Judge — September 9, 1882 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Levi, that we | eased scavengers in hot Syria, while they are, would compel the | when fed on milk and corn in this temper Christians and the | climate, where boards of public works Americans to have a | the plas street-cleaning swine, very 1 plenty of p-defy- | cating. Levi, four. 1 hogs fed on corn ing, forbidding | and buttermilk, are as cleanly as two-legged Jewish noise, that we | hogs fed ona Fourteenth street chicken would sound the loud | made out of veal four days killed, timbrel, and force the | You ask me, Levi, whether I believe that ram's horns down | Joshua commanded the sun to stand still, their ears and the | Yes, Levi, he did. And it stood still, But loud garlic down | Joshua was not the only Jew who ever per- their throats. | formed the mirac ‘The other day, at Long But, Levi, let me | Braneh, 1 saw you, Levi, the loud branch sk you a question; | of our family, with your diamonded, oroided let me put it to you | friends, shouting so londly that for a mo- as strong as limber | ment I thonght the sun-stood still in am: limberger; aye, as | ment, while the surf hung back, and the ai loud as the baritone | cordions were silenced, and the katydids garlic and the scent- | responded not to one another. 1 could not edfish, Before hand, | even “hear myself think,” Levi. An Levi, know thou that | can Christian lady, who was standin, the God of the Chris- | by, while 5 airs, tians is one of love, Tam Bae ) sat while the One whom you bellowed, and yet you expected her to you implore to help admire what was not gentlemanly, but hog- = you in your s gish. She did not admire you, but had con- sions is an imagined | tempt for you, Levi. lady gave a party youl of warfare, who last winter next door to your house, and did long ago permitted not invite you, because she thought you were ° it to be said that the | vulgar, Do you think she will love you so Fone eee eek naar ctr yee enue er 2™ user of the sword | much, Levi, that she will invite yon next win- y Bra must p poby the ter? Yet, Levi, 1 am afraid that she will = sword, not invite me, either, because I have the mis that not a drop could > through. we | Leri, whnt olive branches have wo taken in | furtune to he your broth ‘ouldn’t repair the 1 ill next day. | our hands to charm and win these quiet SOLOMON. Since that time I ased a plumb. | Ame christians, withal? My dear t =—== cr anything he asked for, ‘They can have | why do we hope to subdue them with loudr Wo will be king of the © Skirmishins proscenium boxes if they want ‘em.” of voice, when we might be loved by subduing — Fund,’ will he free Ireland? “But some money comes in.” | our voices? We “Well, yes, the school-ma’ams and sewing- 1, be and the clergy | cause we do not pay > they og, and must pay. | wish to resign or We've got a pretty good grip, too, on the | concede one atom freight-handlers and laboring classes, and we | of that which is y on countrymen and st stomake up | obnoxious to lary accounts. All that bothers me is, | other people. If does all the: mone that the dead- | we sit on two uy If we are sombody must | chairs, we expect be benefit Pat this question for me to | to beloved by the the public, in the papers, my dear fellow: is this somebody?” is ruthlessly I passed musingly in, and, settling myself cheated out of in orchestra chair C. 1, said to myself, as [| one of the chairs. looked round on the F of dead-he is against hu- | man or lady who | in the house: Evidently, this ‘somebody’ is ! man nature, Levi; not the laundress.” and when we de- mand that they Gog, Magog and Synagoggles. | Slll_ be some- thing more than Dear Levi:—We are not of the refugee | human in their tribe from Russia, nor do we revamp the | love of us, we put patchless pantaloons of Chatham street, Levi, | them intoa frame we would enter society. Long ago we found | of mind which that Christian society was and is exclusive. | compels them to One coterie of Christians excludes another; | call us pork-hat- but none of them are fond of us. I have been | ing hog: looking into the matter, Levi, and I find that | Many of our the Christian thinks that we talk loudly, mak- | brethren are no ing much noise in public places. We blame longer ham- the Christian American, for we cannot under: | haters, because stand why he does not feel contended with our | swine were un- ES . - No. 4. Home at last, Digby finds tt unpleasant not to be recognized by his oven wi meaningless noise. You told me not long | wholesome, ae dan ey Sid carry at her threat af honing hime entra. oe comicbooks.com