Judge — July 8, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WASHINGTON. “Cour tell me, pop, of Washir The kind of men they say are I mean the one who proudly up in U well, my son, Ill gladly t Of that gi zoo and true. Who fought our battle ton rare; h thick and thin ‘id Cornwallis on the hip.” They say he And that he And that hn And never hooked his ma’s n as 80 Very good, over told a lie, never swored a swore, bod man, my hoy y fter all— ) “haps with less of that old br Which we all got through Adam’s fall But when at Monmouth things went wrong, When Lee's bad conduct made him sore, He showed that h then, And badly ripped and loudly sw SWALIA Park Lodgers. It is dangerous for a decent person to sit down on our park seats, so filthy have they from the continued lounging and sleeping of dirty tramps upon them. We once believed that our parks were set apart and beautified for the use of our citizens, but late decent folks have been out of them by a set of vagabonds too lazy to work, too cowardly to steal anything of more onsequence than a bone or the contents of a swill-barrel, and too filthy to associate with decent dogs, or anything but their own kind, Why this is allowed admits of but one ex- planation. The Park Commissioners are too much interested in their own selfish purposes nd to what they are paid for doing, and it is high time that our citizens beeot crowded to properly at rose and made a kick that would reach closer | than the coattails of these corrupt negligents, These tramps are not citizens, they are not even decent strangers, and why should our beautiful breathing-places be polluted by them? It is not charity to allow them to pass their days and nights in these parks, for char- ity is thrown away upon such lazy vagabonds, and so it becomes a simple outrage upon the respectable portion of the community who pay for these parks, They have the advantage in crowding, for they are so filth begrimed and vermin-inhab- ited that a cur dog would instinctively avoid them, and so they win the victory, and the commissioners do nothing to prevent it. The “tramp question” may be a hard one to solve, but so is the rat question, You eannot coax either of the nuisances to go away; but the vermin inZesting our homes can be of, and so could these social vermin, ii only had somebody to take hold of the matter in a similar way. Don't be afraid of them, gentlemen; none of them have votes. New York to California: “How would you like to swap your Chinamen for our Italians?” a Bergh is looking after the poor horses dur: ing this sweltering weather, and they no doubt wish he was an ice Bergh instead of being a nice Beryh, “To! for the country!” and the what the country needs about now. just IF thetpolice do not ‘owe it to themselve: they certainly owe it to the citizens residing | on Union and Madison Squares to clean out | the nest of dirty, lousy, foul-mouthed tramps who lodge there at night and make mornings hideous by their brawls and vulgarity. We have dog-<atehers ; why not have tramp- catchers? ON account of the number of colors worn by the ladies this season, Slobson says they should he called the chromatic sex. D. M. BeNNert around the world, hero and a noble man, in spite of Comstock and his soap-boiler. returned from his trip SHapows are not such unreliable things after all. One of them cast upon the window- curtains of a Vermont deacon, not only caused trouble in the family but his expulsion from church. Those who proclaim themselves so much better than their neighbors should be careful where their shadows fall, especially when another shadow falls along with it, infallible hair restor- s bald as an ice pitcher, while another | discoverer of an elixir of 1 rranted cure-all ~has been suffering for ten years with a fine set of mixed diseases. Queer, isn’t it? discoverer of an aw SULLIVAN may be a terrible slugger, but ‘Tue duper will bet a glass of lemonade that if he were bald-headed he couldn't knock a tantalizing house-fly out in four three-minute round: He has proved himself a | Our peaceful rural districts as they are liatle to be infested if this ussian erodus of the perseented Jonessy says he drank fourteen quarts of froth at Coney Island last Sunday in order to get one glass of lager beer. bear in mind that the bar-keepers down that way are working in the onesby should ase of temperance. THE stacks of empty barrels in front of lager beer saloons show which way the thirsty cat jumps this hot weather. WE have not been swimming yet, but shall do so as soon as that last iceberg is melted. A REFRESHING thing to do this weather would be for New Yorkers to pray for a plenty of ice next winter to break down the wires of those clectric-lighting companies who refuse to do as Ex i es should be labeled ‘Tnenk is a fellow next door who is evident- ly rehearsing for a Fourth of July oration. We have no idea where it is to be delivered, but whatever locality receives it will get a red-hot one. We overheard a sentence or two the other day, something like this: * Fellow. citizens: One hundred and ten years ago toalay our forefathers fired a shot that startled an enslaved world into new life, and now we stand before that world the greatest, grande republic ever known. We are big in every- thing. The world cannot match us, while we can lick the combined world in the flop of a sheep's tail!" ‘The entire oration must be worth hearing. AN INNOCENT SARCASM, Barber to customer, who, awaiting his turn to be shaved, is fanning himself vigorously with a copy of the New York Herald: ‘There are plenty of fans lying around the shop; why don’t you use one instead of that newspaper Customer: “‘ Beeause there's more ‘wind ' in this paper.” comicbooks.com