Judge — September 9, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i ah ahr at Lord Roscoe as he appeared ina bathing suit recently at th AT CONEY ISLAND, DOWN THE BAY. Oriental Hotel bathing teach, The artist cat TWO JOLLY DOGS. THEY GO OLT FOR A DAY'S FUN. ‘These jolly old dogs were Clymer Klymn and Falcon Fly, ‘They were both of them old bachelors, and | were well fixed in this world’s vile lucre. They had been friends from youth up to the present writing. They had been playmates and school-mates; they had both been troubled with calf love for the same speckled, red-head- ed girl, but when she gave them both the shake and married a song-and-dance artist, all the bitterness of jealousy departed from their hearts, as a; ch other, and they became | ‘aster friends than ever, both vowing celibacy | and agreeing to be woman-haters. From school they parted for a while, and it is not known what love adventures they sev- | erally indulged in, but they came together in after years, unmarried and seemingly as true to each other as ever, ‘They went into business, not together, but | parately, and prospered, and at the age of forty-five each they were hale, rubicund, bali: headed specimens of “our first fa milies,” en- | vied by every marriageable female in town. Occasionally Klymn and Fly went off on a little excursion together, when they lived over again the days and adventures of youth and voted themselves solid, sensible fellows. This year they concluded to go to Coney | Island for a day’s fun, and, everything being arranged, they started, smiling and happy. It is an easy thing to get from Gotham to Coney Island, and, as a general thing, it is an easy thing to get back to New York again, but this cannot always be depended upon. “ We will bathe together,” said Klymn. “We will feast together,” suggested Fly. “And our this world’s goods shall be ed together.” “Yes. We will have an old-fashioned time. It shall remind us of our school days, of the rackets of tong ago, eh?” “All the time—every time!" They arrived at Concy Island in good con- dition, and proceeded to let their natures bubble; to let wi there of youthful effervescence escape in the old w: speak. ‘They first thought of the bounding fluid that was swashing so temptingly upon the beach, and while agreeing with his friend that a plunge into it would be the proper caper, Ply suggested that it would be dangerous to so to t into so much water, without an internal counteraction. ad went for the They agreed on the point counteraction, after which they went for the | surf, It was very high that day, tumbling upon and pounding the sandy shor as though de- termined to knock it out in three round But this only pleased the bachelor friends all the more, If there was world, as they contidingly informed other, that they loved, it was a high and ing surf. It couldn't be too high, never ! Now, both of them were indi anything in the ent swim- mers, even in smooth water, but they we too brave and noble to give themselves away, and so they went in, Klymn took a roller, In they went, and do Both out of sight. n they went Breakers are uo respecters of persons. ‘They didn’t scem to know the ditlerence betwee Klymn and FI One of them caught Klymn amidships an stood him on his head in the Another forced a quart of salt water down Fly's throat, and broke his internal arrange- ment all up. and. Then a couple of malicious waves took the | friends and banged their heads together, the result of which was that they were both nearly drowned before they recovered con- seiousne Then Fly went for Klymn, Fly was mad, and accused Klymn of trying to drown him, Klymn retorted. They were standing on bottom, with the breakers dashing over them. “Falcon, 1 won't stand it!” said Klymn, and just then a roller whopped him over, and stood him on his head. ul. Apollo in the suef gets surfeited aul langhed at, nd Fly took a header, | Fly was just breaking out into a laugh, when a comer" covercd hit, and. scatter- | ing him around on the beach, covered him with sand and seaweed, and lef him high and dry on the sandy shore. But they finally mc “Fly, you are a villain!" face to face, id Klymn, “Kiymn, you are a cow—a sea-cow !” “Do you dare-~—" No, but a breaker dil, and Fly was out of sight for at least half a minute, but he was finally thrown up upon the sand. You see there was no undertow were flopped up on the sand re: over a barre: to be resuscitated {Fly and Klymna w tossed about and banged together several time It was too much for friendship, and now, aftcr that day’s “fun,” they don't speak toeachother. ‘They even swear that they never knew each other, and all on account of that day's fun at Coney | Island. nd victims ly to be rolled No Difference. “What's the ditt enee between a wax} mustache and a young lady's crimp net asked Miss Summerbreeze’s youngest brother | of her beau, while he was waiting in parlor. “Well, [ portant su ly never gave this hig! ject. very much consider replied the young man rather pompously. “Never did, eh?” snorted the young hope- ful. ‘Well, when you and sister sit on the back parlor sofa, I'll be darned if I can sce any difference.” | Wuere is that Fenian Skirmishing Fund? ‘This is the question that is now agitating the | loud-mouthed enemies of England, one party accusing the other of crookedness genuine Trish qua common enemy It is a elas it stands, and “the don’t appear to be in much danger on account of the “Fund.” What valiant warriors these wranglers are, to be sure; how completely calculate | govern themselves! 1 by nature to comicbooks.com