a bust of her foot made.” This ants for the high price of plaster.—Carl Pretzel’s Weekly Tur New York World asks Walt Whitman to parse his new poem, * With husky, haughty life, O, sea.” Bless your heart, Walt is not rammarian, he is poct.—Hartford Post. “Tp I were to give adime toc dollars are demanded,” says «I would be bankrupted within Mr. Gould had not Boston Transcript. arity where mld, 1 year. At last one into bank- Is one of our Indian lang *woman” is rendered * es the word ewanojawjaw,” | | with marked and earnest emphasis on the | last two syllable. en the si ed arts o! ¢ Tribune. $s under- the Iying | h basin | asionally. Thus the to be some- ted every time iA cur,—Atlanta Constitution, stand the vile and w slanderer.—Bismar Wues man builds his nest in awa he ought to expect to get damp But he never does expect it. annual floods in the west appe: thing brand new and unexpe the ‘To empty a theatre in case of fire, the ‘at | should be lowered. All the men will rush ont by force of habit, and the women will s usual in stich and a panic will be prevented. ‘The suggestion is freely | ston Tran- | NCINNATL woman has give que to be sold for the be If she didn’t do th the pur- of having her husband buy a new one it n instance of sacrifice unparalleled in istory of the world.—Aentucky State Journal. THE MOST POPULAR IN USE. ‘Leading Nos.: 048, 14, 130, 333, 161. Fon Satz sy att Stariowens, ROOK STEEL PEN CO., yen case ie 26 tehaOh,, Yew Fk. SAGAN, NAY « ¢h*" coLuMBIAN = Co, BREWERY and MALT HOUSE 450 W. 26th Street, BETWEEN MATH & TENTH AVE’, NEW YORK. want to win at cards send, for T HELPER. Asure thing. 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