Judge — May 20, 1882 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THEATRICAL BRIEFS. May it Please Your Honor: In clearing up my cause-list for the present term I desire to call your attention to the following cases, which have not yet come to trial, and which should cer- tainly be forced to some issue or another. I respect fally recommend that they be put upon the shorter cal- endar and be promptly disposed of. ‘The People of the City and County of New York ts. George Darrell.—Indecent exposure of his inability to write a single line of common-sense or conceive one rational or possible situation. Also Indicted for being accessory before the fact to the murder of the English language by one Eugene Legrand, a: the Union Square ‘Theater, on Monday, May 8th, 1882. The People, &c., &c., ts. Georgina Parkes, late of Daly's Broadway Theater.—Masquerading in male at- tire. The People, &c., &c., vs. Leonard Grover.—Counter- feiting an expression of good-humor when in the so- ciety of people he notoriously dislikes. Further in- dicted for writing more “crowning efforts” than all the other dramatists in the business. The People, &c., &c., rs. McKee Rankin.—Grand larceny of Carrots from M'liss and conversion of Ofd Smith into "49. The People, &c., &c., rs. Charles Backus.—False pretenses, in that he, the said Backus, obtains money on the pretext of being an exceedingly comic, humor- ous, and entertaining performer, whereas, in fact, he, the said Backus, is notoriously addicted to engender- ing the deepest gloom and melancholy by his comic, humorous, and entertaining performances, so called. Further indicted for body-snatching, in that he, the sald Backus, bas willfally, knowingly, and maliciously rifled that grave-yard of humor known as “ Joe Miller's Jest-book,” in order to drag therefrom the fossil re- mains of ancient and long-since decomposed “ wit” and “‘hamor,” socalled. Further indicted for misrepre- sentations, in that he, the said Backus, publicly an- nounces himself to be related to Bacchus, the God of Wine, whereas, in fact, the said Backus Is in no senso to be associated whatever with wine, or with any other beverage. The People, &c., &c, ts. Augustin Daly, John Daf, et al.—Proceedings in bankruptcy, with application for mandamus, that defendants show cause why they should be permitted to throw away their unusual op- portunities for making money by sheer sttipidity and self-conceit. Indicted, also, for false pretenses, in that they, the said Daly, Duff, et al, have willfully com- posed and published certain bills, advertisements, &c., setting forth that they, the said defendants, have pro- duced “a highly-successful comic opera of a spectacu- entitled “ Girouetto,” whereas, in fact, the said ““Girouette” is a notoriously depressing and complete failare. In the case of the People of the City and County of New York rs. George H. Jessop, civil proceedings to recover damages from defendant for having imposed upon plaintiff’ certain farce, extravaganza, or burlesque, entitled “All at Sea,” of an extremely melancholy, doleful, and depressing character, I have to repeat, that I already held an examination, as per your honor’s order of reference. Case opened for plaintiffs. Bartholomew T. M. O'Rafferty Campbell being duly sworn, testifies that he is a dramatic author; that he attended a certain performance of the said farce, ex- travaganza, or burlesque, “All at Sea;” that he was in- formed, and verily believes, that one George UL. Jessop is the author and compiler of the same; that the farce, extravaganza, or burlesque aforesaid is a sad and mel- ancholy composition, calculated to produce mournful- ness and sorrow in the haman heart. Cross-examined.—I am a madly fanny dog myself. My jokes are so good that they are always borrowed, a couple of years in advance of their appearance in my plays, by the patent medicine almanacs. I cannot belp laughing at my own jokes—they are o excellent. Mr. Jessop is a rival dramatic author. I am not the least Jealous of him, I will swear to that. Case closed for plaintiff. Charles E. Collins, sworn for the defense, testities that he has seen “All at Sea;” it is a remarkably fanny composition; the situations are as absurd as any I over saw on the stage. I am a fair judge of plays, as 1 supply inspiration to a good many dramatic authors. Andrew Dam, Frederick Rullman, Martin Croft, the hoh wohlgeboren Herr Baron Von Mublbach, and six hundred other adult persons, baving been duly sworn, testify as above. Judgment rendered for defendant, with an allowance of $1,200. All of which is respectfully submitted. Toe Reve WHIFFS WITH CORRESPONDENTS, B, B—Accepted, “0. Bay.""—We omit you. P. E, L—Has anything happened? We takeitallback. Try again? “Bcxco."—You make a bulLif you think you can steer into our columns In that way. A. M. L—We have given It to you, and may good luck at- tend tt, Theres significance in it; don't you think #0? P. W. C.—The poem {s good, but the meter ts #0 long that tt sounds like the plaint of an undertaker. Eight syllables are quite enough. P.W. B.—Don't ask us to criticise your poem, please. At least, don’t Insist upon our going intottsenously. | We haven't the time; besides, you might feel offended. In your letter of instructions you tell us to put it anywhere that wesce Mt. We have endeavored to comply with your instructions. We pat it in the W. B. corner, ¥. T.—Sorry we cannot accommodate you, bat, really, your article is somewhat lengthy, and in order to publish it eure we should be obliged to leave out all of our illustrations. And the pubilc ts s0 whimsical! Indeed, they might object to do- ing without illustrations for even a single week, even with such fa sabstitute as you offer in your story of “Lovelorn.” Try the advertising columns of the Herald some day. At advertising rates you could get before the world, and probably become famous. OY MAKING MANY BOOKS THERE 18 NO END, Ecct. 1; ESTABLISHED 1838. NEAT AND ELEGANT Book BINpDING. PROM THE Plainest to the Most Elaborate Styles, EMBLEMATIC DESIGNS FOR ALL THE LEAD- ING SUBSCRIPTION BOOKS. SPECIMENS ON EXHIBITION. IF YOU WANT GOOD WORK, AT LOW FIGURES, AND SAVE AGENTS COMMISSION, COME DIRECT TO JAMES E. WALKER, 14 Dey Street, New York. A FILE OP NEW YORK HERALD, 1847, AND TIMES, TO DATE, AND ODD NUMBERS, POR SALE. se EDITION WORK AT SHORT NOT: E A SPEOIALTY. END name and address to Cragin & Co., Philadelphia, Pa, for cook book, free. $1.000 REWARD Jor, pertume uke Read's Geax Dvciess Covoone. It took frst premium at At- Janta; also The Worid’s Palr, and was pronounced the best in the world for pangency, strength, and delicacy of odor. It 1s made of Ottar of Roses and Prench Flowers, ‘Nuwaunau, N. Y., October 6, 1880, Dn, HoLwax—Dear Sir: I wish to acknowledge the great ben- ¢At derived from wearing your Liver Pad tor Dumb ague. 1 Dad suffered for three years, most of the time, from It liad been treated by the physicians of this and other places without any permanent benef. After wearing your Pad for one day I never had any return of the disease, and at present (now four months) am feeling perfectly well. ‘Yours truly, GEORGE CUTHBERT. E. Ridley & Sons, Grand, Allen & Orchard Sts, NEW YORK. SHOPPING MADE. EAS Out-of-Town Resiaents, Well as to Metropolitans BY THE AID OP OUR Comprehensive Catalogue WHICH WE WILL SEND FREE To any Address, on Application. IT GIVES THE PRICES OF ALL GOODS 52 DEPARTMENTS PROFUSELY ILLUSTRATED. THERE IS SCARCELY AN ARTICLE Desired, elther for Wear, Tollet, or Home Ornamenta- tion, but that can be found in our Establishment, and of any Quality or Style, at figures which render thelr possession posslb! Our Fashion Magazine Published Quarterly, at 50c. per annum or 15c. single copy, will be found of material help to Housekeepers everywhere. It Is a Practical Text-book on the many ‘Sided question of Fashion, and tells you What to Wear and How to Obtain it AT LOWEST NEW YORK PRICES. Also contains Priced Catalogye of our Stock. EDWD. RIDLEY & SONS 309, 311, 311 1-2 Crand Streets 86, 88, 60, 62, 64, 66, 68, 70 Allen Street; 59, 61, 63 Orchard Street. comicbooks.com