Judge — February 4, 1882 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OUR POPULAR FARCES. “Treating.” | REPORTED BY “ED.” | | Cuaracters : HUFFELFINGER, ASSEMBLYMAN Mur . Dove, Mr. Presi, Ma. WeakWIL, three scene SCENE First,—MR, WEAKWILL'S office, Time, 3PM. Enter Mr. HUFFELPINGER and Mr. Fresn. Mr. Hugfelfnger.—Mow you vas, Weak- | will? 1 vas shoost through peezness, und I | thought 1 would coom in and take a look you. I vas gota frendt mit me, Mr. Fre Weakwill, Now you vas be mit each other. Weakwill.—Pleased to see Mr. Fr felfinger, how is it you vas olf’ so Hufrelfinger.—I v vyooman and liddle Shacob to der ¢ Shacob vas fery anxious te mule-hoss. Put on your Weakwill. What for? Hufrelfinger.—Vo get a schmile. Weakwill. Excuse me, really I do not care Hof arly? ing to dake der oldt e der educated to, Hugelfinger.—Dot vas all righd. You must go out too, ch, Fresh ? Fresh.—Oh, of course. Youcannot refuse, you know, Mr. will, Just one, old fel- lah, Weakicill.—Well, to oblige I will, But only one, for Phave got an engagement at tive. | ; Huffelfinger.—You vill pe pack mit yourself | in five minut (Exit all, SCENE SECOND.—Interior of the Royal Road to Ruin Gin Palace. [Enter Weakwitt, HUrrELPINcer, ond Fresu.} Bar: nts, wl Fresh,—Vll have a whisky sour. Huffelfinger.—Shoost a bony of t Weakwill.—I'll take a plain soda. eper.—G will you have ? Hufrelfinger.—Nonsense, vas you a dem- perance grusader ? ‘Take a man’s drink. Weakuwill.—Well, make it o!d rye. | [Enter AssemBLYMAN Merpiy and Me Dove. | Assemblyman Murphy.—Ab, gentlemen, what will you take with m Hufrelfinger.—No, you don't, 1 vos sediling | = | | EXPECTATION. | Murphy.—Oh, excuse m gin. I never go back on gin, Hugelfinger.—-Dat’s right. Py der vay, | vat does your friendt dake ? Murphy,—AMlow me to introduce him "| dust a trifle of you. Mr, Dove, gentlemen. Huffelfinger Mr. Mr. Dove, vot vos it ? -Itis seldom I drink, but on this little Rhine wine. Take some gin. Dove (meekly). —Gin, please. (D are provided and disappear. | WEAKWILL starts for the door.) Murphy.—Hold on, You've got to have one with me. Weakwill.—Thanks, but—— Murphy.—That's all right. Just one n You know [asked you when I all feel offended. Only one, for I've got to to Albany to-night. Weakwill.—In that case I will take a sec- ond. Bar-keeper, seltzer. | Hufelinger.—Weakwill, ton't mix. Dot vos vot gauses a disordered stomach. You dook neat rye pefore, dooken it me Hous,” aster faint demurs, do so, Drinks are hidden away.) Mr. Dove Murphy.— vel, a Up on me. © had enough, ive me a plai Murphy.—Dlain stu!!! Bar-keeper, gin for | Fresh. Mr. Dove. | Dove.— Tdalrank with Fresh.—One more, bar-keeper. you, you've got to dalrinkk with me. Ain't I Weakveill. ) | right, Mr. Murphy? Dove. 5 Ob, no! Murphy.—Putting it that way, you are. Hugetfinger.—Nein. entlemen, you ought, by etiquette, to drink Fresh.—Ye Really, I insi: with my friend Dove. Murphy.—1 did not mean to take another, (AU do so, By this time all begin to feel the but if este of the fi rapid potations, aA Fresh-—Deeidedly, you know, Td. spirit io don'teareadamitiveness de- Murphy.—Then, gentlemen, we will ha Hugenaye to, Bar-keeper, same; never mix. ede vill. —Give me ac le, too. Huffelfinger.—Und 1. sh.—We are drinking, not smokii ¢ got to take a drink; Il buy you cig (Drinks disappear). pu insist — —By tam, I don't believe I vill ¢ Shacob der see der—hic—edu- ated mule-ho: to-night. Let's have ‘hmile. Weakwill.—Them's my—hic—ideas. Fresh.—I feel dwy myself. Murphy.—I guess 1 can standsh it if you afterwa you want them. | fellows can. Weakeill,—Well, just another. Dove—Socanl. Sellumi drink, butwhenido Huffelfinger.—| vouldn't sday owit. Leetle | ean drink wiz any manliving. Whoop! more bony prandic: (So it keeps on until all are full as the typi- Dove.—Least bit gi cal goat. General hilarity, sky-larking Murphy.—Same. and hat-smashing. BAR-K! R objects. Proposition maue to bounce ba Objects. General free fight. Ar Weakrcill (solus).—'m—I'm getting to feel | __ policemen, Everybody arrested.) I wish I was back in my oflice; but of course | TarRD.—Police Court. I've got to treat, or el: will think 'ma| Police Justice.—Messrs. Huffelfinger, Dove, sucker. (Aloud, as he perceives his friends | Murphy, Weakwill and Fresh, I am ashamed about to leave.) Mold on, boys, one with me, | of you. The idea of five such apparently Huffelfinger.—Now, 1 vos got to get ofer to | respectable gentlemen uurselves getting Hoboken to get Shacob ready to look at der | intoxicated and raising a riot! I will have : to fine you ten dollars apiece. “And T've got to catch the ex-| Hugelfinger.—Den tollars. Why didn't ! F t avay home and dooken Shacob to see mule-hosses? I vould haf peen safen tollars | in midout no disgrace! But it vas all gome in — (The Avinks are avank.) educated mule-hosses Murphy. ve I. | Fresh.—And I am really full | Weakwill.—You've got to. Out of friend. | ™ ship's sake, 1 won't take a refusal, Mare) Wwphy. keeper, sec what they will have. ea i ing! Hufelfinger.—To oplige a friend I vill. | Weakwitt. Bat it vos der |; Steb ub. py curraiy.} comicbooks.com —————