Judge — October 7, 1882 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOW ARE THE MIGHTY FALLEN! Dot Oafercoat. He waa full-blooded American, and he had seen secon@‘iand and “ hand-me-down” cloth- ing dealers in his life-time, and gone them one better. He entered the Israelite shop; and per- forming the Masonic sign manual of the Jew, by elevating his hand to the level of his ear and shaking it parallel to his shoulder, ex- claimed: ‘‘ How you vas, mine frendt?” “«T vas not so vell,” replied Moses. “Hf you a $45 dollar oafercoat vot vas make to order for a student, vot you vill sell me for dree dollars’ Moses looked at the would-be purchaser from head to foot. ag yon an orphan?” No, I vas no orphan, but I haf a brudder hattam street vot sells goods vot vas an orphan.” “I think you vas give me taf “Well, how about that overcoat, old man 2” suggested the prospective purchaser, in regu- language. c, vill you show the gentleman dot »order Brince Albert oafercoat, vot you puy vone veek ago mit dot student?” The coat was produced and thoroughly | inspected, “You vill sell dot coat for d asked the parchaser. “How conld Edo dot, mine frendt? coat vas cost me dwenty dollar, TE could not sell him to mine brudder for less than dwenty- fife.” “Perhaps your sister would take it off your hands for fiteen,” suggested the buyer. e dollars?” | lating for the future his own plays. Dot | “But [ haf no sister,” said Moses. ‘1 think you vas no puy dot coat; you vas come here mit shoaks on me.” “ Now, mine frendt,” commenced the buyer, again giving the sign manual, ‘vot vas the least monish vot you take mit dot coat ? Moses’ face brightened. ‘I vas selb dot coat for fifteen dollar, but if you efer dell a lifiin’ soul vot you pay for him I vas a ruined mau,” I haf loss dot gombination mit mine safe, | but I vas gif you a fifedollar note from mine hocket-book. ‘*T could not sell dot oafercoat for less dan aid Moses. ‘IT vas lose a ten- ill mit him ther.” | you take the V ?" asked the pur- dollar OW; | chaser, as he got to the door. “Isaac, you may do up the oafercoat for | the gentleman. “He is a beculiar frendt mit Z = me.” ga Query for the universal suffrage crowd : Ought not snails to vote, inasmuch as they are all householders ? Apvices from Paris relate that Sardou i: studying English, with the object of trans- We are sad to hear it. A sourNeY round the world can now be made for $800. This 1s reasonable enoug! but the price must come down considerably lower, or newspaper men will continue to cut across the fields the nearest way, instead of going around. ‘Tut life of a census-taker is not alw happy one. When the next census was in course of collection (this is not a contradiec- tion in tenses, and probably won't be for some years to come), a census-taker entered a Chatham street establishment, and pro- ceeded to collect the usual information, “What is your name?” was the first ques- you guller-plind dot you don't read c Moses by the sign*fa dree gullers— k and gold 2" “Ah! you are Isaac Moses, then? busine: What ‘*Vot peesness! Holy Moses! he vants to know vot peesness! Don't you got sum smell by dot long nose? Vell, I sells ole clothes.” ‘A! Tsaac Moses, dealer in old clothes! Now, what is yourSBeligion, please 7” “Vell, dose fellowgdon't know somedings atvall, I tells you my name vas Isaac Moses, Iesollg ole clothes, und“T-lives by C Pstrasa;-und you ask me vot vas iy rel "Yea, and I would be tuch plain answer to a plain qu “Vell, don't give it avay—I vas a Kva- ker.” A sMane boy was told to compare full. Ie did it in’ this way; Positive, ‘‘full, parative, “plumb,” superlative, ‘ stifl.” te title for the Arabi Pshaw ! com. ew and appropr rebel: It is not always plain theater. ‘The other night at one of the places where tights and dimity were attracting the eyes and opera-glasses of several old bald- headed water-melons in the audience, one of the young ladies in the wings remarked that they were sailing in under bare polls. iling even at the Wacyer hates Jewish music, Te abuses it on every convenient occasion. He will not admit that Jews have been good composers. He will indorse no Jewish notes. Now, let’s ruin him. You may say what you please about Phipps, “the meanest thief,” who robbed an ‘alms- house, but his excuse must be that he was a politician. There is not a politician alive who will not take all the soft soap he can get. Mr. VaNDERBILT’s horse-loying rival brought ont his pair of Work horses, ~~ ‘VANDERBILT'S fine horse, Early Rose, 1s not ‘A sinall potato. THE comets are coming. In fact, they are « themselves into a posse comet at us, “ As we charged,” says a war correspond- ent, “the bugles blew.” It must have been a trumped-up charge. Deer are very t their fights they are about as bad and mean as anything else. All of which goes to show that the beauty of the stag is only buckskin deep. ; but in comicbooks.com