Mad #313

Sep 1992 · EC · 1.75 USD

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In "The Ham That Robs the Cradle," Dave Berg serves up his signature satirical take on modern life, skewering everything from office routines to weekend road trips with his trademark wit. With sharp, clean art by Berg himself and a delightfully deadpan cover by Richard Williams, this 1992 Mad issue turns everyday absurdities into laugh-out-loud commentary—no spoilers, just pure, clever fun.

Contains 18 stories

The Ham That Robs the Cradle

5 pp

Annabella Sciorra [as Clear Barbell]Matt McCoy [as Nyquil Barbell]Madeline Zima [as Empathy Barbell]Rebecca De Mornay [as Pagan Mottly]Ernie Hudson [as Sullen]John de Lancie [as Dr. Mottly]Bernard Shaw (cameo)

The Outrageous Orchestral Offense

1 pp · Satire-Parody

Snappy Actions to Stupid Questions

2 pp · Humor

Mad Double Features—The Sequel

3 pp · Humor, Satire-Parody

Spy vs. Spy

1 pp · Humor

The Black Spythe White Spy

Mad’s Cross-Section of State Lottery Winners

2 pp · Humor, Satire-Parody

Petunia OdintzB.T. Ten EyckKnute JablonkaPancho PuenteWolfgang LindenblattClem WesterveltLucifer SchoenfeldJon VolquardsenJune Volquardsen

The Lighter Side of...

5 pp · Humor

In "The Lighter Side of..." from Mad #313, a sharp, satirical take on modern life unfolds across five pages of absurdist humor, poking fun at everything from office politics and grocery shopping to the perils of dating and the mysteries of the doctor’s office—all with the magazine’s signature wit. The typeset letters add a crisp, deadpan edge to the chaos, turning everyday frustrations into laugh-out-loud moments.

The Devilish Decapitators’ Delight

1 pp · Humor

The World’s Greatest Thinkers Go to a Baseball Game

2 pp

Guglielmo MarconiSocratesAlbert EinsteinIsaac NewtonSigmund FreudConfuciusMichelangeloThe Three Stooges [LarryMoeCurly]William ShakespeareMosesBart SimpsonWolfgang Amadeus MozartKarl MarxGandhiFriedrich Nietzsche

A Mad Look at RVs (Recreational Vehicles)

2 pp · Satire-Parody

Mad's Consumer Believe It or Nuts!

1 pp · Humor, Satire-Parody

The Mad Nasty File Volume VI

3 pp · Humor

Clarence ThomasH. Norman SchwarzkopfMike TysonDon KingBob SagetJean Claude Van DammeTed KennedyRush LimbaughJohnny Carson

Recycling Madonna’s Old Bras

2 pp

Madonna

Evening Shame

5 pp · Satire-Parody

Burt Reynolds [as Wooden Newton]Marilu Henner [as Diva Newton]Hal Holbrook [as Even Stevens]Elizabeth Ashley [as Freebie Stevens]Michael Jeter [as Wormin’ Smiles]Charles Durning [as Hardly Awayfromthefridge]Ann Wedgeworth [as Squirreleen Awayfromthefridge]Ossie Davis [as Yonder Black]Linda Gehringer [as Flauntana Bodaciousboobs-Stevens]Linda Bloodworth-MillionsCharlie BrownCalvinDon Knotts [as Barney Fife]Bill Clinton

10 Little Candidates

3 pp · Humor

The Bouncing Bungee Blooper

1 pp · Humor, Satire-Parody

The ABC’s of Rock

5 pp · Humor

A TV Ad We'd Like to See

1 pp · Humor, Satire-Parody