Judge — January 13, 1883 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A NEW MEMBER FOR THE “THIRTEEN CLUB.” Old Mr. Bangs says that he don't betiere in the saying that if yousit on a table you will b that he is not superstitions he will ait on the table, FAREWELL TO OSCAR. A WILDE, WEIRD CHANT. Oscar from oar shores hath fled, (Dead Is the sanflower boom!) A velvet vest ani a necktie red, (The tily’s draped in gloom!) With breeches reaching to the knea, (At the banco man he swears!) Tiis anbarn hair so long and froa, (Four aces heat two pairs!) Silver backles on his shoes, (Oh. th stands on one leg!) Gone is his too too utter muse, (No more in ours, we beg!) For him a very long farewell, (Not blue {a the nose that's red!) For us no more of the wstheto *sel!,” (Put a foolseap on bis head!) The O'Slatterys ‘“ Receive. Irhas always been the custom of the C keep open house on New Year's day, Years when they lived In a six story tenement, when the O’Slattery was a coal-heaver, and welcomed his friends in the “old country" style. And the mater O'S! was a genial, kind-sonled woman, who had a cheerful word for every one; in those by-gone days when the gildy O'Slattery daughters chirped slang to thelr tough mascalino callers. Towards evening the floor was usually cleared of furniture and obstructing “overloaded” callers, and the abiqaitous accordion and ite wielding furnishes! orchestral accompaniment for the mazy waltz, which continued antil the landlady of the house camo np- stairs to taquire if they were “going to dance off the rooms beneath?” this was tho usnal hint for the last breakdown, and the eallors made their exit in va stages of noiso and inebriation. Bat time and castons are changed with tho O'Slai- terys. Tho days when O’Stattery heaved coal are for- gotten by that ambitions family ; and if any one should 80 far forget themselves as to relate any reminiscence of their former tenement-honso existence, it would be the signal for a total severance of such a one’s ac- quaintance for the fatare. The pater O'Slattery abdicated coal-heaving In favor of politics, hence the chann, ‘They now inhabit a brownestc fiona front in one of the he disappointed. To show | ‘own silo streets, Mr. Slattery being in th litical army,” as ho tells his friends, cannot with impu- ndam associates, who, however eable they may be to his patrician spirit at New Year's, yet are extromely asefal to him on and abont election time, ; her for- mer genial ty which ber elev: ner has given way 0 2 y dig ed position demands; an lecher, warmth itself compared to Mrs. 0's, when she me neighbor of tenement-honse memory. The fivo O'slattery danghtera have andergore a cor- responding ehange: stil! talk slang, bot ina tru aristocratic manner: they no longer waltz tothe music of the vulgar accordion, bat glide to the banging of piano. Tho above is intended as a prologne to what follows, According to the American custom, the O'Slatterys received on New Yoar's day. The mater and her five Jeal; and ag the thi passed the rub rlish virgin'ty fond parents hinted th sirable acquisition. soung man peared well enough pleased with the daughters, but th entious and Jumbo-proportioned prospective moth in-law was too much for their moral cou Atter being requested to “take so un ble young man was surrounded by tive p mates who cut off bis retreat un c Matters progressed smoothly all day u wien a few neighbors of unsavory tenement called; they were honest, simpl their especial delectation, whilst Ul trying to mash an eligible young man, Mrs. O's detailed the number of ¢ ity that bad called. “There wuz sivin risin’ young loyars (Mrs, O.S prided herself op this which she formally cal Six aldermin, two sinators, and the clargys tl to-eracy.” * Share, Mra. O'Slattery, do ye enjoy yours asthe time when me and you lived ¢ it was not w at a son thing.” inded men, and for 4 of qual: niver forgit us a iy 1.3 , me husband fs risin’ in the world, and if the Ditroerats conti: cesa, he says he will next elictio “Ye have got much fatter since ye quit walking and dowa six fights of stairs," continued the simple weir suc ove to Fifth avenoo after th “Yea, My are sald Mrs. O.S., grandly, while b tho danghters commenced to cou man siniled The irrepressible Daffy continued, this Now Year's night tive years, Mary Ann was about twenty-two thin, She and my J 7 We were all prutty full that night, op to know if you to stop the noise, or else pay the three TU never forgit the longest day ye weren't quite so fat thin for ye know the landlady w . Who was tryin was here seized wi what ho al istorieal fit; the youn inan on whom she had just made a favorable impre sion ran oat, and the room was quickly cleared. Hereafter whea any one calls on the O'Slatterys th must first send in a card for ins has increased somewh face got vi zh violently, “Do ye re and it was a toug! sober. Mary Ann she 0 to siparate ye ection before admit HE 18 DISAPPOINTED. comicbooks.com