Judge — March 11, 1882 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE J UDGE. + Tsce a trade dollar on the floor. DAT'S WHAT'S DE MATTER! Ev you's axin’ de reasons far all o' dis stylo, Why Th up in dis sort 0° fashion, Iva ‘case I'm a gwine to be stunnin’ awhile, An’ gowine to "pear uttalily mashin’ Jest look at dat hat whar de fedders am places fedders 80 nat'rally twinin’ 70 at de cut o' dha coat at de waist, An’ look whar de sunflower's shinin’, I wears ebery ornament gold in de stock, An’ parts all my wool in de middle, De cullud a flock Fur to heah me beat time on de fiddle, ter I charter a box; etic JONAS COMEDIUS. Out of His Element. ‘Tue city editor suddenly exclaimed: “By ieorge! I almost allowed that Thornberg- Hallman wedding to escape my memory, and it's going to be one of the toniest affairs that has happened in New Orleans since the war. I guess, Bunker,” he said, addressing the sporting reporter, “you had better go down to the church and fix up the wedding, as all the rest of the staff are engaged. Do you think that an do the subject justice?” “Yes, i “Well, go ahead then, and give a full and graphic account of the bridal party and the ceremonies.” The sporting reporter, with race horses chasing each other through his brain, grabbed his hat and disappeared, In the course ofan you 3, achat are yon holding your héad down for ? | And the hour he returned, and, seating himself, com- menced writing. When he had finished the report, he turned to the city editor and said: “T've fixed up this wedding in high style, and if you don't object I'll read the report to you.” The city editor had no objections to offer. “At an early hour the church, which had been previously decorated with evergreens, and the two tracks leading to the altar cov- ered with flowers as bright as jockey colors, was filled with a large crowd of people, who were anxious to see the great matrimonial race. Soon the minister ascended the stand, looked at his watch, and while bh so the bell tapped and the bridal party was seen coming up for the start. “The bride was a beautiful little filly, with a broad, smooth forehead, on which rested a forelock of soft flaxen ir, which indicated gentleness and mettle. Her eyes stiowed spirit, and although she was coupled rather short, her form, from her well-poised head down to her slender fetlocks, was simply pe fect. By her side, as she came up the main- track to the minister's stand, pranced an old bald-headed stallion, slightly sway-backed and stiff in the joints, who was evidently her sire. Tle looked if he had been on the turf for a great many yearsand had made a good record, The bridegroom was a splendid-looking fel- | low, and stood about 17 1-2 hands high, deep in the breast, broad across the hips, and small around the flanks. His hair was a chesnut-brown, and he had a proud look, which clearly indicated that his pedigree was fine. When the ceremony was over he spurred | up to his bride, and as he escorted her down | was doing 1 ERGEANT.—Spuad, about fac eadedt sergeant just lifts that * trade” anil appropriates it. the tlower-cover stepped high, with his neck bowed st concourse of peo- ple expected every minute to hear him snicker with delight and sce him reach down and bite the bride back of the ear. The costume of the bride attracted the attention of every one present, and elicited many exclamations of surprise. attired in a ha dress of dun-colored stuff, to which w: tached a dappled-gray basque of the same material, trimmed with a sorrel fringe and looped with da y ribbons and roan-tinted lace. As the bridal party were leaving the church the: “That-will do,” remarked the city editor, with acold glitter in his eyes. ‘Do you ex- pect thatereport to go in the paper? Do you imagine that you can, with impunity, call Colonel Hallman a bald-headed old stallion, with a sway-back, and his daughter, an ac- knowledged society-belle, a filly with a flaxen forclock? sir. Coloncl Hallman is an al citizen, and will demand satisfac- tion, You will be compelled to shift the re- sponsbility on to the proof-reader, and swea that he made it ‘bald-headed stallion’ when you wrote ‘benign statesman,’ and called the bride a ‘filly? when you wrote ‘fairy.’ ‘This will cause the proof-reader to be murdered even while he is butchering some article, and the blood of an innocent man will be on your head. You must alter that report or it will not go in the paper."—New Orleans Times-Democrat, She was SyMpox of the aesthetic P, I.: The decorated mug. comicbooks.com