Judge — March 11, 1882 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

L BRIEFS. THEATRIC May it Please Your Honor: Havise duly People of the Sta Wallack, Theodore M the drama or play of * Youth,” so calle, I commissioned ‘ceived your onder of reference ez of New York va. John Leste wles Artis ef al, i rv and instructed a certai to wit, a special Master ble intelligence and acnt wserly, to act as ry. for the purpose of tak- pviden warily investigating the said complaint Whereapon the said Daniel A. Casserly makes report faded upon Tuesday ev the alleged play or melod at Wallack’s Theater. T pald four dotla tor for my ticket (Voucher A). 1 also de posited my funetion ne fifty conta (Vou had previously invested, under the ru ng last a perform. hat, cane now dress suit ly being admitted to Wallack's ‘Theater (Exhibit C). "On the as formanes nt of the curtain, after a prolonged per- alled, by the allegel orebestra, the said t to the auditory sense’ (Jones' Reports, public ott of oppression (Smith on General Wrongs, pp. 18, 29, 143), the alleged play began, A young lady, apparently 23 years of age, after holding a Jong and irrelevant conversation with a gentleman with a floured head, in a sunken chureh-yand, disap peared for an interval to give room toa travesty on the departure of a congregation from a church—th in this instance ¢ grinning young genth dozen giggling performance bei ta tort ing of several mien from Division street, half a 5 ladies from Sixth boys in round jackets and plug hats—from no partic- ular region—and an ancient female of vinegarish aspect, Kept over, apparently, from the last century These were shortly followed by the Rev. John Gilbert, D.D., rector of a parish appropriately named—Heecher- ly. When the parodizing congregation had daly dis- appeared the returned to accuse the Rev. John Gilbert, D.D. (tat. 72 in appearance), of having sustained an improper relation to her in the remote past, obviously when she was between two and three years of age. The Rev. John Gilbert, D.D., refusi to grant her the lease o se for which she clearly had no need, the young lady of 23 returned to London on foot (distance unknown), with the distinct purpose of Mr. Tearle, son by lawful marriage of the Ri John Gilbert, D.D., aforesaid. Ten minutes after her ith every mark of an accom- 1 disposition, took a train of toy cars—each about the size of a mouso-trap—and was therein whirled toLondon for the express purpose of being ruined. Which ended the first act. young lady of “At this point I sought and obtained certain stimu- lating refreshment, for which I expended twenty cents (Voucher D).” *+In the second act, Major Gerald Eyre, head and a col ith a floured in his nose and a red flannel jacket; and overcoat with the proper | jo Mr, Wilmot Eyre,with the Miss Alma St clothes, conversa tome unknown, Mr. Tearle being in the act of trying to induce some epileptic woolen swans with bh und whom, a the latte with My THE JUDGE. af Lidl suit of boy's errupted in a driveling tive groom ; a deliciously ¢ and Mr. Tearle, were ation by Miss Rose Co; an and other parties muslin 4, to avoid Miss Coghlan, with rle is never on very ood term: got into a moving on castors, 4 Stanley, and smoket a cigarette, while th took to itself legs and walked on and off rar to eat cru as Ham, Mr. Te stage all round him.” Frot clear id machine other powerful to seoa the 8th havin; the andienes ments of th t to the eleventh act I ha jea of what occurred, overcome ine in com Note, that ame new Wallack’s Theater is some mov ry for the diffusio ssthetic. this poi no very violent expositi on with the rest of ¢ the modern improve- with the rest of the audience in time British army, sixty men all told recruited from Regiment, SN. way to fight the Mghans. Led by Colonel Edwards, Major Eyre, Capta hope, h marches manned abled seamen, The East River tu: the British army to such an heads and legs of th thereof the aller departy off steam under its counter, started for that distant gion with a convulsive and in ch freight, “AU “Int plateau they hi period execution or 1 the alleged orchestra of th deal of ant insubordin Major Ey attacked who, aft nde alating compound, price 20 cents (Voucher British Army in Alma Stanley, and others, Unis heroic forlorn saded by six depressing Bfers and drummers, Lup a gu k, artfully composed of ston into the bowels of a small East River tug, admiral in fall uniform, and by two consumptive and visibly dep el dis: ing absorbed ming extent that the allant privates and officers stuck out of every port-hol ay. adn igual for its for Afghanistan, upon which the tu alar energy that filled entire audience with dire apprebensions for its heroic his point I found itn sary to obitain a second ). he thirteenth act 1 had an opportunity to see anistan, lodged upon a amo! ff mount ing, whither just lon popular airs by rf After ag tion of a strictly mutino te character between Private Te: re and others, the British Army was fui Jat the lowest computation by eight,Af er firing in the air, obligingly died, and enabled irrelevant conve the British Army to erect itself into a triumphant ta ean over their rem: 8. “At this point, in common with two-thirds of the audience, I withdrew from the theater, and, be state of a cab for “As a conclusio: is prima facie evidence to warrant the belief that the | play 80 1 Dress Suit. 1 Ticket 1 Cheek ts 1 Cab, In Fee All of gina absolate exhaustion, mental and physical, took | F home ( acher F). T beg leave to report (1) that there called ‘Youth’ is a tiresome piece of non- id (2) that the following bill of fees and costs incidental expenditures aud professional ff Hat, ete tm) ries to Nervous Syeter, Received payment D.A. CASERLY.” which is respectfully submitted, TH Rerreee. AN old farmer was in town last week look- ing for hen an editor's table on which to build a nest. He explained that he had learned from the papers that the biggest eggs were always ed to laid on the editor's table, and he wish- scertain whether the papers lied or not. of etherized air, or some | Havise discovered a very decided ame- lioration in the editorial tone of our esteemed | contemporary, the Commercial Advertiser, towards another of our equally esteemed con- temporaries, the Tribune, we hasten to make a note of it, out of regard for the feelings of newspaper readers in general. ‘The editor of Hues a dec the Commercial Advertiser no longe to the editor of the Tribune | procuress, and a pander,” but is now apps | rently content with calling him “an atroe li Further improvement may be anxiously expected, Tue German government has classed hams as cotton goods in the custom houses. ‘They certainly could not have been Connecticut hams, or they would have been classed wooden ware, “An, id he, as round beef on the fr he looked at the piece « Junch counter, “isn’t that a fine piece of meat; better than we have | at home.” Then he took a bit, fre know, and said it w better than they had at home.” He paid fifty cents for drinks f the crowd, ‘ better tha That evening the saloon-keeper and his family had a nice CI aubriand steak, with mush- | rooms; which proved that he had. something better than the rump-beef free-lunch ¢ | home.” you A younG lady was standing in a Third ave mie “Lear. A bashful young man rose and offered her a seat. Befor a big Hebrew dropped coolly into it, and thought he had done asmart thing. Seve | men smiled at hiscontemptible rudeness. He — | thought they were smiling approval of his — | martness. Me prided himself on the act. ‘ot one of the men had the bravery to tell him.of his meanness. So he does not know that they only hated him, she could nd were cowar bY in still life: Moon shining. WHIFFS WITH CORRESPONDENTS. | Sa Howanp N. F.—We pay for both kinds tn proportion to the value,amd add something for the repatation of the wriver, Keep on; we'll try and make It pleasant for you, W, CuILDA—We fear we stall be obliged 10 sit down 0 you, You do not possess the energy and potat that namesake astonishes the world with. And get, if for @ few years, practicing ten hours everv day, yo the sublime posit writer onr great Keep on may yet cepted with thanks pleases 1s to a if you please. hes on your “con “stn » not amount to much, but jee Fou may do better, The chances fora — | New York are very slit. What ts the difference hetween a ‘crank t and a Well, that depends upon how far they stan Dat perhaps this ts ‘answer, any more tha isa proper question. M. E. Ewpen.— Are you up in tee culture? How is the best way fo catch swarms that run away!" No, we are not ap in tee culture very much, lat we have heant of people catching ray tes by poking sticks Into their houses, They generally bem 08 all exposed portions of their persons, “pirer.t!—" Dear JepcE: How can 1 “cate! paper! IC 1s for sale on all news stands, 1.000 & perfume like Read 000 5; wocve. Vt took frst premium j20 The World's Falr, and was pr ‘for pangency, strenatt, and made of Ottar of Kases and French Piower part on’ to your comicbooks.com