Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1924 · page 42 of 71
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #57 — page 42: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks what the author calls a "new American credo"—a moralistic impulse to criminalize personal preferences. The author argues that Americans increasingly declare their own tastes virtuous and others' tastes sinful, then seek to impose these views as law. The repeated examples (prize-fights, modern novels, alcohol, smoking, Sunday fishing) illustrate how arbitrary this moralism becomes. The author suggests that if such logic prevailed, even harmless activities like "twiddling thumbs" would face legal punishment. The closing quip about "skid chains" on one's wife suggests the suffocating constraint of living under such rigid moral policing—even with family. The piece critiques American puritanism and intolerance, likely responding to Prohibition-era moralizing. The title "Farmyard Fun and Philosophy" suggests this is satirical commentary disguised as rustic wisdom, mocking those who impose their values on others as absurd and tyrannical.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Farmyard Fun and Filosofy 37 WILL those two star boarders of the museum, the pachyderm and the dodo, move over and make room for another of the extinct species? This addition is—toler-ance. It is fast getting to be a relic of the past. There is a new American credo. It runs something like this: What I like to do is all right; but what I don't like to do is sinful. And may the avenging angels smite the sinner good and hard! My brother likes to go to prize-fights. I don't. Therefore it is sinful to go to prize-fights. My brother likes to read modern novels. I don't. Therefore it is sinful to read the modern novels. My brother likes his little snort of schnapps. I don't. Therefore it is sinful to guzzle or even sip. My brother likes to smoke cigarets. I don't. Therefore it is sinful to drag at a fag. My brother likes to fish—even on Sunday. I don't. Therefore it is sinful to— But why go on? If my brother likes to twiddle his thumbs, and I don't care for that fatiguing exercise, why no doubt in time a law will be passed providing the pillory and stocks for the thumb-twiddlers. *** It's just like having skid chains on to be with your own wife when something happens.