Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, August 1922 · page 45 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #36 — page 45: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page gossips about a Hollywood love triangle involving three silent-film stars: director Mickey Neilan, actress Blanche Sweet, and actress Gloria Swanson. The satire mocks the dramatic melodrama of their romantic entanglement—Neilan apparently chose Sweet over Swanson, who was traveling to New York when Sweet was heading there instead. The humor lies in the absurdist details: Sweet's casual, witty telegram accepting a marriage proposal ("The heat must be terrific"); the two women literally passing each other in transit; and Swanson sending an extravagantly luxurious parting gift (a diamond-and-platinum watch) before the wedding—a detail that's both petty and ostentatiously generous, mocking Hollywood excess and the performative nature of celebrity romance. The piece treats real people's lives as entertainment fodder, a common practice in 1920s fan magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 43 Yawps From New Yawk THE Mickey Neilan-Blanche Sweet-Gloria Swanson triangle, which has been holding the undivided interest of the film gossips these past weeks, reached its ultimate climax when Mickey married Blanche in New York in mid-June. Just how and why Mickey succumbed to the unrelenting wiles of Blanche is a tale untold. Suffice it to say that Neilan arrived from Europe several days ahead of Gloria. He wired an invitation of marriage across country to Blanche Sweet and they say that lady whimsically replied something like this: "The heat must be terrific in New York. Starting East Tuesday." Gloria and Blanche passed each other crossing country, one headed westward and the other towards New York. Then the marriage. Believe it or not, Micky is said to have received a gorgeous de luxe watch from Gloria before the ceremony. It is a crystal thing, hardly thicker than a sheet of paper, with an edging of platinum and diamonds. Through