Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1924 · page 23 of 71
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #57 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes Hollywood's response to real scandals involving prominent silent-film stars. It references **Wallace Reid's** drug addiction and death, and **Mabel Normand's** chauffeur shooting someone on New Year's Day—both genuine 1922 incidents that shocked the public. The satire targets **Will Hays**, the film industry's chief censor, suggesting he'd manufacture convenient alibis for stars to tell police. The piece mocks how quickly the word "hop" (slang for opium/drugs) became the scapegoat explanation for all Hollywood crime, rather than addressing actual negligence or character flaws. The opening jabs at Mabel Normand specifically—suggesting she needed "female chauffeurs" instead of male ones to avoid scandal. The final section ridicules how the phrase spread through gossip, creating incentive for drug-use narratives that distracted from the real issues. It's cynical commentary on celebrity protection, industry spin, and moral panic over drugs in 1920s America.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Farmyard Fun and Filosofy 21 lady should change chauffeurs now and then, or as often as the weather grew too warm. Only what Mabel ought to have is female chauffeurs, female butlers, female directors, et cetera—then the weather would always be fine. * * * Judging by the various versions of the shooting given by the perturbed principals, the big boss of moviedom— none other than Will Hays himself—might improvise a few handy alibis for the stars to carry around with them. Then when they are subjected to police examination, they can tell something that's both plausible and consistent. * * * AFTER Wallace Reid's tragic adventure, dope seems to get its share of the blame for most everything criminal that hap- pens in Hollywood. Fair enough. But dope isn't the only devil with which old Beelzebub has honored filmdom and the rest of the world. For instance, Mabel Normand's chauffeur who started the New Year with a trifle of careless gun play. Speaking of dope once more, the victim of the Normand chauffeur's good shooting groaned the following shortly after he was laid out in the hospital: “I don't know why in the world that fool ever shot m-. He must have been full of hop.” Hop, hop, hop—it was so easy to say that tongues picked it up and passed it along, and right away—ha! Good. The very incentive. A hop-head chauffeur gets tired of waiting for