Judge — September 16, 1882 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

= > = — SS i THE JUDGE. He will never ask another already ezasp Somewhat Jealous. AFTER climbing three flights of stairs, dur- ing which operation he sat down on each landing and wept bitterly, a-small, sore-cyed, weazen-faced man, with a dog-collar in bis THE PATE OP THE WEATHER FIEND. hand, crept into a lawyer’s office in Indian- | apolis, The attorney was affable, and the man seemed surprised that he was so well treated, *Good-morning. I want to consult you on a mighty delicate subject. I'm—I'm—Fm afraid I shall have to sue outa writ. I shall have to get adivorce. I—I—I cau'tstand it any longer; this suspense, this doubt, this ; agony, is «killing of me.” Here he again burst into tears and wrung his birddike claws, “Why, man,” said the lawyer, “what's the matter with you?” “Oh, sir, I’m in doubt about my wife’scon- stancy. I wish I knew she was true to me. See that dog-collar?” The lawyer admitted that he did. “Yes; well, there was a dog in it last night, and now he's out. I almost know my wife has gin him toa man who keeps a second- hand store on our corner. I've watched ’em a good deal lately, and I'm afeared for the worst. Don't you think I'd better commence ‘on a divorce?” | For the space of two whole minutes he ex- | ecuted an involuntary ground tumblin ‘to git a separation, do yer; you bony old | ed man about hove * this weather" suits **Why, of course, you know more about the evidence than I do. Have you any proofs of her——" “Oh, ¥ empty dog-col : lots of ‘em. There's the , and——" Just then a large, raw-boned woman, with iron-gray hair, black eyes, and about forty- eight years old, darted into the office and grabbed the sore-eyed man by the coat collar. act, which the best man in Forepangh’s circus might have envied. The raw-boned woman had: her sleeves rolled up. and was evidently ronning on fulltime. She dusted off the big desk and swept the oil-cloth carpet with him, threw him over the chandelier, caught him on the first bound, threw him tothe third base, and got him back again to the home plate in less than no time. The lawyer was not at all anx- ions to umpire the game, so he danced around the room and executed. some fine specimens of artistic dodging. With one grand forte flourish, which ‘seemed to bring out her full strength to advantage, she swung the poor man over her head three times like an Indian club, stood him up in front of her, and held him up while she said something. “Thinking of a devorce, are yer ? Want shad? Now I'm a-going back to my work, and if you ain't in the shoe shop in fifteen min- ing Tom Wheeler's boots, what .l for three weeks, I'll come You don't want me to leave my work do yer” bin promi: *N.0-0-0, ol, no!" “Thought not. Well, you just waltz around 1. q., old man, or 1 shall have to come in. You hear me; my name's Zurilda. he weat out with the triumphal air of a year conductor, while the man fol- lowed her—with his e: When she wi safely gone the man heaved a large, three- ob, and looked abjectly at the lawyer, “What—what do you think now, docto: mean lawyer 2” stor Tho legal gentleman seemed wrapped in glo P 1, and remained silent. 1 slowly toward the door, suppose you would like something en- «1 comforting, wouldn't you?” * replied the man with an- ‘ob, and feeling of a long rent down the back of his coat. “Well, it's this, You needn't feel at all ous of that woman.” pink not 2” “Not in the least.” “Oh, thank you, sir. Perhaps I'll catch up with the dog, and if I do, 9 great load will be taken off my mind.”"—Cheek. little man other convulsive SMALL we ever hear the last of that estate nonsense? ‘The Governor may as well surrender all he has got, for the lawyers have fastened to it, and he ought to know them well enough to understand that they never let up short of all there is. prague A MAN inag take offense and not be deemed a thief, but if he carries it too far, he will get into trouble just the same. A THOUGHTFUL person says: “A man should never spend more than he earns. If more goes out than comes in, he will never be- come rich.” This is not true, however plaus- ible it may appear. ‘There are men who, on ry of $2,000 a year, bave spent $5,000 annually and retired from office rich. a ee oS WISE SAYINGS ILLUSTRATED. “The man at ork tn the dock, at the forge or tn the ‘unconsciously furroncs is often a picture’ of grace, ‘weantipan.” comicbooks.com