Judge — October 6, 1883 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. q2 Just at this moment he's walking about, Talking dumb show, with a girl on his arm. Dozens like him wander in and pass out, Forming the picture that makes the scene's charm; And his sole thought, as he stands in the set, “Is my poor girl at home lingering yet?” She cannot live—she is past doctor's skill; Well, as he knowsit, he smiles and toils on, Thinking, at times, with a heart-breaking th Washington Cossip. FROM OUR OWN LIAR. Wasmxotox, D. C., Sept. 27th. HEARING it hinted that your correspond- ent’s residing in Washington is ‘loubted, and that his communications are composed in a New York uptown flat (one room to the flat) and that his weekly lucubrations are written on discarded paper cuffs, the selvedge edges of the ‘‘Crimina Own Journal,” ‘The Christian Intelligencer,” and Harry Mincr’s Rr grammes, thereby leading the public to elive that you don’t pay your correspondent salary enough to enable him to buy writing paper without infringing upon his beer- money, your correspondent begs to refer these ** doubting Thomases” to the enclosed board bill from Mrs. Stimpkins, 1876 Fourth street, this city. (You will notice that the aforesaid bill is not receipted, possibly a nod is as good as awink to aJupGe). (Yes, and possibly an ‘‘ukase” from this office remov- ing you from your position, and bestowing it upon some one who interviews public officials more and bar-rooms less, is_ what you'll get if you run up any more bills on the strength of your connection with this paper—you hear me cackle).—Ep. Jupar. the contract made by the Secretary of the Navy Chandler, on behalf of this Gov- FACT AND FANCY. ALACE of fancy or attic of fact— | 1 will my Imogene visit to-night? | Is it her whim to see somebody act? | Or witness a play by rea | Lam indifferent, 11 | Fancy or Fact, deare ‘s light? no choice— , Which has your ¥ Fancy shovws pictures more lurid, perhaps, | Shadowed by ps Fact counts its m Of a hid heart t Fact lies in darkness i | Which will my Imogen on, by vice and by crime ry by the quick taps ing agony’s time visit to-night? You can see trials and troubles and care, d gilding and dress; kills—Fancy crowneth the Which will my Imogene visit tonight? Fact—do you choose it? Well, dtis the bai But the five acts of the dramas you sce Really run thre You « Five ye act let it be; | of our plays; at numberless days: n realize what you have read arce ¢ and the vietim is Here in this garret Only a line from Ri You've seen the still wife lyi lity's pay isband, you may sec him Strut ton the theatre stage earce observed him, forgotten him {a dollar an tt Rent-day to-morrow; the last dollar gone. eset and a pitiful act | Curtain descends on the attic of Fact, You do not like it! T thought not, my child— Welll sce no more of this terrible play: Better the flimsiest Fancy run wild ‘Than the dread drama of life's every-day Weep at the wellacted woes if you list ‘Tears are soon dried for what does not exist ernment, with Jchn Cockroach the eminent ship builder, a most wise provision has been inserted; it is to the effect that the builder guarantecs that all vessels he constructs for | the United States government, shall cost— at least—one tenth of what he charges h customer; that they shall outride the fiercest storm that is likely to visit the Potomac River, and if any of them should turn bot- tom upward, when wearing ship—accidents will happen, you know—John Cockroach promises to explain the matter in such a tory, and scientific manner to the ‘y of the Navy, that the latter will at once order the immediate construction of six more vessels of the same pattern. Your correspondent has it on the best au- thority that Congress will be asked to ap- propriate a sum for the erection of a build- ing in Washington in which to hold an | Industrial Exhibition that shall take the starch, so to speak, ont of every Exhibition that has hitherto been held whether in Lon- don, Vienna, Paris, Berlin, Philadelphia, Boston or Louisville. The idea is to make | it strictly a national affair; no foreign goods | will be exhibited except those worn on the | backs, h and feet of visitors. It has been suggested that in showing exhibits, each State and Territory shall be guided by | the following list. By doing so, a greater | variety will be obtained than would be the | | specimens of Democratic Harmony. | “bu case were each te allowed to do its own ting. Appended, thi mes of States, and exhibits peculiar to exch: Alubama—Cotton, and a snake story. Arkansas—Cotton, ‘The tiddleupon which the “Arkansaw Traveller” was first played. The cost of tar and feathers the first player received, and ex-Senator Dorsey. Connecticut Picty. | Mutton- headed coroners’ juries. Wooden nutmegs, and a all bat. California—*'The finest climate in the world.” Some Railroad honesty. Big pears. Smutty news; . A Hoodlum and 14 millionaires. Colorado—A piece of Pik private graveyard. vestment.” A Faro ** ex-Licutenant-Governor 4 shirt aware—A crate of pe ical tree of the Ba Swamps. Allig (made in Avenue se of Yellow Jack. A colored lady, A white wo- A dish of *possum/and sweet pota- and the original Georgia Minstre Indiana— The ext President.” Tall Syeaymore of the Walash and divorces to the square mile. Mlinois—A Chicago man who was rich be- fore the fire. The author of ‘Jerked to Jesus” and a Whisky Ring. wa—Ascetion’ of Barb-wire fencing badly-wrecked Prohibitory Amend- ‘obacco, Peak. A mining in- and one of ibor’s frilled night and the ors. A.) he poy and ment. Kentucky—Henry Watterson. blue g and * Our Mary.” Kansas—A thin farmer and a fat grass- hopper ouisiana— A ton of Joke from the “ Pica- yune.” A Mardi Gras Festival and a Lot- tery Ticket. Missouri —'The mes. A S' boat blow-up. Mississippi he dotlets on the I”—one must use when spelling the name of the State. Malaria, and the Ruilroad refreshment-room biscuit which was placed by a traveller on the rail and locomotive and 18 honored citizen, Frank ouis girl’s foot and a steam- upset | freight ca Michigan—A_ wild Michigander, and Minn —A goose. A representa- the Lime Kiln Club. Barrel of Flour and a tiv | Blizzard. Maine—The respect paid the Liquor Law, hh yarn. Hhusetts—Butler’s record. Culture. Sullivan. Bottle of Bedford Rum, Tewkesbury. Maryland—A naval cadet in’a glass case, and the remains of the U. 8. Navy in a cof- fin. w York—One of the Finest. Some An A chorus of American Actor, (¥ Brooklyn Bridg: A A fire in the dr co steerer. New Jersey—(A foreign State: no exhibits permitted). New Hampshire-A few Hills and Bill Chandler, Nebraska—A Tornado and a Cowboy. Novada—A boquet of sage brush and a mining community North Carolina—The remarks made by the Governor to His Excellency of South Carolin Ohio—Hogs and Politicians. Oregon—A few rainy days. rare). Herald’s War-map.” goods District, and a Bun- comicbooks.com