Judge — September 9, 1882 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Shop Girls. Somesopy has said that shop girls are all alike, that they look alike, dress alike, and act alike; but that is only one man’s opinion, and, ten to one, he was bounced by one of them, and so sours against them all, True enough, the majority of them affect the cart-wheel hat and polka-dot dress; they trip along with the same patterns of hand-bag, in which is stored their frugal lunch, but it is only a matter of taste in the one case and appetite in the other. They are not all alike, however, any more | than butterfles are. dressed with elegant taste, while nearly all look bright and cheerful while going to or com- ing from work; and none of them are so poor as to earn the sneers of soured beaux or the | flippant remarks of prigs. Of course, being honest and virtuous, they do not compare in the fashionable world with the watering-place belles, nor is it their mission or desire to do so. ‘They do not slip ont of one end of their dresses and foam over their sets at swell balls; they do not exhibit so much human tenderloin, or may not know the differ- ence between the taste of champagne and flesh-colored lemonade, but they are truer and better than their fashionable sisters are. They make better wives, mothers, and helpmeets than they do, and for this we will honor them, even if they do show a few feminine weak- The man or woman who sneers at them sneers at their betters, and long live they to keep society from the rottenness into which it would fall without them. ore nesses. A Jew d'Esprit. Tue JupGe, which has more good nature than savagery, and which looks upon all | ridiculous subjects with a quiet eye to humor rather than with one tinged with yellow bile, has pictorially and editorially displayed the ragged edge of many coteries of society. Among the persons who have been prom- inent in that social bad behavior which calls for public criticism have, unfortunately, been some Jews, who have forgotten to be decent. Some are beautiful and | ! | for THE JUDGE. We know many good Jews who are glad be- cause of these criticisms on the lower orders of their race, just as any gentleman of any race is glad when the loud and vulgar among countrymen are checked in their mad- ness, But Tae Jupce has now the honor to pre- sent to the world, unfortunately without his portrait or his phrenological description, the champion Jewish ass, which Moses, in the Seven Commandments, warned all other Jews —meaning Barnums among Jews—not to covet for their menageries. who calls himself Adolphe Cohen, is one of those Jews who harm their fellow racers in this and all other countries, making it a matter of pride on the part of good Jews to be wary of society for fear that they may see the silly, mad buffoonery of the descendants of the ass coveted by the circus managers of Moses’ time. This ass, who outbrays the longest-eared of any race, who discounts the fog-horn, and who, for barsh loudness, could knock down a half dozen walls of Jericho, writes to us: “We are the people; we are the power by our superior brains. fashionable places by our money acquired, not by theft, but by our superior ‘intilect’ when compared to Christians.” This Cohen has just exactly the intellect which makes Jews derided because a few asses of their race cannot talk ten words with- out lugging in the word money. He says, “We now control New York trade.” How decent Jews will revile him for not speaking of ctures, books and nature, instead of that vulgar trade! The ass, not humble as the one that was ridden into Jerusalem, bra: “We will own New York before twenty years, every inch of That expression will raise a howl among the respectable Jews, | who have an idea that somewhere near a hundred years ago the Americans, in ragged blue coats and with flint-lock muskets, drove the greatest nation of the world— from Manhattan Island, and are not likely to be whipped by a few cowardly brawlers with fish-horn voices. Cohen goes on to say that Christians will then be hewers ot wood and slaves of the Jews, and that we are only fit such, Will Cohen plea send us his photograph? We have a tame kitten that we would like to show it to. ‘Amerie: says Cohen, clanging his big watch chain, and twisting up his ears, “is ourhome. How many like you we have driyen to the wail, un- able as they are to compete with us.” This diatribe of this debris of Jewish society will be heard of with great pain by our re- spectable Jewish citizens, who are pained by the vulgar, dirty, conceited, and ignorant braying of small jackasses like this specimen puppy, Cohen, He has done them great harm, The low Jew, like the low of all races, pulls down the strata above him, He isa Samson of vulgarity. Ir the bald-headed eagle 1s the emblem of American liberty, where does the honor for the bald-headed man come in? The variety girls say he double discounts the eagle for liberty. This poor fool, | | Aye, we control the AFTER VACATION. Wet, here we are, back jn the city: Our summer vacation is done. Of course, we must say ‘tis a pi We've had such a world of fun Are we sorry i's over? Yes, But September's the season for town, So we're back, as brown as a berry — By the way, what berries are brown? For a month we have tasted the heaven Of a farm-house, with countey board; In an attic, just nine feet by seven, Have our trunks and bodies been stored. ht the fies in the morning, 4 0¢8 and things at night, And been roused by the breakfast-bell’s warning At aix, to our specebless delight. We have eaten of chickens of various ges, though mostly mature: have inbaled the air non-malarious, And drunk of the spring water pure. And with confidence, too, all unshaken, We have poured down the milk as the thing. Though the ctice, unless I'm mistaken, Would very soon dry up the spring. w We've beom tanned and burned and freckled, We've followed a stream all day one little trout, faintly speckled, Which we afterward threw away. the sake of some other chap’s siste We've rowed in the scorebing sun, Till our hands were an a Oh, yes, it’s been glorious fun. jons fan to try vainly F a month to find something to do, To devote one’s energies mainly the whole thing was through; To find that you're one of the apers Of Fashion, which long you've deeried, To get only yesterday's papers, And beefsteaks smokily fried. Of course it's an infinite pity That we couldn't longer have st: But now that we're back in the city The best of it ought to be For myself, my month's recreation This trath on my has impresses That ‘ti mmer vacation " That a man is in most need of rest! : —VANDYRE BROWS, (8. YP. S07. maie, fer his “ai Saw Enough. SUMMERBREEZE took the old lady to the opera the other night, and going home he vented his disapprobation of the low-necked toilets in the following language: “1 don’t think much of them women as go tothe opera and expose themselves as half the women did to-night. If they want to make a show of themselves they'd better get on the along with the rest of the actors and actresses, There ain't any need-of such dressin’, and I think it’s rather vulgar.” | ‘Oh, you shouldn't judge them too harsh- | ly,” said his wife, thinking of her younger days. “They probably mean no harm, and you know you cannot see their hearts. “Couldn't from where I was settin’,” lacon- ically replied the old man, ‘but I saw all I guess ‘twas proper for an old married man to gaze on.” stage, O'Doxovan Rossa seems to have encoun- tered a foeman worthy of his steel in John Devoy. On with the dance. comicbooks.com