Judge — July 15, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MISSOURI ROUNDELAY. (PROM THE PAPERS OF THE LATE JESSE JAMES, ESQ.) 1 bandit bold, with a lust for knows no fear; J rob and slash, aud plunder and gash throughout the Joy’ My favorite food's gunpowder and blood, washed down with whisky neat; Aud Pd rather kill than have my tll of Delmonico din- ners to eat ow a man to stab, Or @ nice old wo With my bonay bri Till she ceases to squeal, And her gore dyes her red as a crab, crab— And ber gore dyes ber red as a crab. old, and a heart that us year, You should pops on the passen The way I do it is quit fully aw-ful The laities squeak, and the gen their wallets rich; gather them in—the diamond pin, the watches and rings, and sich. ny inien as 1 board a train, and my ers pull too two; It, indeed, is just aw- so meek, pass out And Oh! trot out your boodle, quick, Or my knife in your rites I'l stickt Or, in joyous fra Acoli lead colic Stir up in Stir up your parts sto-ma-tick! yur parts tm. all my household joys are xsthetic | 1e with th and chastely gay h meat, and there's always a seat es our w ad thous ther pla a dollar th Jon’t say grace. In fact, in Missouree It’s just such gents as me As rul And well may boast They're the pride of our g They're the pride of our have prayers w when the | For pa wore th hasn't forg I may be off, And there's neve I may collar to which she roast, ‘at countree, tree— reat countree. PosTScRIFT, (Communicated through Madame de Limerick, secenth daughter of a secen Latties, 504 eventh son, born with a cant, ry’s bolt, froman army Colt, I was kickel | Aud now I frolic, on wings at sions of | | and it looms up grand—jast whisper home | Jack Sheppard and 1 the golden Uhrot to them, has it fixed, you see, to capture ~aur “Too much ¢ says the old saying, | “killed the dog.” But this saying could never be applied to our railroads, for, if a living soul is killed on the track it never arises from too much care, but the want of it. re WE are often asked, but a name?” Yes, but it is a name that friendship is frequently called upon to put on the back of a bill. What is friendship | Tue ancients raised pyramids ; during the middle ages our ancestors raised eathedr but in modern times it would be dificult to say what we raise—unless it is the wind. THE JUDGE. ACCOUNTING FOR IT. “How strange on bh Erery time Peter ¢ tT suppose Everynopy has heard abont selfimads men, but it may not perhaps be equally well known that there are ready-made tailors. But there are, neverthele A cITY contemporary recently remarked that there seemed to be a blight in the crop ical talent. ‘This appears odd, when we come to consider the promise—in the way of ears. of rising poli Oe of the slang expressions for money is “the ready;” but there is a very wide diffe ence, as creditors can wel? tell you, between tie ready and ready money. A Little book has been published, entitied “The Artof Dining.” There is unquestionably an error in the title. ‘There is no great art in dining that we know of, though there is some. to be sure, in the practice of dining out. A conresPoxpENT of philosophic turn of mind Wants to know which of the metals has the most attraction, Tue JUDGE unhes tingly answers—Gold, Coxsiperin the variety of smells that ema- fe from that delectable region known as The Swamp” in this city, what a capit speculation the neighborhood would be could only be made to pay one per (s)cent. ni y say. is the best sauce; and . perhaps, for the reason why some hungry people are so impertinent, Do flowers converse? Why, of course; or clse what is the meaning of the “flow of specch?” Besides, we have a standing proof of the conversation of a flower in its (s)talk. mes home from his lodge he comes to bet with his hat it is some more of those Masonic doings.” | WE notice that one of our Sunday press men objects to the word “ Bohemian, plied to certain—or rather uncertain—mem- bers of tue journalistic profession. Possibly he might manage to the title | | “Moravian,” if he would adopt th | and Aabits of that highly resp (No charge for the suggestion.) as ap. anged to manners ple class. Dauxken men sec double, it is said. THe E happens to be acquainted with an up. sharp who is so exc Ju town temperance sober that he sees lingly only the halves of objects. Cerious thing that—that the most yarru- lous speakers, no matter whether in public or private, are invariably those who, according to their own admission, are “ unaccustomed to public epeaking.” How to brew mischief: Accuse the brewers of drugging their beer. A “SPOILER of the eypti Arabi Bey. ‘Tne type of conceit: An author having his love letters printed. Rock-1T apparatus: The cradle. | Racine query: Is a fiery horse the best animal to put the pot on? PRESUMABLY the Ottoman Empire is so call- ed beause so many other nations habitually | sit on it. ‘Tne sooner a raw day is done the better, Capitat punishment: Being compelled to spend the summer in Washin ll comicbooks.com