Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1924 · page 29 of 71
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #57 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains four separate humorous pieces from *Whiz-Bang*, a satirical magazine: 1. **"The Elsie Smith Blues"**: A joke about a man forced to use a typewriter himself while his attractive stenographer is on vacation—poking fun at male incompetence with office equipment. 2. **"The Mink Link"**: A brief romantic poem, likely satirizing overly sentimental love poetry of the era. 3. **"Three Weeks" Movie Reference**: A jab at the film adaptation of Elinor Glyn's scandalous novel, suggesting censorship will strip away its sensational content (the "nails and bolts"—its provocative elements). 4. **"Gus Spurts Out Some Free Verse"**: A mockery of modernist free verse poetry, using a silly barn-dance anecdote where "big Tilda Swanson" confuses "We Have No Bananas" (a 1923 novelty song) with "The Star-Spangled Banner" and stands respectfully. The final note satirizes Prohibition-era morality legislation, suggesting surface-level legal reforms don't actually change behavior or character.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Farmyard Fun and Filosophy 27 The Elsie Smith Blues Walking into a friend’s office one hot day last summer, I found him busy at the typewriter. “Hello old scout,” I said to him. “Got a new job?” “No” he replied. “That beautiful auburn-haired stenographer of mine is away on her vacation, and I’m pounding this darned old machine during her absence.” * * * The Mink Link I kissed her in the parlor In the log fire’s ruddy glow, And the flaming sparks that hit us Felt like little flakes of snow! * * * THE MOVIE OF “THREE WEEKS” PROBABLY WILL BE LIKE A HARDWARE STORE WITH ALL THE NAILS AND BOLTS REMOVED. * * * Gus Spurts Out Some Free Verse The other night I went to a barn dance With big Tilda Swanson, And when the fiddler Struck up “We Have No Bananas” Tilly thought it was the Spangled Banner And stood up— The dumbbell. And so did I. * * * Ten years ago a bindle stiff was a tramp; today he’s something else; great is morality through legislation.