Archie's Joke Book #1

In "Guard Duty!", Jughead finds himself the unlikely caretaker of his prized cake, only to face a midnight mystery when Miss Grundy claims it’s been nibbled—despite the cat having kept watch all night. The absurdity unfolds in just one page, blending Archie’s signature humor with a classic case of misplaced blame.

In "Grundy Punch!", Jughead dodges detention by announcing he’ll deliver an oral composition on someone he admires—Miss Grundy—leaving everyone (including himself) unsure if he’s serious or just pulling a prank.

In "Discharge an' Dat Charge," Archie tries to convince Jughead to buy him a soda, but Jughead’s skeptical—after all, he just saw Archie with cash at the garage. When Archie claims he needed to get his battery charged, Jughead takes the joke literally and suggests charging the soda too.

In "Archie's Forecasts," Archie confidently lays out a series of wildly improbable predictions for his friends—claiming Dilton will become a great artist, Reggie a man of letters, Jughead will get all his meals for free, and that Archie himself will land a major oil deal.

In "Pun My Word," Archie, Betty, and Jughead trade playful jabs and puns over a slice of Veronica’s marble cake, with Reggie tossing in a dramatic "denial" and Betty weighing in on Kipling—until Archie’s take on Veronica’s new gardener sends the group into a fresh round of laughs.

In "To Each His Own," the gang tries out their own quirky ways to count sheep and drift off to sleep—Archie sticks to the classic, Moose imagines sheepskin diplomas, Veronica goes for wool coats, Betty counts Archie, and Jughead? He’s already thinking about lamb chops.

In "Reel Problem," Archie’s dad agrees to pay him $10 for a fishing reel, setting off a small crisis for Jughead, who was counting on hearing the clever trick Archie used to earn the cash. The promise of a new reel and the weight of a secret make for a classic Archie-style mix of friendship, rivalry, and harmless mischief.

In "Archie Quickies," the gang trades absurd one-liners in their usual playful banter, with Jughead tossing out a question about Tennessee, Archie baffled by popcorn in shoes, Veronica puzzling over a tablecloth’s remark, and Reggie wondering if Betty ever studied a blotter—each line a quick, silly twist on the everyday.

In "Reams of Votes," Veronica secures a third term as president of the Girls Economy Club—thanks entirely to a mountain of outdated stationery still bearing her name, which the club keeps using without realizing it. The joke hinges on the absurdity of tradition and bureaucracy, as the club’s outdated records keep her in power long after her term should’ve ended.

In "Dishenchanted," Betty gets suspicious when Jughead mentions Archie and Reggie scoring some fancy dishes at the matinee, leading her to believe the theater’s free dinnerware promotion has quietly resumed—despite no such announcement.