Judge — September 9, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Jay GOULD ought to be the last man in the world to squeal when he gets taken in, seeing wo many “suckers "he has taken in in his | tite and yet he is making a great ado be- cause Frost-Bite Cornell got lum a little foul a reecnt pool. Shame on you, Jay! Brace up, and take in somebody else, in or to get square, or buy a governor of your own, so that he will sign whatever you want to without kicking. Iv is said that it has been rather a dull and eason at Coney Island, Perhaps Maybe th yunts for the of the landlords down there, Prob- le have paid them accountfor the five It may also account for the last ye: unk ten cents out of you fur. Yes, it must be all on account of the unprotit- able season ; and because more people do not consent to be swindled, they feel justitied in getting even on the fev t we wish they could have one good son, just to see how ON TIME EVERY TIME. they would act towards innocent pleasure- Artist—at work upon a laniscape— Oh, if 1 coutd only find a bull to introduce into this seekers. fi —= ] : Cuear politicians are doing all they ean to A Chicago Tribune Mystery. | ‘And of bash, my ndant of Ahashue- | jake the political pot boil, but are not able — rus, what then?” he cried, in thunder tones. | to accomplish much, ‘The regular old stokers “Be brave, Medill!” Darting darts from the sunning sun car-| jayen't n hold yet. A somnolent, soothing, soporific, shanghac | ed on the Fort-Dearborn-carry-ne-back- | wind was sedatively soughing from the fertil. | Stoop gloves of Wilhelmini, tke hash hashing | in Chicago harbor, rt descendant of Ahashuerus, as she mutterly | ag ; rampant, ridiculously unding | muttered: vor: havest esr incenk rumpus resonantly receded, as Mr. Joseph waite ane peer haves hash, Joseph, - Medill pointed petulantly at the pouting sails, | Shall soon be Daki-headed. fecceanene|l Ge 4 and : 1: R u y Then the two were parted on this side of | WHEN is a girl like a sewing machine? ene the grave no more forever. —[From the novel | When she has a “feller.” Talk about your | of “Be Good, Surah,” by Joseph Medill. conundrums ! ‘Tue long drouth has been broken at last, and yet we haven't heard which camp-meet- ing claims the honor for it. “Clew the main, middle, and mizzen braces, and drag anchor, Wilhelmini.” Wilbelmini was the steward She dragged the aching, active anchor athwart the chicken deck, and folding her -blue hands across her sunset nose, deris- y declamated: “Not tor Joc.” amered, until the 1 Wilhelmini’s clockly clothing s she pranced the mizzen chicken and the sometime sun set under a gos- ‘Then Wilhelmini (darling, delightful, dish- a-bill Wilhelmini), with a Fort-I rbor a- : 9. Madison-Street-back-alley miasmatically meandered athwart the with thwarts of mealancholy, and peeped “Be brave, Joseph, be brave.” Mutterings were mutterless, as Joseph jawed the wind, and stood upon the mi deck with his philologically phrenolog frownings at Wilhelmini’s ambushed hair, “Of what wert thou dreaming?” demanded eph the Joss, “Of thy breakfast, Jehosaphatless,” she utterly uttered, as she descended from the | deck, decked in her duds, to the cold | \ comicbooks.com