Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1924 · page 47 of 71
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #57 — page 47: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang* contains several brief humorous pieces typical of 1920s American satirical magazines: **"One Bottle of Milk, Please"** jokes on marital disappointment—a woman mistakes a stranger's kiss for romance, then coldly greets her actual husband, implying she'd prefer the stranger's attention. **The janitor/cook verse** is ethnic humor featuring an Irish character ("Shure me love") using stereotypical dialect and blarney to flirt. **"Santa Claus"** uses a common Depression-era trope: Santa bribing a poor boy with circus play to work (sawing wood), satirizing how children's labor was exploited under economic hardship. **"Protecting the Boys on Broadway"** mocks 1920s morality enforcement—a woman attempting independence is arrested by police and magistrate, suggesting authorities controlled female sexuality under the guise of "protection." **"The Dangerous Age"** cynically tracks female maturation: naïveté at sixteen, attraction to confidence at eighteen, skepticism by twenty—implying women naturally become wary of male intentions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
42 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang One Bottle of Milk, Please The parlor was darkened. She sat gazing into firelight. Quietly he stole up behind her. Quickly he bent and kissed her. “Oh,” she cried tremulously, and then turned and, discovering it was her husband, coldly added: “Is that you?” And upon thinking over her remark he, too, was surprised. * * * Our jovial janitor Barney, The crimson-faced cook liked to blarney, He’d say, “Shure me love, You’re a lily-white dove, Now stew me some chili-con-carne.” * * * Santa Claus NOW TOMMY, IF YOU’LL SAW SOME WOOD, I’LL LET YOU USE THE SAWDUST TO PLAY CIR- CUS WITH. * * * Protecting the Boys On Broadway Little Miss Muffit set out to tough it, And flirt with the guys on Broadway, But along came a copper With orders to stop her, And the magistrate sent her away. * * * The Dangerous Age At sixteen she blushes when a man praises her; at eighteen she thinks he’s clever; at twenty she wonders what he wants.