Judge — February 25, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE “JUDGE. 3 THE ANGEL'S VISIT. Do I believe in angels? Yea, And in their prowling to and fro— T entertained one long ago, In guise of age and sore distress, He clambered up the narrow stairs, And by his beavenly smite I knew He was a truant angel who Had come to visit, unawares. “Rest theo, old man,” I gasly cried, “And share my humble couch and cheer— Thoa shalt not want for comfort here; My home and heart are open wide!” Relieved of temporary cares, ‘The old man laid him down and slept; And in my thankfalness I wept— Td entertained T never shall for; happy dreamns—my slumbers sound; \l whea I woke at noon, I found vanished out of s Perhaps in years that are to be That angel will return, and yet I sometimes fear he may forget To bring my overcoat to me. EUORNE Pinto. “ ERRATICS.” “Tue oldest Mason in the United States” has died again. ‘This time it is Ohio that en- joys the sad distinction, 1 sold out a successful tobacco business to marry a nice young chap, who smoked her game and doesn’t chews to keep | his promise. Butt she’s up to snuff and will sue for heavy damages. It was the fine cut which riled her. ‘Tue prize-fighter gets knocked out of time whenever he fails to redeem his watch at the pawnbroker's. “Gata” and ‘Eli Perkins” strain harder at the truth than either of their poor mothers did at the preserving kettle. Ose of the most uncommon things is com- mon politeness. Tue maiden that artfully contrives to keep all her lovers in tow is a flaxen-haired beauty. ‘Tis harder to cut down a two weeks’ beard than to hang up one round of drinks. A MAN may be known by the company he keeps, but a hermit works dead against the efficacy of that rule. Tnere are many fine drummers in our city bands, but the French baker can beat them all at the long roll. Ir’s not the lightheaded wives that make heavy-pursed husbands, Ir Marcus Brutus was such an honorable man, what made him “stick” poor Cxsar? Enclose Roman coins with your replies. Yous Mer youre RY to catch it bad.” SRYWAastington id oy. “ Coast Telp it; quoth the Truthful cy R Wee calm and steadfast Bye an ‘1 oid it with my ry Hatchet. Thea,” “ [cannot te]] a ie.* | (Hud He Lit out used to say that his moth-| IT oxce knew a nervous old gent, who was 's approving kiss made him a painter. I've | so afraid of epidemics that every time he seen many a splendid-looking woman take it his breath he broke out in a cold per ‘bus right on Broadway, but the stage-ir spiration, He had the asthma so bad that t didn’t turn artist. sweit used to drop off in icicles, even in mid- summer. A ester had a faithful hound, | ish setter; “Line cures like He often said: “ I've never found Homeopathists, E.g.—Sulphiur comes from For field sport one that’s better. Vesuvius and tna; therefore it is good for Unlucky chance! He took his gun eruptions, (No harm was ever boded). -— Bing! Bang! “ Ye gods, what have I done? | Mn. Jastes G. BLatve has washed his hands is the principa of the I knew not it was loaded.” of Shepherd & Co,—Exchangt Yes; and left a good deal of dirty weter in| Just then a joker passed that way— the basin. | A graceless word-disjointer: — “My friend, that dog has had its day, Tuere are a great many “big bugs” in ‘As sure as you're a pointer.” ‘The sportsman in a frenzy flew, By grief and pa “A pointer, 1? IL ! Alas! 'T know it's low dead.” Boston, but the little bugs t poison are just now attracting the most atten Each individual bean has to be skinned in or- 's true! der to get at the poisonous varmints, and skilled hands are called for to do the work -_ We should think that Yankee ingenuity could Ir you are aching to get into trouble, try | invent a bean undresser which would do the ‘y hard to help somebody else out of it at | business. Such an invention would undoubt- | your own expense. This recipe is infallible. discourage next year’s crops of bugs won- | lly, if it did nothing more. Tur publisher was somewhat nettled when he dryly remarked: “ Your translation is re-] A youna husband in North Carolina shot jected, sir, because by doing it in such an all- | himself to death because his wife refused to fired hurry you have shabbily discounted the | pull off his boots for him, And the prospect prophet Elijah.” of the widow ever getting ma of course, blighted, for who would m ied again is, ry a should give his bet- | Woman that refused to make a bootjack of dollars’ | herself? No married economis | ter halfa ten-dollar note to satisfy fift | worth of longing, It's not only downright mean, but it hurts retail business, Bvyotoay: The science of shopping. | comicbooks.com