Judge — September 8, 1883 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Bass Drummer. generous eye that can read aright The language of tights and spangles, That can trust a color by calcium light, And excuse the ballet’s tang! Lanks from the head of the of bass drum— I mean, of the man who strikes it— And the orchestra knows it must he dumb Whenever the bass dram likes it, I've heard that drum beat a mournful tone— I've heard that drum so often— When Lady Anne is cajoled and won From beside her husband’s coftin: I've heard it sound as merry a note As the goatskin of Sancho Panza [throat When a female troubadour stretches her To howl in ext I've heard it Of the Bri ts, filing < the stage—among them led The lover of hapless Eileen. I've heard it shiver a peeling shock, More resonant, and broader, When the Kingof Soctland stopped to kne At the gates of the ne of Cawdor, tre: Nc [ve heard it blend with the trumpet’s | O'er the fallen wre: Charles As Orlando turns to the maiden fair Whom he wooed in the glades of Arles. I’ve heard it aid in a ringing cheer ‘o super could have created, So well, that Cassius turned to sneer At r over-rated. T've heard it beating the c As the blows fell When the mimic brig: Traverses the stage in “ Ours I've heard it beating the deep, tone Of the mob for vengeance yearning, When Robert Landry, so feeble grown, Is borne from the Bastille burning. pse, Quick time, t in showe I've heard it ring ‘neath a live, quick tap, Forgetting to beat for slaughter, As a sprightly damsel, with hand to e Salutes as the Regiment’s Daughter, But all the same, through shadow and shine, It heats for every comer: [line, He can smile at “ gags,” for he knows each Though he’s only the old bass drummer. Yeur in, year out; ‘most every night, And matinees more than weekly, He looks not left and he looks not right, But he plies his drumsticks meekly. In the swirl of the winter snow and sleet, In the hush of the parehing summer, You will find him nightly in his old seat, ‘The seat of the old bass drummer, Ile has memories that will never fail. Of those who have trod our stag God rest their souls! To trust his They lived in heroic ages. * Men are not now what th He sighs; but he sighs the s« When he tells you tales of the And the drums he beat for F Who blames him? Old men’like to live In the days they have left behind them; If the stage have better men to give, Ife would not care to find them. "Tis a kind old age—not de rider Kean rest. And he still looks on, with indulgent At the failings of tights and spangles. “We might as well draw the line here,” remarked the vigilants to the horse-thief. Je, in well-drilled line, | | torpid was hot enough to bile | day. “His siz | five fect more, although last winthe THE JUDGE. Warren—* One lamb and one pertater OLD GExt.—"* Hold on, wait Bowery Blarney, | AS EXEMPLIFIED OUTSIDE A DIME MUS M. “ GINTLEMIN, this celibrated boa-constrie- tor is the . largest, sthrongest, and pret- tiest animal of its spayshees in_ this coun- thry. He ght in South Africay, as ay torpid, afther swallowing two oxes and adhrove of unforthunate and innicent sheep. ina wire net, his eapthur a butiful iusthration of successful wire-pulling. — It was supposed that the sand) where and that his skin was at laste ¢ well done’— this is proved by its highly-finished pairance. THis color is supposed to bine all the hues of all the shnakes and other sich varmints that iver hissed, or rat- | tled, or croaked, or bit, or kiled thimselves inty all manner of outlandish shapes, fre the airly and unlucky days of the eute ould | sarpent that timpted Eve in the Garden of Ayden, down to the conger-eel of our own | is varyable, as like most other objects in nathur, he expands with hate and conthracts with cowld. For ivery rise | of five degrees in the thirmomether he in- erases a fut in longithnde, and siveral inches in latithude, In his native land he is one hundhred and fifty feet and a few inches long. The priseht warum summer in. our | »wn counthry has sthretched him to twinty- re whin the thirmomether fell to sixteen degrees be- low ro, he shrunk into such thrifling dim- minshuns as to be complately invisible thru a micruscope. His prisent lingth and breth yees can see for yeerselves, if yees cum in; but before yees lave the hall this blissea | ‘ thural tact and talents for polit a 1 want less meat and more potato.” night he will be siveral inc he is now, on account of the grate swelth i the maythropolis. Like a y human shnakes in the gi around us in this big city, he has grate » Which he show ving his coat four siveral times in intlemin, the price of ad- mishun fo faste veer eyes on this wonderful nathural atthraction, together with the bew- tiful Sireashun princess, and the three- headed calf with only two legs and one eye, and tin thousand grater curyosities than I have minshuned, is but the beggarly sum of tin cints.” The Boating Season. So avert bas been w of boating ‘That I've nothing novel to say As long as the craft is kept floatin, And don't get in other folks’ way. The oars should be properly “ feathered,” (And so should an old-fashioned bed), And when obstacles all have been “* weathered,” You may possibly come in ahead. Bet unless you look out where you're going When racing for plate or for cup, The most scientific of rowing Won't serve to avert « smash up— And if you don't pull as you “ oughter,” You'll probably meet an upset, And find, when you enter the water, That water is terribly wet Bismarck has gone to Kissingen again. Wonder what his old frow has to say about it. eB comicbooks.com