Judge — November 25, 1882 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. “LEFT.” | Mr. 1.—Mr. Cain within Mr. [—Scoundrels? Clerk (superciliously).—Who t Supt, C—That was what Us Vos, Tom, I just tell you, old fellow | Mr. 1.—Mr. Cain. Mr. 1.—Bat | have always heard otherwise, Gentle. 1am going to settle at last Clerk.—Beg parion, but we are not aware of any | men read Tux Jepae. ‘And give up society vices, Mr. Cain, Mr, Cain to us isa myth, Superintendent | Supt. C. . Elegant, Do you know ‘And forget that I've ever t Cain, though, [ believe, is at leisure, He, probably, | they actually refused to accede to our demands? Our Tl marry @ girl who's got money . \ls were liberal, too. Take a basis of one bun- I've had one In my eye for some Mr. L—Yes. dred per cent. profit, All we asked was nlnety-cight Til make a staid husband; togethe Clerk.—Yoa will see him ina minute. He has just | per ceat.; they could have the other two, Yet Tur We will lead an existence sublime out to hunt up the last accident Ivar people kicked. Mr. J.—An accident? Mr. IL. (sarcastically).—The misers! (lerk.~-Yans, [believe so. Tritling affair. Only a | Supt. ¢ (eccitedly).—That was not all. We, the couple of poor devils of car-cleaners run over. Ha, ttan News Company,” were told, figuratively here he comes now. togo stand upon our beads!” Think of that! (Biter Sormmuxrespest Cats.) sex] toa compang like ours. Not content, tho Perhaps she won't have me? We've been friends for ve station, and looks, and all thos she ever could wish bere below Thase seen by her manner id Clerk. —Mere's a person to see you, sir. Supt. C.—Ite can see me, T'm here. -s along our Various routes where the paper Mr. 1.—This Superintendent Cain? could be bought, thus seeking to take trade away from Supt. : . The assassins! The—the — The name of the loved one I speak of? Mr. I.—May I ask you a few queations? Clerk.Beg, pardon, Saperintendent, bat Now, of coarse, Tom, you never will tell Supt. C—It you're a bloody newspaper duck yon | Supt. &—Whatt I think she’s a friend of yours, also- n't. We don't cheriah reporters except. of the—ah Clerk, —Another accident. ‘Tis the charming and gay Mollie Bell. World and Mail and Express, Are you of the Worl, | Supt —Where? You met her away in the summer ? or Mail and Express ? Clerk. —The semieweekly train upon th More retiring than she was befé ‘That she cares for me more than I thought for, And this makes me, you know, like her my You're engaged to her? Oh, what a lie Mr. L—No. Lam but a poor patron of your roads, | *88 running two days behind time, and ran Into th Announced in the papers this morn Tam a reading patron. Also a curious patron. | “Witch motor at Rector street. Twenty killed. And—ob. hang it! The devil! Good-bye; > | What I want to know is why certain papers are Supt. C.—The deace! However, the three empl “seas riknex. | kept for sale at your nen tons? upon that division are all deaf-mates, so that noth ——— Supt. CIs it any of your confounded business tog can be got ont of them. And, Charlee —" Mr. I—Not individaally, but as a self-constituted | (erk.—Ves. air. OUR POPULAR FARCES. delegate of the public I would like to know Supt C—If any blasted newspaper tlend comes Supt. C.—Oh, as Billy V. said, * nthe public.” | around here, Kill him. REPORTED BY “ED.” The public la too fresh, anyway. What do we care for | [Evi Stremiytespest Cats te @ passion. Mr. Iy- the public, except thelr far ciner also discrertly withdraws.) Mr. 1.—That is all right, but let me return to | Elerated R. R. Station at $ o'clock P.M. OUR NEWS MONOPOLIES. | original query. For example, why don't you keep Tae ; Mh all the evening papers, = freee | ‘clock “ait Mr. 1. ea Telegram. Scene First.—Platform of Elevated Railroad Station, | Mis eyes bulge out and his face grows ret. Articn- | Nevestany. Ain't sot no Telegram. Signs of “Gents will please not smoke or carry | ation appears difficult.) Mes Peat: lighted cigars,” nts will please not appear with Supt. C. (1eith digeulty), p what? Newsh in't got-no Post. unblackenéd boots,” ‘Gents must all wear bon- | Mr. J.—Tie Jupor Mr. 1. quets," “Gents without collars are requested to | Supt C. (hoarsely).—Keep Tar, Juport Keep that | Vernetoy.--Ain't got no News. take the streot cars," ote., freely displayed. | infernal, slonchy, tadly-colored mass of rot paper! | yy. J, -What in thunder have you got? ria hos lived, blackguardly, libelous sheet? That | Nereetoy —Mail and Express! Mail and Express! ITA RACTERS. venal, vile— | Only two cents. Full account of Cyrus W, Field's CRARAOTER: Mr. L—Hold on. [twas but a month ago that soa | wonderful success in journalism four ‘Copies sold last pt it, that all of your newsboys peddled it, Haven't t cutiuy athoateod uv det Mad and J ‘ i ht, out ny a thousand uv der Mai? and Express. IsTENDEST Calx, CLERK I heard them call out, “Here you are, Tir Jcpar on, bay quick Enter Mr. INQct wen. The best comic paper of the day. Free, fearless and | “yy, 7.1 will be blanked if I do. Newsboy.—Morning, papers? nt. Only (Gets into a car and reads the Un 's Gazette Mr. L—Yes, the Sun. Supt. €.—You did avery little | iy preference.) Newsboy.—Ain't got no Sun. while. It was p |, sir, scoundrels, {evrrats.) Mr. 1.—Truth ? Nevesboy.—Ain't got no Truth Mr, I.—Herald ? Neveshoy.—Ain't got no Herald Mr. 1—What have yon got? Newsboy.—The Worlt.’ Only two cents a daring of the campaign, ‘Ere yer are the World, all of th s‘ciety and sporting news, Full account ov Mrs, Lang try at the Brighton Beach races. All about Jay Goal! and the new cable! Mr. I.—Bat I don’t want the Wor/d. Where are the other dailies? Newsboy. —Don't sell ‘om, Ain't allowal to. Dey tida’t come down enough. Mr. I.—Didn't come down? Nevshoy.—Naw. Mr. 1—What do you mean? Newrstoy.—Dey didn't pay to the company. Mr. L—What company? Newsboy. Elevated, of course. Dey calls it the Manhattan News Company, but it is al rane, allin der family. Mr. I. —Do you mean that ? Newshoy.-Ain't got time to talk, boss. Got ter sell Worlds. Had six hundred at five o'clock tht morning. Nine o'clock now, Got six hundred yet re yer are the World, only morning paper sold on der Elevated Roads. [Tratn arrives and general confusion ensues. One person buys a World, to the newstoy's wonder. Said person next day is McDonalded to the Insane Asylum.) Scene Seconil. General Office of the Metropolitan Ele. be, un BY vated Railroad, Mr. Ixgct ee ae Cork IN THREE SCENES. [ScrentsTeNDEsT Cats has a fit for sereral minutes News. Isqrinen, Newspor. Statioy Agryt. St AN OPTICAL, DELUSION comicbooks.com