Judge — June 3, 1882 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

APPLE BLOSSOMS. love ance of their whit only f I love to hear th Talkit While t My sentimet 1 love all nature But do you seo that nc That lips peculiar y h you ¢ fish called have kissed sucker do you kno Just lighted on my tu: nd that with their stings re not frugal 1 T' not object ; saucy bees The Terribly Abused Thompson. Hubert O, Thompson, Com- Ove old friend, missioner of Publi as the most ter the Stat poses at present ligned individual in and this, too, in face of the fact that only one other publication in this city other than Tue Jupcr Hed attention to the mysterious ways of himself and his hirelings in management of the Department of Public Mr. Thompson has made extraordi- nary efforts to blind the daily newspapers of y tothe fact that the investigation now by the Senate Committee on Cities is one prompted by citizens who are at heart as honest as any who live in this me- tropolis, and has sought to create the impres- sion t the inquiry is a trick of an ant: Democratic faction to place him in a ght before the people. No one knows better than Mr, Thompson that a thorough ion into his department would not be creditable to him, and we shall be very much mistaken if the newspapers of this city will not soon be disabused of the notion that being made “ Say, mister, lat but yer jus’ throwd away’s gone out. Give ws a light.” THE JUDGE. the investigation is a trick of his political enemies. The manner in’ which squirms whenever facts de unagement of the Department of Works wn out is in itself suffi show that his plea of “not guilty” is uttered afer the fashion of the captured burglar who thinks the District Attorney cannot prove his guilt. The Senate Committee has taken con- siderable testimony in Albany, but the wit- nesses have been for the most part the sub- servient tools of Mr, Thompson, and their memories have been consequently sadly de- ficient. One of the witnesses outside of this jolly crew testified that he had been paid $2 aday for many days as an employee of the department, and that he did no work. There- upon Mr. Thompson hurled a card at the daily newspapers, and after denying that any such man was ever employed by him, added: “Comment upon such testimony, its authors, and promoters is unne That settles it, thinks Mr. Thompson, but it does not set- tle it, Comment is not unnecessary, as he will doubtless soon discover. The testimony of that one witness, we are informed, is asa drop in the bucket to what will yet startle the corpulent commissioner, and all the cards that he and his hirelings m write to the new papers will not save him from the wrath of the people. The Senate Committee on Cities is composed of gentlemen from various parts of the State, who believe that they have a duty to perform to the people of the whole State—gentlemen who can neither be coaxed nor bullied by Mr. ‘Thompson—and they propose to get at the bottom facts in his department if it ‘takes all summer,” Mr. Thompson imental to his Public Tur Hub has produced many good thing all will admit, but its ‘*Hub Punch” hives the shortcake. Itreminds one of the ‘* Lecture Room” of a museum, into which good people flock who would scorn to attend a theater, in- asmuch as its name is not indicative to the world at large of anything intoxicating. It biteth not like a lightning calculator, neither stingeth it like applejack. It is only mildly naughty at its very wo nd the ladies are very fond of it, of course. Guiteau has had the last prop but one knocked from under him. This one will prob- ably sustain him, however—if the sentence is carried out, “INVISIBLE blue: when he is wanted. ‘The coat of a policenan ‘Tue old maxim of “live and let live ” would never do for the butcher. “May dividends:” Violets are now due at all the respectable banks in the country, Aproposof the “ Language of the Flowers,” how would Forget-me-not do to send toa ri relation? Novet and beautiful must dic.” thought: -* We —Our Continent, all ient to | A MAN with nothing on his stomach: The outh Sea Islander, Tue old proverb, ‘ He lies like truth,” has heen altered for the use of ng diplomatists to ‘He lies like Shipherd.” “MEN of grit:” Nutmeg statesmen. Tue vandals of New York are becoming altogether too wsthetical. At all events peo- r ing in the suburbs think so when the Sunday crowds at this season of the year break branches off of valuable fruit trees just for the sake of the blossoms. A blunderbuss loaded with powder and rock salt would, if properly aimed, give these ruthless despoilers another kind of an iteh. Cavtiosary signals: Third finger rings, A society smooth bore: The “ muff.” Tur JupGE has innocently caused two hearts to beat as two —all onaccount of the following faragraph which recently appeared in its columns: “The best time to offer your hand to a lady—when she is getting out of the om- nibus.” Young Joughnes took this advice literally, and the next time he was riding in | an omnibus with his girl, he proposed as she was alighting from the vehicle, “right afore s. She blushed crimson, and, ing him an angry look, exclaimed, in a “loud whisper,” ‘Why, you idiot! How could you make such a fool of yourself in this public manner? Haye you been drinking?” They don’t speak now. ‘A CHIEL among ye taking notes:” The pickpocket. GeEoGRaPHicaL problem: If ‘God made the country and man made the town,” who made New Jersey? A PENSY edition of the New Testament has been published in London, and yet there are people too mean to read it even at that price. A RuM Miller: Joaquin. comicbooks.com