Judge — September 16, 1882 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

paring a sermon on the “Divine misson of Moses,” when Bill Blukle entered without cere- mony, Blukle’s face did not wear a happy expression. aid the mi ” “How do you do, sir,” s arising.“ What is your name, plea “Tam Bill Blukle, the boxer of Dry Fork. T don’t reckon you recollect’ me.” “No, I don’t think that I ever had the pleasure of meeting you before. himself and wiping his face on a ti cat design, worked by a young lady and pre- sented to the reverend “you came out to Dry For! al.” “Yea, [ remember. “Yas, I reckon so. come up to the bench, pulled me through. [ gentleman, and got up a revi You persuaded me to and T staid till you houted body and done everything I could for the gooil of the concern,” loud as “And when I jined the church you talked to me a long time about the wickedness of the world. You said that whenever I was weak, to pray and I would receive strength. Wall, the other day [had occasion to fight a nigger. He was too strong for me and beat me up pretty bad. Remembering what you sa went off and prayed for more strength. “Then I tackled the nigger ag’in, but he whupped me. Then, thinkin’ that [I hadn't prayed with enough heat, I prayed ag’in, and ag'in tackled the nigger, but he got away with me. Then I found out that the nigger had been p in’, too. Now, sir, I want to know if a nigger is to have more influence than I've got. I know that he got strength, for cach time he hit me harder. “Tt struck me that I didn't get the right kind of religion, and as my reputation as a bo&er depends on whuppin’ that nigger, I thought I'd come in and git you to pray for me. Wish you'd represent how important it is for me to whup the fellow. Throw in a few words about my standin’ among the neighbors, and I don't mind if you say that I've al'ers voted the straight ticket.” “TL cannot grant your absurd request, my friend,” exclaimed the minister, ‘Such a thing is unheard of among civilized people.” “You don’t seem to get at the spirit of the thing,” said the visitor, leaning over andspit- ting on the tidy, which had fallen on the floor. ‘But can’t you write me out a prar? Jest say how important it is for me to git away with the nigger. Throw in something about good crops, and thankfulness, and many blessings, and wind up by requesting strength enough to lay the nigger ont.” “You shock me, sir, and I greatly desire to be left alone.” “Well, parson, I'll have to try my hand on you, Ireckon, Git down and pray for me, or T'll have to mix with you. You led me into this thing, and you've got to help me out, Git down there now, and send up a few petitions.” On, CER + Don't think for a moment Pm tight ‘on are blasphemous, sir. presence.” Leave my “Tl have to jump on you, cap'n.” “ Are you going ?” “Tsay I'll have to mingle with you.” “All right,” exclaimed the minister, and pulling out a drawer he seized a y “Don't be in a hurry,” remarked the pr er, cocking the weapon. “Yas, I've got to go. Reckon I'll have to take out a license to preach before I can git away with the nigger. Good-day,” minister was alone. Smiling bl turned the pistol and resumed his sermon,— Arkansas Traveler. “Ture!” exclaimed Joughnes he was hastily making his toilet in the morning, “I've buttoned my coat awry, and it’s a sign of bad luck.” Sure enough. At noon his wife asked him for fifteen dollars to pay for a new bon- net just sent home, and before night he was compelled to hire a plumber! A youne man, who has suddenly accumu- lated wealth by the death of a relative, con- templates visiting Europe to have his portrait painted by one of the old masters, and he would like to have the address of Raphael and Murillo, and a few other boss painters. He wants to get their terms. and the | ndly he ree | TAINLY, only been down to the lodge." A Cnicaco woman, to punish her husband for grumbling during house-cleaning, decoyed him on the roof of the hou nd locked him out. He told his friends, who stopped and called out, ‘! What-cher doin’ up there?” that ud invented a flying machine, and was ut to test its merits, In less than half an bout fiteen hundred persons had con- ewalk and in the street, ng to see him tly, and justas he had con- cluded to kill two or three of the crowd by jumping upon them, his wife's red head pop- ped through the trapdoor and exclaimed in stentorian tones, ‘Come right in here now, you old fool, or I'll knock you flat with the fire-shovel.” He went in, and the disappoint- ed crowd went away. Lr, : “Hello! Smith, pretty hot to -day, ven your 3 to be an inconvenient covermg * replied Smith, pausing to wipe the perspiration from his face dnd neck with his handkerchief; ‘it makes me wam- sutta speak.” “You horrid man, what have you been drinking?” she screamed.‘ Nothing strong, (hic), my love,” he said, “only kissengen.” “Kissing gin,” she returned; “how t fully and truthfully you express yourself.” comicbooks.com | | |