Judge — May 5, 1883 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DAN ATTITU DY Rs LET THIS BE THE Mrs. Pennyfeather's Peregrinations. I reEGret to state that Heraclite home in a slightly inebriated state night be- fore last. I heard his footfall’s music struck the first stair, and, I can tell vou, soul responsive answered as I felt his pres ence near, and helped him into bed, As soon as he was sound asleep [ arose, and with my customary 1 proceeded to examine his evidently heen playing po- I found acouple of chips rolled up with a lot of bills, Teount- ed out what I considered a sufficient amount toconsole me for the indignation I experien- ced on punt of his heartless and unfeeling conduct, and putting the money with my monthly allowance and what I had already cribbed from the housekeeping funds, found I should have a respectable sum to go shop- with on the morrow, ‘The next morn- he didn’t want much breakfast, and instead of coffee. L sobbed, a_lovely little hand- aad purchased for half its value a and the meal ended as I ex- + by his coming und a | ny- y and said I, between t thing to make his ow comfortable. ** Well, the! the subs, ‘ you can j top in at Altman’s and buy me’a lovely bls nanish-lace par- I saw there yesterday for thirty-two dol- lars, and half-a-dozen pairs of nice silk stock- ings, any color you choose. ‘Then if you'll ee se never to drink any more, I'll feel tter, and won't say a word about your con- This last remark as I knew it would. rived before gone duct to any of your folks.” produced a telling effe and the parasol and stoc he did in the evening. As soon I started out for my fun; for sur a man stays out half the night enjoying himself, it’s a poor story if his wife can’t stay out half the day. I'd seen a black brocaded velvet grenadine mantle at Hearn’s a few days be- fore, for forty-seven dollars—they would have been at least sixty anywhere el didn’t really need it, but it was such a bar- gain, and would be so stylish with the para. sol, that I felt as if I must have it. Miter I'd bought it the thought struck me that I really ought to have a “dress to match, and so I invested in some of the same material as the mantle, fora suit. I didn’t intend to get anything for Herac on account of his shame- less behavior the night before; but there were some neckties there, 80 cheap, I couldn’t re- sist the temptation; so I put them in with OUS BILLY). OP EVERY AMERICAN ARTIST. the time I'd left the store Td spent i many dollars more than Pd intended to, and hadn't enough left to get the bonnet [ needed, and the trimming for the grenadine. Of course, under the cireum nces, there was only one thing to be don get the hat charged, and keep the rest of th money for other thin, Heraclitus hate bills, and has positively forbidden my con- tracting debts wondering how I] was to keep him from finding this out, [went on down to MeCreery’s and found there some lovely lac heap, that I trim’ the grenadine beautifully, and money enough left to get an elegant black sh, at a bargain. On my way up town T felt so hot that I stopped in at Delmonico’s and had a light lunch, and by the time I arrived home Thad just seventy-five cents left in my pock etbook. IT was fagged out, and every b in my body ached; but I'd hac and got lots of bargains. TI that worries me now is, how I’m to that hat. I’ve spent my allowance, can't crib any more from’ the housek I suppose I shall have to wait for Her NeXt s} which is sure to come, sooner or later. ‘Then, if his pockets are not full, I'll make life such a burden to him that he'll be glad to give me the mone the rest, and by AMERICAN subscribers to the funds of the Land League will no doubt be highly edified to learn how the money they have furnished | is being applied. Mr. Clifford Lloyd has un- earthed a plot of wholesale murder in the west of Ireland. It appears that in Jan- 1G society ¥ anized with the spe ctof killing ‘ds and agents, and, according to the on of one of the leaders, this precious society was fur- nished with arms by the Land League, which also furnished funds to defray the expenses of men who were sent out of their own districts on murderons errands. This will be pleasant reading to the honest workingmen of this country who have so liberally subscribed to ague funds for fa nfe jP 5 that D’oyley Carte’s real name Doyle McCarthy; that Signor Bianconi was originally Bryan Cooney; and John T. Raymond makes’ no secret of the fact that his father’s name was O’Brien, and et still we are tormented by the cry of |* more injustice to Ireland.” got enough to | nd tired | different pur- | A MOVING STRAIN. BY THE JUDGE'S CITY LymIsT AIR: FROM THE PILATES OF PEXZASCE, | Wiex the enterprising drayman’s not adriying, | ot ndrayin nen are not Ui MH the time All the time, They long with household goods to Go aMayii And to hunt the nimble dolla Wh xpress 1 Maying dd the dime, When the Brooklyn ferry lines run extra barges, Ext | And all New York is movin Ina day Tis then expressmen revel in their cha In their « And fatten on the merry first of May—ob ! When the shifting of the chattels ‘s to be done, To be done, A housewife’s life is not a happy barges in aday, When old carpets will r ew When the crockery gets sm: Transitu ; When the transfer people's little bills for cartment, Bills for cartment Are scasonably multiplied by tft the new apartment artment; hed in transitu, Plicd by two; © of your Lares and Penates, And Penates Has gone most unaccountably When the f You can readily coniecti what the date is, date is, raters biel so ation Has begun, not The housewife's lif happy one. ‘Tne longer we live the more A scientifi p says the molecules of which the aurora borealis is composed are sty by a pecu! ction of the particle other, causing the waves of vibration to elon | ate eliptically and to contract on their own orbits laterally, producing a seintilating cor- ruscation, which isin turn absorbed and then dispers ‘This settles it, and entirely de- | molishes the theory that the aurora borealis is caused by swarnis of fire-flies alighting on top of the north pole. we find ent. A Lapy poet asks: “ How can T tell him that I love him no more?” ‘There are divers ways. If he lives out of town, and economy n object, she might apprise him of the | depressing fact by postal card; or get her brother to tell him; or wait until a telephone | line is established; but if she wishes him to | receive the news, as if by magic, she should the state of her feelings to a couple of members of the sewing-circle. StREET-cAR conductors complain that old ladies punch them in the back with parasols when they want the ear stopped. If the con- ductor is'a total-abstinence man, old_ ladies | do wrong to treat him to “ punches ”—tho’ | perhaps he would not complain if they were whisky punches. It is a good thing to sit in the choir. One need not listen to the sermon, and he can gaze at the passing of the contribution box with complacency Tue Hindoos are said to have 300,000,000 gods. Mr, Vanderdilt only has about 200,- 600,000. comicbooks.com