Judge — February 25, 1882 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

we: MUSIC HATH CHARM A Suffered Cruelty BY ‘BRICKTOP.” We have societies for the prevention of cruelty to animals, he preventi of cruelty to children, but no law or any so- ciety for the prevention of cruelty to Broad- way Statues,” This is a blot that should be washed away. Think of these poor dear fellows, these types of honest industry, think of their being obliged to stand in: front of our fashionable | theaters, churches and hotels while engaged in the battle of life. The rich pa heeding by, the sensible even turn up their noses oftentimes, but no one, not even the gid- y girls who pass them and catch most likely their killing smiles, ever stop to think that these statues may actually be in pain while thus smiling. They never seem to think that these perfumed darlings may have corns and bunions, and that they are obliged to stand upon feet that have been tortured into tight boots, Why should not the prevention of crue be exercised in their behalf? But if the pub- | lic is so cold and calloused regarding them, why should not the proprictors of hotels at least take up the cause of these ornamental figures who devote their lives to standing around and making business look brisk, and provide seats for them? We notice that a few of the Broadway hotels who have show windows are more humane, and keep an assortment of them sitting in places where they can see and be seen and appreciated, but the sad fact remains that the great majérity of these valuable members of society are cruelly kept standing, obliging them to shift from leg to leg, and of course to compose themselves in a new and interesting | attitude at every shift. We suggest not only that chairs be provided | for the accommodation of these industrious | asthetics, who lend their bodies and their art towards beautifying Broadway, but that an ornamental card be displayed above their heads on the back of cach chair, giving a few nd one for them un- TO SOOTHE THE | longer allow ha AWA THIN o2 VAGE BRE oft ling traits of eae ether with their prospects and aims in life, something after this fashion Chanter Vox. Piurty, hopesal, would not mind U young lady who dotes on the beautiful linely eda- J received, Hand very proud, be varied ac- es, but even if these nd the majority of these These cards could of cours cording to circumst are not furnished ( j statues are so modest that they might object to sitting under them), we insist upon it that ided for them, It is a shame; it is a slur upon our humanity that these young men should be obliged to stand up or lean against columns while chewing tooth-picks, or sucking the handles of their canes. They make each hotel entrance a Pantheon, this cruelty should not be allowed to exist If we expect to mainta claims to a love for the beautiful, we must no ip to be imposed upon graceful beings who pose in our public chairs should be pro in ou the: pl The bright days of spring are near, when we shall see even more of them than we now do, Who will be the first in this great phi- lanthropy? Have we no aesthetic Bergh, or kindly Gerry? Polygamy vs. Bigamy. THE cot leration of this subject: makes | some men mad, and perhaps with reason, for why should a man in any other State, save Utah, who marries more than one woman be held as a criminal, with perhaps ten years of imprisonment staring him in the face, while in Utah he can have as many of these luxuries as he has money to support? Is this a free and enlightened country? Well, somewhat. ilas every man guaranteed to him the same privileges? Well, yes; all but in this case of matrimonial luxury, Why does the bald- headed American eagle scream? Let's see. Possibly because he hasn't anything clse to do, Maybe it’s his nature to scream, but that has nothing to do with bald-headed Americans whoare denied in one State the privileges that | are given in another. Why should a man who | hungers for more than one wife be compelled | to live in Utah? 1s it not a mockery of liber- ty? Why should not personal bravery-be en- couraged? and if a man residing in any State in the Union has the courage to tackle more than one wife and mother-inlaw, why should he be sat upon by the law? Is it because | Utah is a young State, and Uncle Sam wishes to give it some advantage over others of more age and population? But why favor it at the expense of other young aud ambitious States ed Territories? Or does he intend, when Utah has caught up, to give them all the same , and sic ‘em on to greatness of popu- ation? We still think, however, if he tolerates this sort of a thing in one portion of his domain, he should in all; and if men are tobe punished in Vermont for bigamy, those in Utah should be made to hump and eateh it for practicing polygamy, What says Congre Blaineism—or What? We wonder if Mr. James G. Blaine’s late projected international nursery included a country over the water-way, known as Ara- bia? Because we read that “the insurgents of Yemen (country aforesaid) have just pro- claimed aCaliph.” Caliphs are products nowadays, almost as rare rare political Blaine Iso. Since the Thousand and One Nights of good old Raschid, Caliphs have — been and, apparently, about as useful, Haroun- “ scurse,” so to speak, outside of Constanti- nople at least. But it is gratifying to know that the seedlings have not entirely run out. What both that the Caliph,” '$ US most, just at present, is, now Yemenites have “proclaimed a what are they going to do with | him? Hire a hall, perhaps, and give exhi- | bitions at so much a head, Or, possibl start a traveling show in the provinces. Might not the proprietor of Bunnell’s Museum take a notion—but stop! A thought strikes us—territic thought! Suppose the new Caliph should be Blaine himself! Joshua Goliath Gong translated! But what a Caliph our Great Potential Disturber of Nations would make, to be sure—particularly with the nine hundred million Peruvian claim paid up! To the seven gigantic wonders of the world would there be added another and greater yet! Iy youth my maiden aim Was to change my maiden name, Aud so I made an aim At him, and won my game, And changed and made a name, Tuat Shylock was a shareholder in some Venetian Elevated Railway Company there can be little donbt; for upon what other hypothesis can we account for his almost frantic request: ‘me my principal and let me go?” Tue Herald asks if hanging frightens any one. Well, maybe not bad, but it generally stops lots of deviltry—in the fellow that’s hung. comicbooks.com