Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1924 · page 43 of 71
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #57 — page 43: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical philosophical pieces typical of the magazine's style—no visible cartoon illustrations. The first presents a creation myth contrasting "Knockers" (negative, suspicious people) with "Boosters" (optimistic civic-minded individuals), suggesting humanity must choose between cynicism and positivity. The second briefly mocks ambition itself, comparing it to a toad chasing a star's reflection—absurd yet dignified by aspiration. The third addresses a real post-WWI political debate: whether to reduce taxes (favored by Treasury Secretary Andrew Mellon) or pay bonuses to returning soldiers. The satire criticizes politicians torn between fiscal conservatism and honoring veterans' service, implying their indecision reflects conflicting values rather than principled choice. This references genuine 1920s policy disputes over veterans' compensation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
38 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang THIS philosophy may be as aged as the hills but it surely has the flavor of a Whiz Bang editorial. So here goes: *When the Creator made all the good things, there was still more dirty work to do, so He made the beasts and reptiles and poisonous insects, and when He had finished He had some scraps left that were too bad to put into the rattlesnake, the scorpion and the skunk, so He put these together, covered it with suspicion, wrapped it with jealousy, marked it with a yellow streak, and called it a Knocker.* *This product was so fearful to contemplate that He had to make something to counteract it, so He took a sunbeam and put it in the heart of a child; then He added the brain of a man, and wrapped all in civic pride, covered with brotherly love, gave it a mask of mirth and a grasp of steel, and called it a Booster.* And ever since these two were, mortal man has had the privilege of choosing between them. *** The hop-toad hankering for the star reflected in his stagnant pool is the most absurd of all living things, but who dares mock at his aspirations, for he has the illusion of fulfilling his dream. His soul will not decay. *** POLITICIANS high in the counsels of the nation have found themselves torn between the alternative of tax reduction and sol- dier bonus. Some of them favored the plan put forth by Secretary of the Treasury Andrew Mellon for general tax reductions. Others pre- ferred to give the ex-service men their due and let economy go hang.