Judge — October 7, 1882 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Is this Oscar Wille? 0) t. He has a fom stance Fu ng Leaves” Ht going to elas OUR POPULAR FARCES. REPORTED BY “ED.” FRENCH FLATS. CHARACTERS. Tomy Dono. Mr. Verpast. Seeve.—Towny Doop's Apartments, Tommy D. v you. Mot Know you h and take it lant, —lat ck from your west yo ld fellow! glad to see red extremely, in fact! our, ery kind th ! Mrs. Dodd Mr, V.—In splendid b Tommy D.— Thanks. 1 come to eall upon ns 80 Sorry How's your wif Take a seat; havea ci around for a second. at do you mea with your folks, go to keeping honse, or whi Mr. V.—Tell you honestly, Tommy, neither, I mean to take a flat, and I came around to get your advice. Tommy D. (effusirely).—Get a flat Only way to live. Just seo my flat. Mr. V. (looking around).—Yes, it does nice one. But ts not this room pretty small? Tommy D.—Small? bless you, no! It’s capacions fora flat. You can't expect to have awhole park, you know. We ase this for a parlor, and I find it is roomy enongh for our comp: Of conrse there is not room for more than four gues time, but then the rest can sit out in the hall or wait on the stoop. The not space enough for a piano, because if I should get one you could not get through the room without being to crawl under it; and Iwill confess 1 would like to be able to erdant bend your head when you rise or you will knock down the ceiling, ‘The ceilings are a trifle low, but they make the room look home-like. Mr. V.—How's your bedroom? Tommy D.—Coulda't desire a nicer, Right in the middie of the iat; no wiadows; ain't bothered with daylight, have to burn gas all of the year aroand. Makes it a little hot in the summer, but we get a good breeze from the kitchen, Mr. V. ni large? Tommy D.—N—no, just cozy. to do—board, by all means, ntobea oblige ave a sofa, but—look out, Bedro The only way to get into the bed is to crawl over the foot-boand, bat one can get all the space they desire if they wanted to sleep on the floor. Oar burean we've got stored, but a glass upon the wall, and a couple of hook§ driven in the wall for towels ‘and brushes and combs does just as well. THE ROMANCE OF A FALL POEM, | fe te editor ine Thon we've got another rooin for company, jnst a trifle th stuck in it the other Brown weighs about three handred pounds, sed if he di t stuck fast. at could not get out. MW rl to kn day Vil bet somehow, an Got inte were ol him. Ie rather sleep k down part o! tually was mad would Ludlow did not like i two inc! a band-box room either. Billy is six he said he had to double up like a hi his feet in his mouth, metaphorical! Bill and op with Folk: A not JI suppose not. Is your kite Tommy D.—Rest Lever saw. It’s, mayhap, to for some. Every time the cook fries e: sit outside on the window-sill to give the frying-pan a ¥. By the way, we've burnt up a cook about once a week since we've been here. Mr. V.—Burnt up a cook! sh Tommy D.—Yes. You see to get out of the kite they have to jump over th siderable skill and acrobatic abi the store without se aaves money for u and it requires ¢ ity for them to clear ig fire to th Sort of for if the cook is burnt up before her month is "tha : * Mr. V.—Ah, you have a bath-room? Tommy D.—Certainly. El two feet long. If the hot wat and the builder had not forgotten to put in cold water, I should y my baths splendidly. As it is now, we kee refrigerator in it Mr. V.—Indeed. By the way, what was that 60 of a cubby-hole I stumbled into before I reached pmmy D.—You will have your joke, Verdant That is our dining Itis of our flat. W party of twelve the ot and only eight had to stand up, There are flats as commodious as ours. Mr. V.—Nice families live here t ir dresse nt bath-tub, too. would ran he largest a had not many Tommy D.—The elite, sit. The firat flat is occupied by the Van Kickemups, old Knickerbockers. The’ eldest son, Wouter Van Twiller ickemup, is poor fellow; but they keep bim Once in the while, thou rays around the house with a Nis folks always anid the janitor lassoos him befo cutting. Sad affliction for the Van Kickemups. Mr. V. (dryly).—Very Tommy D.—Mr. Muller has the second flat. Ni fellow, Muller. He's an actor, unmarried. Very so- Gives parties three nights out of the week after the theater is over. Begins at twelve, crazy chaine and ing for blood. much, ciahle, ends 8 a eallision on the Ferated Road? Oh, no. ument to blasted ambition, erected appreciative editor. This is atdawn, Has a very lively | they will sing till the milk: Mr. V.—Ahem Tommy D. Mr. V. Tommy D.—Yea Mr. V.—What Smith t Tommy D.S\ Mr, V, Tommy D. Mr. ¥ Tommy D. of fe nan comes around, Who has the third fat? You've heard of smith ? nds. Often tht or Smith, notist ? lays at Skinemquick Beat The sar enjoy a nice m He occupies the flat, and that new waltz of his to play for sixtey y for the if he keeps on I bel Mr. V.—1 81 Tommy D. live weeks. it will grow monotonous pull think so. The fifth and pied by the Caseys. asey will occ y convivial soul, and comes Every once in nd sleep with us, because Ca Only last night she was here, Casey tired six shots her with a revolver, but he was awful sorry for it this morning, poor fellow. Mr Y—yea. Tommy D.—Theee hundred Mr. V.—A year? Tommy D.—Heaven bless yo Really last flat, thy Qu ‘one above us, re. come How much does the flat cost you? no! A month. dirt. Recol ler factory in our re * name of our flats is the itor weara a uniform. If and move in the be: one front; t much; + Beaconsfield,” and. our j you want to be happy hire a flat! (et Ma, Veepast did not [et ee don't bother society TAIN] Mr. Jases G. BLatne has learned the art of concealing himself the right time, and when other people are in a hurry to show themselves off, is the burden of a newspaper article on the great Republican hero.” Blaine must be the shirt-stud of polities. If he hap- | pens to drop, he rolls under the bureau, and nobody get at him except Mulligan, (sausage) on. comicbooks.com