Judge — June 10, 1882 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE DARK SIDE OF AN THE JUDGE. ARTISTS LIFE. Ronvst Eprton—(lo comic artist, who has just receired news of his facorite grandmother's death).— Ta like to hare you get me up a funny page for our extra number—something real funny—and youll hare to hurry to get it done in time, A Social Mix. BY JOHN BLACKBRIDGE, Ir is undeniably the case that since the “World Employment Bureau” entered upon its task of supplying social circles with first- class proficients in conversation, music, the fine arts, lobster-salad and Pommery Sec, the tone of our evening-parties and state-dinners has been greatly clevated. This result largely owing to the superior exertions of two bright intellects, sct off by polished manner: and incarnated in noble and towering pre: ences. Need I say that I allude to Hokey Aul and the writer? Between Hokey and myself there mi depicted such a parallel or antithesis al- lust drew between Casar and Cato; Alison between Napoleon and Wellington; and Dickens between Muggleton, and Dingley Dell, as represented respectively by Dumking and Podder. ‘Thus, if Hokey Aul has more years, Blackbridge has longer ears; if Hokey has more sense in his head, Blackbridge has more dollars and cents in his pocket; if Hokey carries a greater weight ofgold-rimmed glasses on his nose, Blackbridge carries the contents of more glasses beneath his belt; if Hokey has more vanity, Blackbridge has more pride; if Hokey rarely walks upstairs (preferring the elevator), Blackbridge is rarely kicked down them; if Hokey found literature in New York ht be a mere pile of bricks, and leaves it a fabric of | polished marble, Blackbridge found draw- poker in the same city a mere pile of sixes and sevens, and leaves it so that any one can play his hand as though he held a straight flush. — In short, while it may be said of Hokey that it would have been money in his pocket if he had never been born, it may, with equal truth, be predicted of Blackbridge that if drowned him at his birth in a water-bucket, society would have made a profit on the trans- action. It was on an inclement evening of the win- Bureau as aforesaid summoned Hokey and jestic presence. ‘You are invited, in fact, contracted for, this eveving, gents both,” he said, “to the palatial mansion of Senor Bos- cobello Bolaro, lately arrived from Cuba un- der suspicious circumstances; but very heavi- ly loaded, anda man worth knowing. The fees have been paid in advance, and here are your respective moieties, which you will probs bly need in order to procure your nightly Mowance of such claw-hammer coats as the Lotos Club has left in Canal street, and white neck-tie. The latter must be lawn. Our regulations forbid, positively, the twelve-for-a- quarter style. Let me caution you, Hokey, not to attempt to waltz; and as for you, Blackbridge, do not, I beg of you, try to put more than three bottles of dry cham- pagne under your belt during the festive evening. You will be announced as Lord Derry, an Irish peer, whose slight Galway in- flection will suit the versatile Hokey, and as the Honorable Thomas Snafileton, of Bath, England, a younger son of the Earl of Nozuch, whose characteristics will sit lightly on BI: bridge. Lord Derry will, with a slight Gal- way inflection, deplore the Phenix Park mur- ders, while Blackbridge may describe the en- thusiasm with which his English countrymen unions. ing ‘Thus you can help to make the even- pass pleasantly at Senor Boscobello try month of May that the Redacteur of the | If to the apartment tenanted by his ma- | practice draw poker at their watering-place re- | Bolaro's, and he will remain a steady cus- | tomer of this bureau; and you will often enjoy a fivedollar bill and a choice supper, hereal- ter. Good-evening, gentlemen.” s # . “Tam afraid Mr. Snafllcton,” Golightly, with whom I had just concluded an entrancing waltz, We were alonc in the con servatory, embowered in ferns, and a. tins fountain leaping into the air near us dropped Jin music at our fi Seraphina’s feet, I whl not help observing, were of such build that it was not difficult to believe her to be of Chicago origin, and, in fact, it had been whis pered in my car that she was the only daughter of the king of the Chicago grain corners, and worth five millions in her own right. ‘You English gentlemen,” the lovely girl continued, “learn somany naughty tricks from Albert Edward. How nice it must be to go to the races with the prince, and drink claret-cup, and cat salads, and make bets, and things!” ad, wicked ms “But could not another than a prince find favor in your eyes?" said I, tenderly pr her hand, which not unwilling) appeared, in mine. ‘May not the devotion of the heart of a loyal English gentleman, be- tween whom and the peerage there are but nine lives (several of which are likely to lapse at the next steeple chase), - suffice to win the smiles of beauty? Ab, Miss Golightly—might I call you Scraphina?--could you not appre- ciate the heart-felt love of one who, though less than a prince in rank, is not inferior to royalty in manly qualities? Could we not live ether on my ancestral estates, if I ever at- tain to them, and meantime in a Harlem flat, as harmoniously as we have just waltzed to- | gether?” as it Scraphina’s hand fluttered. eyes sought the floor, which they would have found had not her feet covered it; then she gently raised them, her ruby lips parted, and—— The Senorita Boscobello Bolaro was a fat woman, but she had entered the conser tory with noiseless step. She emerged at instant from behind the ferns, and drew Seraphina away toward the ball-room door, with, as it seemed to me, unseemly force and ruden But the fair girl yielded without re: Her lovely arge, stance. At the door I heard the Cubaness say: | “Now mind you, Mary Jane, you were hired from the Ladies’ Agency Bureau to dance, and we don’t want any such nonsense as flirt- gents from the World Employment And with that the pair disap- | Bureau. | peared. Such events as this present society in a new light, and strip it of its illusions, as it were, Seasoned as I am, it is difficult, all at once, to tumble to a conception of all the chances that such a mixed condition of things offers. I saw Seraphina the next night on the swing at Jac Aberl And I myself have been de- tected going into the Press Club, Even Ho- key Aul——; but it is better to pause. Be- fore long a private detective will be wanted at every party, and it will pay the master of the house to look after the detective. comicbooks.com